


Trust (In) Me

by Lilithtje



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Horcruxes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Order of the Phoenix AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:42:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 32
Words: 72,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilithtje/pseuds/Lilithtje
Summary: At the beginning of his sixth year in Hogwarts, Harry Potter is determined to apologize to Snape for invading his pensieve and to ask for more Occlumency lessons. He doesn't expect to be received with open arms... but Snape's reaction is unexpectedly extreme.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

 

 

Harry would have known he has entered the dungeons even with his eyes closed. Just a few steps down the stairs the temperature dropped rather quickly. Even during the warm autumn days, the Hogwarts dungeons were icy cold and damp.

Pulling the robe closer around his body, Harry descended further into the bowels of his beloved school. Every so often a torch would be lit on the wall, casting creepy shadows all around.

  
There weren’t any portraits in this part of Hogwarts, which Harry found a bit strange, to be honest. Perhaps even the painted people disliked the gloomy atmosphere of being underground. Though if he recalled correctly, Slytherin common room was indeed guarded by a portrait. He had seen it briefly when he and Ron were let inside by Malfoy. As at the time they were polyjuiced as Crabbe and Goyle and were nervous enough about being found out, Harry understandably didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings.

 

  
Now he was nervous for a whole other reason. He was about to start his sixth year in Hogwarts.. after spending a hellish summer with his relatives, who would begrudge him even the right to mourn his dead godfather, Harry hoped for a quiet and uneventful school year. He knew it wasn’t very likely to happen, what with Voldemort out in the open at last, but hey, a boy can hope, right?

  
Entering a long corridor behind a potion classroom, Harry stopped in front of a heavy wooden door. A small plaque, barely visible in the dim light of a torch flickering nearby, hung just to the left.

  
**Potions Master Professor Severus Snape** it read.

  
Harry took a deep breath, pressing a palm against his chest in an attempt to slow the frantic beating of his heart. He was going through with this, he told himself. It was the right thing to do. He had spent many sleepless nights drowning in guilt as he mourned Sirius.

If only he had mastered the occlumency last year, Sirius would have still been alive. Sure, he had blamed Snape at the time that he was unable to teach him properly. And perhaps their mutual animosity was one of the reasons Harry couldn’t master the art of closing his mind. But Harry had the whole summer to come to terms with the fact that he was indeed the only one truly responsible for that failure. He had _welcomed_ the dreams of that long corridor, he _wanted_ to find out where that door would lead to.. he could’ve just as well invited Voldemort to take a stroll through his head.

 

  
But no more. Harry was determined to keep the snake-faced man out of his mind. He couldn’t allow any more people get hurt because of his ignorance. And so he was going to suck up his Gryffindor pride, apologize to Snape for invading his pensieve last year and plead with the man to teach him Occlumency again. He would grovel if he had to, even though he still hated Snape. Well, perhaps hated wasn’t the right word. Harry reserved his hate solely for Voldemort. Strong dislike was probably more accurate. Though after seeing young Snape being bullied by James and Sirius, Harry could empathize with his professor on a level he never would have thought possible. He felt genuinely bad about watching the memory and that was also a big motivator for him wanting to apologize to the sour potions master.

 

  
Glancing around the corridor for any stray Slytherins, Harry lifted his hand and knocked on the door. When nothing happened, he knocked a bit harder. The dungeons were eerily quiet and the gentle knocking sounded too loud to Harry’s ears.

After a while, Harry huffed to himself, hoping he’ll find the courage to return again tomorrow. He was about to turn away and leave when he spied another door, at the far end of the dark corridor. Cautiously coming closer, he examined the dark wood.

Hogwarts was full of secret passages and hidden rooms and Harry has learned firsthand the need to be careful. Especially when it came to entering an unknown room.

 

 

There weren’t any torches this far into the passage, only the rough stone walls and the black door. Harry thought it was probably made of dark oak but it was hard to tell. Just as he has leaned forward to try to peep through the keyhole, the door was pulled open.

Harry startled, looking down at the pair of polished black shoes. He slowly straightened himself, his eyes following along the black slacks, two rows of tiny black jacket buttons and finally stopping at the scowling face of his potions professor. Harry’s eyes widened in surprise.

  
“Potter.” Snape spat, glowering at his student. “What are you doing lurking about in front of my private quarters? Why aren’t you in your dormitory? Twenty points from Gryffindor for being out after curfew, and that on the first night of the term. Tss tss Potter, that doesn’t bode well for the House Cup, now does it?” Snape sneered, maliciousness practically dripping from his eyes.

  
“Umm.. I knocked on your office door but you weren’t there.” Gulping, Harry added hastily. “Sir.”

  
“Obviously.” Arms folded across his chest, Snape looked down at Harry. “And? Speak up, boy!”

  
Harry felt a wave of anger rise from his chest. How he hated being called boy in that manner. Uncle Vernon always did that, slapping him around and shouting. Not once did he use his first name, he was always boy or Potter.

  
Grinding his teeth, Harry answered. “I came to apologize for looking through your pensieve last year, sir. And to ask if you would teach me occlumency again. I will..”

 

  
Before Harry could finish, he found himself nose to nose to a very irate potions professor. Snape grabbed him by the lapels of his school robe, pulling Harry up to his face. Due to their height difference, the messy haired teen was barely standing on the tips of his toes. Snape was clearly seething, shaking Harry back and forth as if he was nothing more than a ragdoll.

  
“You have the audacity to come here, to my private quarters, talk about your despicable actions and have me believe you want to apologize? How arrogant you are, Potter! Just like your father, strutting about and expecting everything will fall into your lap! Expecting me to waste my valuable time on you just because the rest of the wizarding world caters to your every whim! You disgust me.”

  
“That’s not true!” Harry shouted. “I really am sorry about the pensieve, I shouldn’t have looked! It was just.. I wanted to know what was going on but nobody would tell me anything! I thought professor Dumbledore asked you not to tell me stuff and I wanted to know why I kept dreaming about that corridor. I thought.. I didn’t know I would see your personal memories. I’m sorry!”

  
Harry wanted to continue but a truly violent shake from the potions master had him accidentally biting his tongue. The coppery taste of blood invaded Harry’s mouth.

  
“Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you weren’t meant to know? That perhaps certain information was withheld for your own safety? And that of others?” Snape’s voice was quiet but all the more scary. “Are you truly so conceited to believe the world revolves around you? You are nothing special, Potter! Nothing but a mediocre student and a mediocre wizard! If not for the misfortunate night when the Dark Lord chose to act on a half-heard prophecy, nobody would be even remotely interested in you!”

 

  
With Snape’s face so close to his, Harry craned his neck backwards to avoid the spittle flying from the professor's mouth. He wanted to stay angry, to shout at Snape for being unfair, but he knew the potions master was right. He was not special. Sometimes he wondered if he should just let Voldemort kill him and be done with it. But then he would think of his friends and the Weasley’s who were like his family. And Harry knew he would fight to the last breath just to keep them safe. Sirius had died because of him but he would do anything he could to save everybody else.

  
“I know.” He said to Snape, his head hanging down in defeat.

He didn’t see the narrowing of the potions master’s dark eyes or the curling of his lip that bared the crooked teeth. He was wholly unprepared for the hard shove that propelled him out of the door, smacking hard into the stone wall of the dungeons corridor.

  
“Get. Out.” Hissed Snape furiously. “And don’t come back!” The door closed behind Snape with a loud bang at the same time Harry’s back hit the wall.

Literally flying backwards, Harry couldn’t in any way cushion his fall, feet slipping on the cold stone floor. His head collided with the structured bricks with a sickening crunch, blood splattering the wall. Harry registered a sharp pain in the back of his head and then his world went dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first take on Snarry. It will probably be quite a slow build, I'll see how the writing goes :)  
> I'm not a native english speaker so I apologize for any mistakes.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Severus Snape was absolutely furious. The sheer audacity of that boy! That insolent whelp thought himself so above others that he had no boundaries.

_‘How dare he come here and ask for favours.’_ Severus thought. Not even a day into the new term and already Severus was ready to flay the boy alive.

 

He walked to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a generous glass of scotch. Sinking into his favourite armchair, Severus picked up the potions journal he was about to read before his wards registered an intruder outside his quarters.

Now he finally had the time to peruse the magazine, though his mind was still occupied by the unexpected encounter with Potter. _‘Apologize indeed. He can practise his acting skills on the gullible Gryffindors, they may believe him.’_ Severus scoffed to himself.

 

The burning sensation of scotch running down his throat finally helped him relax long enough to turn his attention towards the potions journal. The article about poisons that could be used to cure certain conditions was especially interesting and before long Severus was deeply immersed in reading.

 

He didn’t notice the flames of his fireplace turning green and startled when he suddenly heard voices.

 

“Albus, ask him now. Perhaps he is still there?”

“I was about to, Minerva. We will find him, don’t worry yourself.”

Severus laid down his magazine and watched the headmaster’s head appear amongst the flames. “Ah, Severus! Good evening, my boy!”

Severus sneered. “Do you need something, Albus?” He had seen the headmaster at dinner just a few hours ago. What could be so important that couldn’t wait until morning?

 

“Yes, Severus.” Even through the flames, Severus could see the twinkle in the old man’s eyes. “Minerva came to me after checking on her Gryffindors. It seems we are missing Harry Potter.”

 

Of course, of course it would be about Potter! Not a day went by that Potter would be mentioned in some way. Even during the summer holidays, Potter was all Albus would talk about. Not even the Dark Lord got so much attention!

On some level, Severus realized he was being unfair but he despised everything that Potter represented. The famous, privileged student, fawned over by the general public, always getting away with trouble, always in the spotlights..

 

“Potter has always thought himself above the rules. He is probably strolling around the castle, getting into mischief. How is that different from any other time?” Severus raised his eyebrow with disdain.

“Severus!” Minerva McGonagall squeezed herself next to Albus. “Ronald Weasley has informed me that Harry was planning on visiting you in some personal matter. Weasley was worried about his friend.” She looked at Severus expectantly. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, young man!” Said Minerva strictly. “Has Harry visited you tonight?”

Severus let out a deep sigh. “Yes, he was here. Blabbered about some nonsense until I sent him on his way. Where he went after that, I cannot say.” Sipping his scotch in a languid manner, Severus gave the impression of being bored with the conversation.

 

“We are coming through.” Was the last thing he heard before the floo activated. The headmaster and his deputy stepped out of the fireplace, brushing away the soots.

“We should probably retrace his steps from here. Perhaps he got lost in the dungeons?” Minerva looked at the two men impatiently.

Severus rolled his eyes and answered with a sneer. “It would serve him right. Bothering me in my private quarters.”

 

The deputy headmistress pursed her lips and turned around, intent on getting out of the potions master’s rooms and going looking for her wayward student.

Albus leaned closer to Severus, his eyes curious. “What did Harry want to talk about with you?”

Severus regarded him with an unreadable expression. “He would have me believe he wanted to apologize for the pensieve incident. As if I were one of those simpering fools who hang on to his every word!”

“And that’s all he wanted to talk about?”

Severus didn’t like the look in Albus’s eyes. “He also had the audacity to ask for more occlumency lessons! After he completely neglected them the last time! He is a lazy, barely average student and I will not waste my time trying to teach him an art he clearly has no real interest in!” Severus was fuming again when he recalled how Potter tried to persuade him with an obvious theatrical gesture. Hanging his head in repentance, Severus scoffed. As if Potter was even capable of such an act.

“Let me get this clear.” Albus pierced him with a searching look. “Harry came here to apologize to you and to try to reestablish his lessons. And you have reacted negatively?”

“Of course I have reacted negatively!” Severus exploded. “I did the only thing I could under such circumstances.” He sniffed, trying to regain his composure. “I promptly threw him out.”

The headmaster shook his head sadly. “My dear boy, why can’t you see..”

 

He was interrupted by a shrill scream. “Albus!! Oh, Merlin.”

The headmaster hurried to the open doorway where his deputy disappeared. “What is it, Minerva?” He reached the door just in time to catch her as she swayed on her feet.

“Harry.” She croaked, tears filling her eyes.

Albus looked past her into the dark corridor. There on the ground lay Harry Potter. His face was ghostly white and his eyes closed.

Albus let go of Minerva and quickly kneeled down next to the boy. He pressed two fingers against Harry’s throat, trying to find the pulse. He noticed how cold his skin was as if he’d been lying here for a long time. Pulling out his wand, Albus cast a simple diagnostic charm, letting out a relieved sigh when he indeed detected a faint heartbeat.

He conjured a few balls of light, making them float above his head.

Minerva let out a loud gasp as she came closer. Now that the corridor was no longer hidden in darkness, they could see that Harry was lying in a large pool of blood.

 

It was at this point that Severus has finally come to investigate what had the normally composed woman shrieking like a banshee. The sight in front of him had him frozen in shock.

“He has lost a lot of blood. I think his head is severely injured.” Albus turned to Minerva. “Minerva, please get Poppy here immediately. We can’t move him until Poppy says it’s safe.”

The deputy headmistress jumped into action at once, that was after all what Gryffindors were famous for. Pushing the shock frozen potions master out of the way, she hurried to the floo.

 

Albus turned back to the injured boy. Not wanting to worsen his condition, Albus couldn’t do anything but wait. Although he was quite proficient in simple healing charms, he would not dare risk Harry’s life by accidentally hurting him even more. The two minutes it took for Poppy to arrive had felt like an eternity. Albus had seldom felt so helpless in his life.

“Out of the way, let me through!” Poppy called already from the door.

Albus stepped aside and lifted the floating orbs a little, making sure the mediwitch had enough light. He watched as Poppy cast the charms. First the diagnostic, though more complex than what Albus himself had used. Then a quick sequence of first help charms he recognized and some he didn’t. Finally, she opened her emergency bag that was filled with potions. She moved her wand in a clockwise movement as she spelt the required potions in Harry’s stomach.

“We can move him now. I need to get him to hospital wing before I can put him in a healing coma.” Poppy looked up at Albus. “He has a severe concussion and needs to be monitored constantly.”

“I see.” Was all Albus said as he helped Poppy levitate Harry and place him gently on the conjured stretcher.

 

“I assume he needs to be levitated all the way to the hospital wing?” He finally asked.

“Yes.” Nodded Poppy, making sure her patient was properly strapped to the stretcher. “Floo is out of the question.”

“I will help you.” Minerva stepped closer with a determined look on her face. “I want to stay with him for a while if that’s all right.”

Poppy looked at the headmaster who inclined his head. “Yes, you go. I will stop by later.”

The mediwitch noticed he was looking at the potions master with a solemn expression. She didn’t even realize Snape was here all this time. He was being unusually quiet and just stood in the doorway rigidly.

“Very well.” She said at last. “Let us go.”

With Minerva’s help, they carefully levitated Harry through the silent halls, few of Albus’s light orbs floating along with them.

They walked in silence, both thinking about the boy who got hurt within the walls of this castle much too often. Both trying to come up with an explanation of why he got hurt just outside of Severus’s personal quarters.

Poppy recalled seeing some blood on the wall opposite of the potions master’s door. And that didn’t bode well for the snarky professor. No that didn’t bode well at all.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next: Severus will experience a real eye-opener.


	3. Chapter 3

 

When the two women and their precious cargo disappeared around the corner, Albus turned his attention to the stained floor.

Precise movements of his wand made sure all the blood was cleaned up, not a drop left behind. Blood could be used in many nefarious potions and rituals and the blood of The Boy Who Lived was beyond priceless. Albus also examined the stone wall meticulously, thoughtfully, before vanishing the red liquid stain.

 

Only then did he turn to the muted potions master who watched his actions in stiff silence. “Come, Severus. We need to talk.”

Gesturing wearily with one hand, Albus ushered him back inside. Once they were seated on a dark brown sofa in front of the fireplace, the headmaster summoned a pensieve he knew Severus had stored in his rooms. “I believe it would be best if I were to view the events of this evening as they truly happened, don’t you?”

 

Albus watched Severus withdraw his wand rigidly and place it against his temple. A thin silvery strand appeared on the tip of the wand and Severus gingerly deposited the memory inside the pensieve. He looked up at Albus once he was done, his eyes a storm of emotions.

“I want you to watch it with me.” Albus said. When Severus made a protesting sound, Albus lifted a hand to shush him. “I must insist.”

Not waiting for an answer, the headmaster took Severus’s hand and together they touched the silvery liquid, essentially diving in the potions master’s memory.

 

Severus watched himself pick up the potions journal, getting ready to sit down when the wards chimed, announcing a visitor outside his quarters. He felt Albus take him by the elbow and steer him closer to the door so they could watch his memory self closely.

The memory Severus opened the door and they saw Harry Potter, almost bent in half, blinking in surprise as he finally looked up at his professor.

_“Potter.”_ Severus cringed when he heard himself speak. Did he really sound so… spiteful? He watched Potter fidget as he spoke, pulling on the hem of his school robe. His face looked so innocent, how did Severus not noticed that before? James Potter has never possessed this kind of innocence, not even as an eleven-year-old.

Harry’s green eyes, magnified behind the hideous spectacles, seemed too big for his face.

Severus glanced at Albus. The headmaster was observing the scene before him with rapt attention.

 

_“Speak up, boy!”_ The memory Severus towered over his smaller student in a distinctly menacing way. The memory Potter went rigid, fire flashing in those emerald eyes.

This, Severus recognized all too well, Potter was angry. Why now, though? Fascinated he observed as the boy composed himself and started talking through gritted teeth.

 

With a growing sense of horror, Severus viewed the next scene. His memory self grabbed Potter by his robe and shook him violently. Potter was barely standing on his toes, the scuffed trainers leaving the ground every so often. His arms hung limply against his body and Severus was suddenly reminded of another incident he’d witnessed as a child.

His brute of a father, coming home drunk and angry, manhandling Severus’s mother until she was bruised and broken. Yet she never fought back, never lifted a hand (or a wand) to protect herself. She knew the abuse would only get worse if she did.

 

But for Potter to react the same way, that was unprecedented. How could this be? Alarm bells were ringing in the back of Severus’s head however for the moment he pushed those thoughts aside as he watched himself shake the green-eyed teen furiously yet again.

The boy shouted at him, words spilling out of his mouth rapidly yet his posture remained the same. The memory Severus was spitting pure bile now, lashing out at the boy with his statements.

When Potter hung his head, chin almost touching his chest, Severus stepped closer and crouched down a bit. He could see Potter’s eyes like this, he could see what his memory self wasn’t able to.

Potter’s eyes were glazed over, just waiting to spill the tears that had gathered there. The corners of his mouth were turned down in a frown as he sighed quietly. His whole body screamed failure and defeat when he whispered. _“I know.”_

 

And then Severus looked up and suddenly he didn’t see his memory self anymore. He was staring in the face of his father, the features screwed up in a vicious sneer, hate blazing in those onyx eyes. Severus felt as if the ground fell from under his feet.

The one thing he had always promised himself, that he swore he would never let happen, no matter how many dark lords he was forced to serve, no matter how messed up his life would become.

The one thing he always saw as his own, tiny, redeeming quality. That he would never allow himself to turn into the monster his father had been. That no matter how many atrocities he was forced to commit under the Dark Lord’s reign, he would never let himself become an abuser.

 

Severus startled when his memory self shoved Potter out of the door. The sheer force of the push had the teen’s feet leaving the ground as he was propelled backwards. The door slammed closed, robbing him of the sight of the falling Potter, yet Severus could hear a blunt thud.

He was standing there, staring at the polished wood with unseeing eyes. He was barely aware of Albus tugging him along and exiting the pensieve.

As soon as there was a couch under him, he jumped to his feet and raced to the bathroom, reaching the loo just in time as he violently threw up. Leaning on the sink heavily, Severus picked himself up with great difficulty. He rinsed his mouth and downed half a vial of anti-nausea potion, all the while staring at his mirror reflection.

The man in the mirror was sickly pale, his features harsh and screwed up in a painful grimace. Splashing some water on his face, Severus tried to compose himself. He was finished, his life over and he had no one else to blame but himself. He has harmed a student, caused him a severe injury. He was just as bad as his father..

Throwing a last self-loathing look at his reflection, Severus exited the bathroom.

 

“Feeling better?” Albus asked.

The potions master stood in front of him with slumped shoulders, reminding Albus of the time Severus came to him pleading to save Lily Potter’s life.

“Call the aurors, Albus. And you should find someone to take over my classes permanently, I don’t expect ever getting out of Azkaban after this.” Severus handed Albus his wand.

 

The headmaster waved him away. “I am not calling the aurors just yet, Severus. We will wait until I can talk to Harry, hear his side of the story.” Albus regarded him with sad eyes, the ever-present twinkle obviously missing.

“What side of the story?” Severus stared at him in disbelief. “You saw what happened, I manhandled the boy! I nearly killed him!” He sank down in the nearest chair when his knees gave out. “I nearly killed Lily’s son.” He whispered brokenly.

 

“I’m not saying you aren’t guilty, Severus. What you did will have repercussions. You will be placed on probation and I will draw up a set of rules you will have to rigorously follow. But until I spoke to Harry and find out what he wants, I will not report this incident to the Ministry. For now, it is still a matter of Hogwarts and its internal policy.” Said Albus sternly.

“You may as well call them now. There is no way Potter will agree with letting me get away with attacking him. This is his ultimate chance for revenge, he would be a fool to waste it.” Severus bowed his head, eyes closing in defeat. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically wrung out. Self-loathing was not an unknown emotion to the black haired potions master but realizing he had turned into his father was the final blow. He couldn’t pretend even to himself that Potter was at fault. He clashed with the boy often enough to be able to control himself. He was the adult, for Merlin’s sake! What Severus had done was unforgivable. Being the ultimate Slytherin, the thought of self-preservation was never far from his mind. However, in this case, Severus would plead guilty at all times.

 

A gentle hand touched the top of his head. “I have told you many times Harry may surprise you if you only gave him a chance. He has the kindest and most forgiving character, he is fiercely loyal and beyond selfless.”

Severus clenched his fists, head shaking angrily from side to side. “I don’t deserve forgiveness!” He exclaimed. “I have sworn to protect Potter, from the Dark Lord, from the Death Eaters, from any harm! Clearly, he also needs to be protected from me!”

 

Sighing wearily, Albus stepped to the fireplace. “Be that as it may, the fact remains I need you to remain a spy for the Light Side, Severus. Harry needs you to remain a spy. If you wish to repent your sins, this is the best way to start. If you’re locked up in Azkaban, Voldemort will find a way to kill you. On that note, you should report to him soon, before he hears from others what has transpired here today.”

Gone was the gentle headmaster. In the moments like these Severus understood why Albus Dumbledore was the feared leader of the Light. His piercing eyes were made of blue steel, making an impression of seeing straight through one’s soul. His voice strong and confident, leaving no doubts the headmaster was a man of a great power and was not afraid to use it.

 

Severus stood up, his expression closed off. “I will leave immediately.” He summoned the white death eater mask and donned his long black cloak. _‘Perhaps the Dark Lord will be merciful and Avada Kedavra me quickly.’_ He didn’t say aloud.

“Severus.” The headmaster seemed to have guessed what he was thinking. “Be safe. Convince him you slipped up but still have my trust. We will talk more when you return.”

Severus inclined his head but didn’t respond. He waited for Albus to floo to the hospital wing and then briskly walked to the door.

Closing his eyes, he made sure all his emotions were securely tucked away behind the occlumency shields. He opened the door and stumbled suddenly as a vision of Harry Potter, deathly pale and lying in a pool of blood, hit him like a stampeding hippogriff.

“Monster.” He whispered. “I’m a monster.”

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Albus has flooed straight to Poppy Pomfrey’s quarters and headed to the door which connected her office to the hospital wing. Another door led to the mediwitch’s personal rooms, she was never far away from her patients.

The hospital wing, seeing as this was the first night of a new school year, was empty but for one patient.

Harry Potter lay in his ‘regular’ bed, the one he often occupied while in here. Poppy was bustling around him, setting up monitoring charms and alarms. Minerva sat on a visitor’s chair on the far end of Harry’s bed, dabbing her eyes with a small tartan handkerchief from time to time.

 

“How is he, Poppy?” Asked Albus as he came closer.

The mediwitch looked up and lowered her wand. “He is stable for now. I put him in magically induced healing coma that helps keep the swelling of his brain to a minimum. I am hoping this will prevent further brain damage. At this point, it is too soon to tell if or how much damage has already occurred.” She explained, her tone strictly professional and emotionless.

 

Albus nodded and silently prayed to all the deities out there that Harry would recover without any negative effects. He cared for the messy haired teen and had they lived in a different kind of world, he would have happily adopted him as his grandson. However, a war was coming quickly and Albus was nothing if not a master tactician. He had to set his personal feelings aside and look at the big picture. Sometimes, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

“How long until you can tell for sure?” He asked.

“I set the healing coma for forty-eight hours. That should be enough time for the swelling to go down. Beyond that, we’ll just have to wait and see. The sooner he wakes up after that the better his chances of full recovery.” Replied Poppy. “Luckily, his skull was not fractured or he might’ve not survived. He is also at risk of developing pneumonia after lying on that freezing stone floor for so long, though the cold probably saved his life as it slowed down the bleeding. He’ll need blood replenishing potions around the clock.”

Poppy glanced at Minerva, a silent communication passing between them. Finally, she turned back to Albus. “Is Severus coming? I have a list of potions that must be brewed as soon as possible.”

 

The headmaster approached the occupied hospital bed, his light blue robes flowing around him like a river, rippling with each movement. “Severus is unavailable at the moment. I’ll make sure he’ll get the list and the potions are ready tomorrow.” He answered, lifting his hand to gently pet Harry’s head.

Minerva frowned. “Albus, what happened tonight? Did Severus… is he responsible for Mr Potter’s injury?”

“It is too soon to reach a conclusion on this matter. I will speak to Harry when he wakes up and then we’ll know more.” The headmaster spoke softly as if not to disturb the sleeping boy.

“Do you think someone else might be involved? Some student? What did Severus tell you?” Asked Minerva with a suspicious look on her face. Something wasn’t right, she felt. Well, apart from the fact that one of her favourite students was lying in hospital unconscious. She knew Albus had a tendency of hushing things up when it suited his plans. Though she couldn’t fathom why he’d want to stall an investigation of this unfortunate incident.

 

Albus turned around and looked at her with sorrowful eyes. “At this point, I cannot say anything else. Severus had an urgent matter to attend to but as soon as he returns I will speak to him. I suggest we all retire for the night, the classes start early after all. I will address the students in the morning and inform them Harry has had an accident. Minerva, perhaps you should speak to Ms Granger and Mr Weasley before they come down to breakfast, they may want to visit Harry before their classes.”

Moving towards the exit, he paused to pat Minerva’s arm consolingly and then approached the mediwitch. “Let me know immediately if there is any change in Harry’s condition, please.”

When Poppy nodded her head in confirmation, Albus wished the women good night and left.

 

“I don’t like this.” Said Minerva. “He’s definitely keeping something from us.”

“I know.” The mediwitch checked on Harry one more time and then led Minerva to her office. “Did you notice how strangely had Severus reacted? He just stood there, like a statue. Not a word left his mouth and he usually comments on everything.”

“It _was_ a rather shocking sight.” Replied Minerva. “I almost fainted when I saw that poor boy lying there. So much blood everywhere…” She shuddered and wiped her eyes.

“That’s true.” Conceded Poppy. “Though you would think Severus is used to such horrors, what with his ‘other’ occupation.” She said, hinting at the potions master’s spying activities.

“I don’t think one gets used to something like that. Not unless one has at least some conscience left.” The deputy headmistress shook her head sadly and scooped up a handful of floo powder. “Good night, Poppy. I will come check on Harry tomorrow. Poor boy, trouble just seems to follow him everywhere, doesn’t it?”

“Good night, Minnie. I’ll let you know if something happens.” Poppy waved her friend away and with a troubled mind retired as well.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

**The Riddle Manor, Little** **Hangleton**

 

 

Severus has apparated as soon as he left the Hogwarts wards. Landing on the edge of the Riddle property, he pressed his wand against the dark mark on his forearm, hissing at the unpleasant feeling.

He felt the Dark Lord’s wards accept him and promptly started walking towards the house. The Dark Lord would know by now that Severus has arrived and would be expecting him. For his own safety, Severus knew he shouldn’t keep him waiting too long.

 

“Severus.” Voldemort was sitting in a comfortable armchair in front of a large fireplace. “What an unexpected surprise.”

The dark-haired potions master fell to his knees instantly, head bowed down to show his subordination. “My Lord.”

He heard a rustling of cloth and realized the Dark Lord stood from his chair and was now coming closer. Severus didn’t move, concentrating hard to keep his occlumency shields intact, he waited for his ‘master’ to speak.

 

“What happened?” The Dark Lord’s voice was soft and high-pitched yet deeply threatening.

“There’s been an incident, my Lord.” Severus replied, already bracing himself for a dose of cruciatus he was sure to receive. “Harry Potter has been injured.”

Strong fingers grabbed his hair and harshly yanked his head backwards. Severus was staring in the blood red eyes and knew what was coming even before he heard a soft whisper.

“Legilimens.”

 

He felt the Dark Lord’s probing at his mind shields, carefully lowering one to let the other man watch an edited version of last night’s events. He watched his argument with Potter, the memory of mentioning occlumency deliberately replaced with remedial potions. The conversation with Albus, narrowed down to the warning of repercussions and Severus being put on probation. The sight of Potter, lying in a pool of his own blood.

 

Severus cried out when Voldemort exited his mind none too gently, only to be hit with a cruciatus curse straight away.

“You fool!” Hissed Voldemort, lifting the curse for a few seconds and then casting it again at regular intervals, filling the pauses with talking. “Your position at Hogwarts is paramount to our success! I need to know the old man’s plans and I need an insider when the time comes for me to take Hogwarts! You will return to the school and renew your position of a trusted member of staff or your life is forfeit.”

 

The snake-faced man stood above Severus, who, at this point, was lying on the polished wooden floor. His whole body was shaking with the aftershocks of the many crucios he had to endure.

Pushing himself up a little bit, the potions master crawled forward to kiss the hem of the Dark Lord’s robe. “It will be as you wish, my Lord. I will not fail you again.” He wheezed with difficulty.

Voldemort twirled the wand in his hand. “See that you don’t! And Severus?” The Dark Lord stepped back and slowly walked towards the door, pausing and adding, almost as an afterthought.

“Harry Potter is mine, his life _and_ his death belong to me and me only! You’ll do best to remember that!”

 

Severus’s answer, _Yes, my Lord_ , was lost in his screams as a cold voice resonated through the room.

 

“Crucio!”

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

It was well past 2 a.m. when Severus finally returned to Hogwarts. His whole body was aching, the multiple cruciatus curses essentially frying his nerves, left him feeling as if he’d been hit by a lightning several times.

He dragged himself back to his chambers, thankful for the fact that the students were asleep and didn’t witness his weakened state. He knew he had to go see Albus before he could fall to his bed and try to catch at least a few hours of sleep. But first, he was in dire need of an anti-cruciatus potion, one of his own inventions made necessary by the Dark Lord’s favourite past time.

Once he drank the potion and got rid of the black cloak, Severus moved to the fireplace. His hands still shook when he reached for the floo powder.

 

“Severus!” The headmaster, already dressed in a nightshirt with a purple dressing gown thrown over it, was waiting for him in his office. “How did it go? Are you hurt?”

The potions master exited the fireplace carefully, mindful of his still aching limbs. “The Dark Lord was not pleased with me.” Replied Severus. “He instructed me to find my way back to your good graces.”

Albus nodded, pleased with the outcome. “And your punishment?” He inquired, though he already suspected the answer. Severus has often returned from Voldemort’s summons in pain.

“The usual.” Responded the black haired man. “I deserved much worse.”

He stiffly sat down next to the headmaster’s desk, making sure his back didn’t touch the chair.

 

Albus regarded him with a thoughtful expression. “Is there a valid reason why you treated Harry in such a harsh manner?” He finally asked.

Staring at the far wall with a blank expression on his face, Severus gently shook his head. When he next spoke, he sounded detached, his emotions hidden away. “Lily’s friendship was one of my most treasured, cherished possessions all throughout my childhood. She was my refuge from an abusing father, from a mother I started to resent because she had the means to protect us yet she let the abuse continue. Lily has kept me sane, only when I lost her had I realized how much that was true. Then there was Potter and the rest of the Marauders. They could get away with anything, pranks, bullying, virtually with murder and you just let them!”

Albus tried to interrupt him but Severus pressed on.

“When Lucius Malfoy approached me with an invitation from the Dark Lord, I didn’t think twice before accepting it. He seemed to offer everything I longed for, respect for my abilities, power, fame, acceptance…” Severus rigidly turned to face the headmaster. “Then I overheard the prophecy and made the biggest mistake of my life. I painted a target on Lily’s head. It didn’t matter the Dark Lord only wanted her child, I knew Lily would never relinquish her baby without a fight. I endeavoured to save her in any way I could. I grovelled at the Dark Lord’s feet, begging him to spare Lily’s life for me. I came to you, risking to be shipped straight to Azkaban if only Lily would be safe. It was all in vain.”

The potions master’s eyes flashed with a sudden emotion. “Lily was dead yet the child survived. Without the child there would be no prophecy and my friend would be alive. Still, the child was also part Lily’s, the smallest part of her that lived on and I have vowed to protect it. I have kept my word even though the boy was a Potter through and through. A miniature of my childhood tormentor was once again running through the halls of Hogwarts, getting away with trouble just like his father. Can you blame me for being bitter?”

 

“Harry is not James, Severus.” Albus peered at the younger man from above his half-moon spectacles. “In fact, you and Harry are more alike than you think.”

Severus scoffed, his face set in a deep scowl. “I am nothing like Potter!” He bit out. “Either of them.” He added in a softer tone.

The headmaster just shook his head sadly at the stubborn man in front of him. “You’ve realized Harry is different, haven’t you? When we watched your memory.”

Severus flinched as if slapped. He could feel a dark emotion leaking from under his occlumency shields, biting into his heart as a ravenous creature and leaving only bleeding holes behind.

“I have realized _I am_ different.” He replied in a pained voice. “I have become someone I hated my whole life.” Severus looked down at his clenched fists, the knuckles white and nails digging into his palms.

“You have lost control.” Said Albus. “That doesn’t make you the same man your father had been.” He continued, knowing all too well what Severus had implied.

“That is of little consolation, Headmaster.”

 

Albus stood from his chair and walked around the desk, stopping in front of his resident potions master. “Then consider this, Severus. I will give you ample opportunity to right your wrongs. Seize this chance and prove to me and most importantly to yourself that you are in fact a better man.”

Severus inclined his head and looked up. “What can be done to remedy my atrocious behaviour? As I already told you, Albus, Potter will not stand idly by and let me walk away unpunished.”

“Let me deal with Harry.” Albus replied. “First we must set up the rules of your probation.”

He walked to a low bookcase tucked under the window and pulled out a large tome. “There’s an old spell I would like to cast on you. It is partly a monitoring spell, letting me know your location within this castle at all times. The second part is a guarding spell, alerting you whenever you are in danger of losing control.”

“Alerting, how?” Asked Severus haltingly.

The headmaster considered glossing over the spell’s effects but he knew Severus would not be satisfied with a vague answer. “It will cause you a considerable amount of pain, essentially rendering you useless.”

“I see.” Severus contemplated the pro’s and con’s of such a spell but in the end understood he didn’t really have much of a choice anyway. Still, he needed to know more. “You indicated the spell will monitor my movements within Hogwarts. Does that mean it will not be active outside of the castle?”

“That is correct.” Albus browsed through the ancient tome, looking for the right page. “Ah, here it is. This particular spell is tied both to a person and to a place. That means as soon as you leave the Hogwarts wards, the spell will virtually disappear. When you return, it will activate again.”

Severus nodded but frowned. “What about detection? Will the Dark Lord be able to recognize I am under the influence of this spell?”

“No. As I said, it will only reappear once you enter the castle’s wards again.” Albus lifted his wand with an asking expression.

“Very well.” Sighed the younger man.

 

The headmaster stood with the tome in one hand, his wand firmly grasped in the other one. He moved it in precise movements as illustrated in the book and cast the spell. “Vigilate custodi.”

A bright yellow light burst out of his wand and engulfed the potions master. Severus felt a burning sensation all over his body. Not painful per se, just mildly irritating. As suddenly as it has emerged, the light dissipated into a fine yellow mist that covered Severus from head to toe. A moment later it was gone.

“There, that’s taken care of.” Albus placed the book back on the bookshelf and returned to his chair. “Now for my other conditions. First of all, I want you to apologize to Harry and to accept his apology he had so graciously offered you.”

Severus sneered slightly but inclined his head in agreement.

“Good.” The headmaster continued. “Next I want you to resume Harry’s occlumency lessons.”

“Are you insane?” The dark-haired man jumped out of the chair, his aching limbs protesting the sudden movement. “The boy is in hospital because of me! He will never come near me again! For his own safety and my sanity, I beg of you, Albus, don’t ask this of me!”

 

Albus Dumbledore was generally a kind man. He believed in second chances and the greater good. He believed all people had some redeemable qualities if only were they given an opportunity to prove themselves. He was, however, also a stern man who followed through on his goals, willing to sacrifice an individual if it meant gaining an upper hand in the bigger picture. Therefore, he firmly answered. “I’m afraid these conditions are non-negotiable, Severus. You will resume the lessons and you will treat Harry with the utmost respect he deserves. If your teaching methods don’t engage the boy to your liking, change them! Harry needs to learn occlumency and you need to learn how to get along with him. The guarding spell will prevent you from causing him any more harm. However, adjusting your behaviour must be a conscious effort on your part.”

 

Severus was pacing around the room, his fists clenched again and his expression thunderous. How could he agree to this? Being forced to spend hours alone with Potter was a disaster waiting to happen! Even if he couldn’t hurt the boy physically, he could still rip his mind to pieces. Not that at the moment he consciously wanted to, but Potter has always gotten under his skin and brought out the worse responses from him.

 

He was suddenly reminded of Potter’s eyes, shining with tears as he hung his head and mumbled his agreement to Severus’s accusations. That was the first time Severus had really seen Harry. Not a miniature James Potter, not an arrogant Golden Boy of Gryffindor, not a Boy Who Lived. Just Harry. With big green eyes so like Lily’s yet still so different. A boy whose whole posture screamed _‘I’m a victim, please don’t hurt me!’_

Severus stopped pacing and closed his eyes. He needed to reevaluate all his preconceived notions about the boy. Clearly, not everything was as black and white as he had thought.

At last, he gazed at the headmaster. “Very well. As soon as the boy has recovered I will resume his lessons.”

“Splendid!” Albus clapped his hands as an exuberant five-year-old. Everything was working out just fine, he was sure Harry will not pose a problem. “Get some sleep, Severus. Oh, and Poppy needs these potions as soon as possible. If you would be so kind and brew them first thing in the morning, I would be most grateful.”

With these words and a list of potions, the headmaster waved Severus away. When Albus disappeared into his private chambers, Severus scanned the provided list and sighed. So much for catching a few hours of sleep, he would need to get started on some of these right away if they should be ready in time.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Harry is waking up!


	6. Chapter 6

 

Harry was floating. He was lying on a white fluffy cloud which was so soft Harry barely felt it under his body. A gentle breeze kept rocking his downy bed, lulling Harry to sleep. Sometimes he would awaken, only to nod off again.

A sound of thunder coming nearer woke him up next. His cloud shook suddenly and Harry grabbed the white fluff with both hands lest he’d fall off. The thunder was very close now, making Harry’s ears ring.

“Harry!”

“Madam Pomfrey, Madam Pomfrey! Harry is moving!”

“Harry, say something!”

“He can’t say anything, Ron. He’s still unconscious!”

“No, he’s not! I saw him move!”

“That doesn’t mean he’s awake, it could be a reflex!”

 

Harry wished the thunder would move on and stop shouting. Something pulled on his cloud, leaving Harry’s feet hanging from the edge. He tried to climb back on but the cloud was getting smaller and smaller by the minute! Desperately clinging to the last piece of fluff, Harry pulled his knees up.

He startled when a bright light blinded him unexpectedly, shocking him into releasing the hold on his cloud. He tried to grab it again but the cloud was already dissipating, the thick fluff turning into a milky fog. Harry panicked as he started falling, his arms and legs flailing helplessly. The thunder seemed to be following him and it was getting obnoxiously loud.

“Harry!”

“Mr Potter!”

“Mate, wake up!”

 

Opening his eyes abruptly, Harry stared at the white hospital ceiling. A bright light entered his vision and he squinted against it.

“Mr Potter, can you hear me?”

Harry recognized Madam Pomfrey’s voice. His eyes tried to find her, but his vision was too fuzzy without his glasses. “Mmm.” He mumbled.

He saw something white reach past him and all of a sudden he could see properly again, the familiar weight of spectacles touching his face. Madam Pomfrey pressed a glass of water against Harry’s parched lips. He drank it greedily, quenching his thirst, and slowly registered his two best friends.

 

Hermione and Ron were each standing on the opposite sides of Harry’s hospital bed, attentively following his every move. The bushy haired girl was clutching his hand, he realized suddenly. Harry thought she looked like she sometimes did in class when she knew the right answer, the only thing missing was her arm waving around, trying to get the teacher’s attention. He reckoned she was going to pop soon and indeed, Hermione couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“Harry, how are you feeling? What do you remember? Do you know where you are?” Firing her questions rapidly, she squeezed his hand.

Harry looked down at their clasped hands and then back at Hermione. “You broke my cloud.” He said.

Hermione’s expression turned to shocked and opposite her, Ron was gaping at Harry with an open mouth.

“He’s gone mental!” Exclaimed the red-head suddenly. Hermione’s outraged ‘Ronald!’ was lost in the sound of Harry’s giggles.

 

“Mr Potter?” Helping him sit up, Madame Pomfrey started casting diagnostic spells while watching her patient closely. “Do you remember how you got injured?”

“Umm, I hit my head?” Harry’s answer came out more like a question.

“Are you asking me or is that what you remember?” The mediwitch lit up her wand and checked Harry’s responses again by directing the light to first his right and then his left eye.

Blinking owlishly, Harry tried to clear the white spots that were impairing his vision. “I remember talking to Snape and then hitting my head when he threw me out.”

Harry ignored Hermione’s “Professor Snape, Harry.”

Gingerly touching the back of his head, he carefully examined his scalp. It was a bit tender, but Harry has had much worse. Uncle Vernon once slapped him so hard his head hit the stair bannister, giving Harry a scar that was thankfully hidden under his hair. That experience has taught him to move away from furniture whenever his uncle came close.

 

He was brought out of his musing by Madam Pomfrey’s voice.

“Ms Granger and Mr Weasley, both of you best hurry up to your classes, the lunch hour is almost over and I need to tend to my patient. You can visit Mr Potter later.”

Hermione hugged Harry carefully, quietly sniffling into his hair. “I’m so glad you’re awake, Harry. I was so worried!”

Harry awkwardly pat her back, her bushy mane tickling his face. “I’m ok, Hermione.” He said lamely.

“Come on, Mione. You don’t want to miss Transfiguration.” Ron gently pulled her away from Harry, grinning at the grateful look in his best friend’s eyes. “See you later, mate. We’ll come back before supper.”

“Bye.” Harry waved them away, thinking that he didn’t even have his class schedule yet. He wasn’t even sure what day it was.

 

Harry startled when Madam Pomfrey cast a refreshing and a cleansing charm on him. “I could’ve just taken a shower.” He grumbled.

Madam Pomfrey regarded him with a stern look on her face. “I have to go inform the headmaster that you are awake. You are not to leave the bed, is that clear young man?”

When Harry nodded, she continued. “Now, how are you feeling? Any nausea? Dizziness? Headache?”

“A little headache.” Answered Harry, accepting a vial of pain potion the mediwitch handed him immediately.

“Rest for a bit, I’m sure the headmaster will want to talk to you soon.” Harry watched Madam Pomfrey walk to her office and close the door behind her.

He settled back into his pillow, remembering dreaming about a fluffy cloud and how peaceful he had felt. He closed his eyes with a sigh, trying to recall the exact same feeling.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Severus was sitting in the Great Hall, trying to ignore the prattling teachers and pretending to eat the food in front of him. He was about to excuse himself when a silvery figure floated to the head table.

An elegant swan, swimming around the headmaster, bowed its head to relay the message. Severus recognized Poppy’s Patronus and leaned closer, eavesdropping.

_‘Harry is awake. He is coherent and reacts well.’_

Poppy’s voice was slightly distorted but the message was clear. Albus pushed away from the table immediately and beckoned Severus to follow.

 

Briskly walking through the almost empty halls, the majority of students was still having lunch after all, they made it to the hospital wing in record time.

Before entering through the double door, the headmaster stopped and turned to Severus.

“I would like to talk to Harry alone at first. You may wait inside, but don’t let Harry see you. I want him to be able to talk freely, without any outside _influence_.”

The infernal twinkle was back in the old man’s eyes and were Severus not feeling apprehensive about seeing Potter again, he would have been annoyed.

“Very well, I will remain hidden.”

“Excellent. Come along then.”

 

Albus led them inside, along the empty hospital beds to the other side of the room. Dividing screens were separating the last bed from the rest of the room, giving its occupant a sample of privacy.

Gesturing at a chair where Severus should sit, the headmaster walked further and soon disappeared behind the screens.

 

Severus felt restless. The past three days were horrendous, not only had the classes started again, leaving him dealing with all the dunderheads, he was also unable to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, an image of Potter, lying in a pool of blood, flashed through his mind. No matter how much he occluded, at the point of drifting off the image would pop back in his head.

Hearing Poppy’s Patronus announce the boy was awake and well, filled Severus with relief and dread in equal measure. Relief that he didn’t kill Potter, dread that Azkaban was looming over his head now more than ever.

 

He heard Poppy greet the headmaster and then excuse herself to her office.

Severus stopped pacing and sank into the appointed chair, reinforcing the occlumency shields to keep his emotions in check.

 

“Hello, Harry.” He heard Albus speak. “How are you feeling, my boy?”

Potter’s voice was barely audible and Severus had to strain his ears to catch all the words.

“Hello, Headmaster. I’m fine, just a little headache. Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion.”

“That’s good, good.” Severus imagined Albus nodding his head. “Harry, can you tell me what happened?”

 

Here it comes, thought Severus. Potter is going to accuse him of a murder attempt and insist Severus is locked in Azkaban for the rest of his life. And he couldn’t even oppose him because he knew Potter would be right.

“Umm, I talked to professor Snape and when he sent me away I slipped and hit my head, sir.”

 

Severus gawked at the screen that separated him from Albus and Potter as if he could see through it if he tried hard enough.

_'He slipped and hit his head?’_ Severus thought in disbelief. Is he perhaps suffering from amnesia? But then he wouldn’t remember the incident at all. The potions master was puzzled.

“Is that all that happened? Do not be afraid to tell me the whole truth, Harry. I have already spoken to professor Snape.” Albus’s voice was gentle and reassuring.

Severus almost missed Potter’s answer, his tone hushed and insecure.

“He’s mad at me, isn’t he? I tried to apologize to him but he didn’t believe me. And I made him angry when I asked for more occlumency lessons.”

“And what else?”

 

Getting up from the chair, Severus started pacing again. He was getting annoyed with Albus. Why didn’t the old fool reassure Potter that he wasn’t angry with him? Why would he let him believe he was the one who was in trouble? Severus concentrated his thoughts on being irritated with the headmaster rather than examine his suddenly chivalrous feelings towards Potter.

 

“Umm… he took twenty points from Gryffindor.” The boy answered after a slight pause.

“Harry?”

Severus couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer and cast a disillusionment charm on himself. He knew it wouldn’t fool Albus but he would remain invisible to Potter.

Stepping around the dividing screen, Severus took in the scene in front of him. Potter was sitting propped up on his bed, still a bit too pale but otherwise looking quite well. Albus has transfigured the visitor’s chair into a comfortable armchair and was gazing at the young Gryffindor, never letting on he has noticed the disillusioned potions master.

 

“Harry? Did professor Snape hurt you?” Albus has finally asked. The question they were dancing around all this time was out in the open at last.

“No!” Exclaimed Potter, a strange emotion flashing in those green eyes but Severus was too distracted by the boy’s answer to be able to identify it. “I shouted at him and made him angry, it was all my fault!”

Potter was looking at Albus with pleading eyes as if afraid the headmaster won’t believe him. Severus was frankly astonished. Of all the outcomes he would have expected, this scenario wasn’t amongst them. Observing the boy’s slumped shoulders, he wondered how he ever could have perceived Potter as arrogant. Short-tempered, yes, often letting anger get the better of himself. But arrogant?

 

Albus leaned over and patted Potter’s shoulder. “Nobody blames you, my boy. It was an unfortunate accident and I’m very happy you’re feeling better. I am sure professor Snape will come talk to you soon as well.”

Nostrils flaring in anger, Severus could barely restrain himself from shouting at Albus. Was the man completely insane? Even though he understood the headmaster was probably trying to save Severus’s hide and keep him out of Azkaban, downplaying the incident in such a manner was outright disgraceful.

Potter, however, appeared to be reassured and nodded his head gently, wincing as if the slight movement hurt his head.

Albus seemed to have noticed Potter’s pained expression, getting up and transfiguring the armchair back.

“Get some sleep, Harry. Don’t worry yourself about anything but your recovery. I’m sure with Ms Granger’s help you’ll catch up on your classes quickly and the rest will take care of itself, you see.” Smiling pleasantly, Albus patted the boy one last time and turned to leave, having the audacity to wink at Severus as he walked past him.

 

Severus ignored him. Instead, he contemplated Potter who took off his glasses and slid down on the bed, burrowing himself under the blanket. He looked so small, curled up into a tight little ball like that.

Severus sat down on the vacant chair, his mind whirling with thoughts as he watched the boy slumber.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the changing POV is not too confusing, I want to show how Severus or Harry react to certain situations.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, sweet comments and kudo's, you guys rock! ♥


	7. Chapter 7

 

Harry wasn’t dozing off for long before Madam Pomfrey returned, carrying a tray of food. She set it down on the bedside table and froze, staring strangely at the chair next to Harry’s bed.

Harry curiously glanced to his left, examining the chair, but he couldn’t see anything wrong with it. After a while, Madam Pomfrey blinked and turned to Harry.

“I’ve brought you some lunch, Mr Potter, try to eat at least half of it. Is the headache gone?” Propping a pillow behind Harry’s back to help him sit up straight, Madam Pomfrey made sure he was comfortable before placing the tray on his lap.

Harry eyed the bowl of chicken broth and two pieces of toast. It smelled delicious but he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to eat. His stomach was tight and he wasn’t hungry at all. After a whole summer with the Dursleys, where Harry was happy if he got to eat at least once a day, his body has adjusted to the lack of nourishment. It usually took him a few weeks after Hogwarts has started to reprogram his stomach to the regular intake of food.

Nevertheless, he picked up a spoon and slowly started eating. Pausing from time to time to calm his protesting belly, he managed to eat half of the broth.

Madam Pomfrey observed him closely, taking the tray away when she was sure he couldn’t eat anymore.

 

“Next time I want you to try to eat a bit more, Mr Potter.” She told him sternly. “Now, what about that headache?”

“It’s better.” Replied Harry dutifully.

“You are prone to experience headaches and dizziness while you recover. It is important you inform me when that happens.”

Harry nodded, knowing the mediwitch was serious. He had spent enough time in the hospital wing to recognize the hidden threat in her voice. If he didn’t behave, she would keep him here all the longer and Harry didn’t want that to happen.

With a last stern nod she left him alone and Harry dozed off again.

 

Next, he woke to the familiar sound of his friends’ bickering.

“I still say you shouldn’t have hexed him, Ron. Next time just ignore him.” Hermione’s reproachful voice came closer and Harry reached for his glasses.

“The git’s deserved it.” Came the answer from Ron.

Harry smiled at his two best friends as he sat up again. “Hi guys.”

“Hey Harry, feeling better?” Ron plopped down on the visitor’s chair and propped his feet up on Harry’s bed. Harry snickered at Hermione’s disgruntled expression as she eyed Ron, perching herself on the edge of the hospital bed.

“So Ron, who did you hex?” Asked Harry curiously.

“Malfoy.” The redhead's face conveyed the disgust he felt. “The ferret was yapping about how you were faking illness just to get more attention, how you were milking your fame now that people regarded you as their little hero again. Those were his words, not mine.”

“Oh.” Said Harry dismayed. “Hope you hexed him good.”

“I made his nose and ear hair grow at rapid speed.” Grinned Ron. “By the time he ran out of the Great hall, it was so long he was tripping over it!”

“Oh, brilliant! I wish I could’ve seen that!” Laughed Harry, conjuring an image of a hairy Malfoy in his head.

“It was stupid.” Said Hermione disapprovingly. “You lost Gryffindor fifteen points and you have a detention with professor Snape.”

“Nah, it was worth it.” Shrugged Ron still grinning.

 

“Harry?” Asked Hermione carefully after a while. “What exactly happened that night when you went to professor Snape?”

Harry looked down at his lap, avoiding eye contact. “I tried to tell him I was sorry about snooping around his pensieve, but he didn’t believe me.”

 

During the train ride to Hogwarts, Harry had finally confessed to his friends about watching the potions master’s memory he wasn’t meant to see, though he didn’t tell them what the memory was about. He also explained that was the main reason he was skipping occlumency lessons last year, making him an easy target to Voldemort’s machinations.

 

“What did he say?” Asked Hermione gently as if not to spook him.

“Compared me to my father, got annoyed with me… the usual. Then I asked for more lessons and he got furious. I shouted at him and he shoved me out of the door.” Harry’s voice was very matter-of-fact yet he felt his insides quiver nervously.

“He pushed you?” Gasped Hermione.

Ron put his feet down and leaned closer. “This is it, mate! We can use this to get rid of the slimy git once and for all! If you tell Dumbledore Snape physically attacked you, he will have no choice but to sack the git!”

Hermione was watching Harry tearfully, too shocked to react yet.

The messy haired boy looked up at his best friend, fidgeting with the blanket anxiously. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ron. I already spoke to Dumbledore and I’m happy enough I’m not in trouble for disrespecting a teacher. You know how Snape tries to get me expelled for every little thing, I’m not going to stir things up any more than necessary.”

Ron looked disappointed and groaned. “Noo, that means we are stuck with the git for two more years! Why did he have to change his requirements and accept Exceed Expectations students in his class this year? I thought I was safe, he usually only accepts Outstanding after the fifth year.”

 

Finally overcoming her shock, Hermione addressed the redhead first. “He had to accept EE students because otherwise there would be only three people attending this year. And I can’t see why you would complain about it when you need potions N.E.W.T. in order to be accepted into the Auror Programme.”

“Oh yeah.” Agreed Ron unhappily, mumbling under his breath about bloody slimy gits.

“And Harry.” Hermione turned to her other friend. “You really should talk to professor Dumbledore again. I’m sure he doesn’t condone physical violence against students. Or you could report it to the Ministry and they will start an investigation.”

Harry shook his head quickly, wincing a little at the stabbing pain in his temples. “I’m not going anywhere near the Ministry after they ignored me last year and sent Umbridge to Hogwarts. They nearly got me expelled and wanted to snap my wand!”

He rested his hand on Hermione’s, squeezing it gently. “Just leave it be, Mione. Please?”

“But Harry, you got really hurt! And…” Hermione looked distressed when Harry interrupted her.

“And it was my own fault! Yes, Snape pushed me but I provoked him, ok? If I just kept my mouth shut nothing would’ve happened.” Harry knew this was true, whenever he talked back to uncle Vernon, the stout man would slap him twice as hard.

Harry had no intention of angering Snape even more, especially when the man was willing to let the incident go. At least, he thought that was what Dumbledore had implied.

 

“Just leave him be, Mione.” Said Ron when he saw Hermione open her mouth to argue with Harry some more. “Here mate, we brought you some chocolate frogs. And a get well card from the Gryffindors.”

“Thanks, Ron.” Harry unpacked a chocolate frog and bit off its head, grateful for his friend’s ability to diffuse the tension.

Hermione didn’t look too happy but after a while joined their conversation, telling Harry about the classes he had missed and giving him homework.

Madam Pomfrey came to check on Harry later, bringing him dinner and another round of potions. Ron and Hermione stayed with him while he ate, the three of them and even Madam Pomfrey laughing when Ron’s stomach made gurgling noises.

Once Harry finished eating, Madam Pomfrey, ushering his friends out of the hospital wing, also left to attend dinner at the Great Hall.

 

Making himself comfortable, Harry picked up the Transfiguration homework and started to read. Five minutes later his eyes were already drooping and Harry scooted down on the bed, ready to doze off. However, very soon he became aware of an urgent need to pee. All the pumpkin juice he drank with dinner was taking its toll on Harry’s bladder.

Carefully sitting up, he let his feet fall over the edge of his bed until they touched the cold floor. A wave of dizziness hit him as soon as he stood up, blacking out his vision for a second.

Harry gripped the visitor’s chair for support, wondering if he could use it as a crutch. After a while, the dizziness subsided and Harry gingerly took a few steps towards the bathroom, pushing the chair in front of him. Forced to stop every time the dizziness threatened to overwhelm him, his progress was painstakingly slow.

At long last, he made it to the bathroom, his bladder thanking him for the much-needed relief.

 

Holding the door to support himself, he stepped back to the hospital ward only to collide with a black wall. Something gripped his forearms and Harry looked up with trepidation, finding two black eyes looking back at him.

“Professor!” Harry squeaked in surprise.

“Mr Potter. What are you doing out of bed?” Snape was watching him with a strangely neutral expression, which Harry found very unnerving.

“Umm, I had to use the bathroom. Sir.” Harry’s eyes darted up to the potions master’s face before going back to study the tiny buttons on Snape’s robe.

All of a sudden, Snape let go of his arms and stepped back. The unexpectedness of that action had Harry swaying on his feet, gripping the door behind him blindly as he got hit by another dizzy spell.

“You fool!” Exclaimed Snape, his voice annoyed. “You’re barely standing on your feet, you should not be traipsing around!”

He seized Harry’s forearms again and pulled him away from the door. Panicking slightly, Harry tried to stay as still as possible, not wanting to ignite the potions master’s ire any further.

He felt incredibly vulnerable. He didn’t have his wand with him, he could not run away even if he wanted to… he was completely at the mercy of a man who sent him flying to a wall the last time they met.

 

“Come on, Potter, back to bed.” Snape pulled Harry to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist, supporting his weight and guiding Harry across the room.

Harry didn’t dare to speak, sneaking a peek at the potions master’s face. The man was staring ahead, his expression void of any emotion.

Not paying enough attention to his feet, Harry tripped over his too-long pyjama trousers. Snape caught him with one hand, the other one still wrapped around Harry’s waist.

“Really Potter, it is a wonder you can fly so gracefully when on the ground you resemble a newly born foal.” He said snarkily.

Harry was too distracted by a large warm hand pressed against his chest to remember his vow to keep his mouth shut.

“Being thrown to a wall tends to mess with one’s coordination.” He blurted out sarcastically.

 

The potions master froze and Harry cringed, bracing himself for a blow. When it didn’t come, he cautiously peered at his professor. Snape was standing next to him, observing him with furrowed brows.

“Quite.” He said at last, motioning Harry to continue his journey to bed.

Confused with Snape’s mild demeanour, Harry obediently resumed walking. He was expecting the man to leave once Harry was safely ensconced in his bed.

But the potions master stood there, his robes tightly draped around him and arms folded across his chest. Like this, he truly resembled a great black bat with the wings folded around its body. Harry sat back and waited, not having a clue what Snape could want.

Another minute passed in complete silence and Harry began to fidget. Snape was watching him closely, his eyes falling on Harry’s hands which were pulling the blanket up to his chin.

 

“Mr Potter.” He spoke suddenly, startling the messy haired teen. “I want to offer you my sincere apology. My behaviour towards you was despicable and disgraceful. I make no excuses for my violent outburst and can only offer you my reassurance that it will not happen again.”

Harry was gaping at him in astonishment. Had he accidentally fallen into some alternate universe? Was somebody else here polyjuiced as the potions master?

He realized Snape was staring at him intently, waiting for a reply.

“Thank you.” Said Harry, his voice cracking.

He knew he probably looked silly holding the blanket in front of his chest like a shield but he couldn’t help himself. He was extremely unnerved by this version of Snape whose dark eyes followed Harry’s every move. Harry wondered if Snape’s eyes were black or dark brown. Or perhaps very dark grey? Black would suit him the best, decided Harry, what with the long black hair and black robes.

 

All of a sudden, Harry noticed Snape was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, something like an amusement flickering in his eyes. Harry looked down at his hands and blushed. Oh Merlin, he had been staring at Snape and contemplating his eyes! What was wrong with him?

“Mr Potter.” Harry glanced at the man when he spoke again. “I also wanted to inform you I accept your apology concerning the pensieve incident. As soon as you are released from the hospital wing we will reschedule and resume your occlumency lessons.”

Harry was gaping again. There was no way this was really happening. He was expecting Voldemort to walz in any moment, proclaiming his undying love for Dumbledore and asking Harry to be his best man.

“I trust that is acceptable?” Asked Snape when Harry took too long to answer.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” Harry murmured, his brain feeling too fuzzy to come up with a longer response.

Snape didn’t seem to mind, he nodded his head sharply and took a step back, ready to take his leave.

“Get some sleep, Mr Potter. You look rather… peaky.” With these words, he turned on his heel and stalked away from Harry, his robes billowing behind him like great black wings.

 

Harry had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t asleep. Staring at the place where the potions master stood just a moment ago, Harry wasn’t completely convinced he didn’t dream the whole thing. It had felt sort of real, but then so had his dream about a cloud.

Harry chuckled to himself as he suddenly imagined Snape sitting on a white fluffy cloud, a sour expression on his face and black wings sticking out of his back.

No, that wasn’t right, Snape was definitely not an angel.

But maybe, Harry mused, he wasn’t quite the devil either.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

Severus was sitting behind his office desk, marking the third year’s essays and bemoaning the fact he was stuck teaching such dunderheads. _‘Bezoar is a stonified heart of hippogriff.’_ How do they even come up with such nonsense?

His red-inked quill slashed through the absurd sentence with vengeance. _‘Mr Spencer, if you turn your homework in one more time without doing any actual research, I will personally force-feed your next potion concoction to your familiar.’_

Sighing tiredly, Severus stretched his arms and glanced at the clock.

 

He didn’t sleep well last night, with the threat of Potter and Azkaban hanging over his head. First, he worried Potter won’t wake up. Poppy has lifted the healing coma at midnight and they – Poppy, Albus, Minerva and Severus – sat with the boy for two hours yet he remained unconscious. Eventually, they had retired but Severus couldn’t sleep. What if the boy never wakes? What if he wakes up tomorrow and this is the last night Severus spends as a free man? The thoughts kept whirling in his head.

Thursday morning came and the boy’s condition remained unchanged, all the worry making Severus even more irritable than he normally was. His morning classes were horrible, he took points right and left, not even his Slytherins dared to push his limits.

At last, at lunch came his salvation. Potter was awake and didn’t blame Severus for his injury. And wasn’t that curious? Severus still couldn’t wrap his head around that revelation.

 

The potions master’s musings were interrupted by a loud banging on his office door. He picked up his wand with narrowed eyes and spelt the door open.

Ronald Weasley walked inside and stood in front of Severus defiantly, hands hidden in his trouser’s pockets.

“Mr Weasley, I don’t believe I have allowed you to enter.” Severus kept marking the essays, not looking at the sixth year Gryffindor beyond the initial glance.

“What? But you opened the door!” The redhead exclaimed.

Severus sneered at him. “Five points from Gryffindor for not addressing your teacher correctly. Another five for being disrespectful.”

Weasley’s face turned almost as red as his hair, giving the impression his whole head was on fire. He glared at Severus hatefully, apparently holding himself back from shouting at his professor.

“Anything you like to share, Mr Weasley?” Severus’s tone was deliciously venomous and he was enjoying the effect it had on the lanky boy. The redhead’s body went rigid with anger, yet he couldn’t stand the potions master’s piercing stare and bowed his head.

“No, sir.” He bit out through gritted teeth.

 

Severus revelled in these little victories. Putting the cocky Gryffindors in their place gave him a feeling of intense satisfaction. For seven years he’d been hunted by the Marauders and even though the two worst ones, Potter and Black, were now dead, he still felt entitled to take his revenge on the next generation.

 

“Very well, come with me.” Severus stalked out of his office, knowing the redhead would follow.

He led them through the dark dungeon’s corridor all the way to the potions classroom. Pointing at the pile of dirty cauldrons, he said. “For your detention, you will clean all of these. Without magic, Mr Weasley. You have two hours, if you’re not finished by then, you will return tomorrow evening. Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Mumbled the boy and walked to the sink, picking up the first cauldron.

 

Severus watched him for a while with a sneer before he turned to his desk. He has left the essays in his office but he didn’t feel like marking anymore. He’ll read through that drivel in the morning after he’s had at least three cups of coffee.

Sitting down, he pulled out his planner, trying to decide what days suited him the best for Potter’s renewed occlumency lessons. Minerva has provided him with a copy of the boy’s timetable and after careful consideration, he decided on Tuesday and Friday evening.

 

Thinking about Potter made him frown. The boy was an enigma, implying to the headmaster the incident was essentially his fault yet the comment he made to Severus, about being thrown to a wall, clearly showed Potter was very much aware of the fact that it was indeed Severus who caused him the injury.

And the way he reacted afterwards, cringing into himself as if expecting Severus would hit him. Yet the potions master didn’t get the impression Potter was actually afraid of him. He was certainly defiant enough in many of their confrontations.

Severus was puzzled. Clearly, he didn’t know the boy at all. All this time he treated him like a miniature James Potter, an arrogant, egoistic and spoilt brat. Yet Potter’s actions and behaviour that night and again today showed that he was nothing like his father. And that was a fact Severus was finding difficult to comprehend.

 

Casting a quick tempus charm, he stood up from his desk and addressed the lanky boy whose uniform was by now completely drenched in soapy water.

“Mr Weasley, your detention is over. Though it seems you have used more water on yourself than on the cauldrons. Next time you wish to bathe, do it in your own time. I will not tolerate such shenanigans during detention, understood?”

The redhead glared at him from under his wet fringe, wringing out the corner of his wet shirt above the sink. He picked up the school robe he’d thrown over the closest chair and hurried out of the classroom without a word. He was almost out of the door when Severus heard him mutter under his breath.

“At least I shower regularly, you slimy git!”

“I heard that, Mr Weasley! Ten points from Gryffindor!”

Severus smirked when Weasley looked back wide-eyed and rushed away quickly before Severus would take any more points.

 

 

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Harry was ready to climb the hospital walls. He was bored to tears! He had finished all the homework Hermione brought him, he had read three chapters ahead to be prepared for the upcoming lessons, he even wrote an extra-credit essay for professor Adams, the new DADA teacher.

His friends visited him whenever they could, but Harry was still stuck here alone most of the time.

 

It was now Sunday afternoon and he didn’t know how much of this boredom he could take.

Madam Pomfrey came out of her office just then, carrying a small leather pouch. “Mr Potter, how are you feeling? Any dizzy spells today?” She asked, casting the – by now well-known to Harry – diagnostic spell.

“I’m fine, Madam Pomfrey. No dizziness today.” Answered Harry a bit too cheerfully, trying to convince the mediwitch he was healthy again.

“Mmhmm.” Hummed Madam Pomfrey, concentrating on her wand. “You are recovering nicely but your body still needs more time to recuperate.”

Seeing Harry making a long face, she continued. “If I were to release you today, will you promise me to be especially careful? To report any major dizziness or headache? To return to the hospital wing immediately if you’re feeling faint?”

Harry sat up straight on his bed, nodding eagerly. “Yes, Madam Pomfrey, I promise!”

 

The mediwitch observed him sternly, then handed him the leather pouch. “These are mild pain potions you are allowed to take for the headaches. You must not ingest more than two of these within twenty-four hours, understood? If the headache doesn’t subside after this potion, you must come see me. Do you have any questions?”

Harry examined the pouch and counted ten vials filled with red pain potion. There were, however, also three vials filled with a potion Harry didn’t recognize.

“What are these for?” He asked curiously.

“Ah, that is a special version of the Dreamless Sleep Potion.” Answered Madam Pomfrey. “Professor Snape has kindly adjusted the existing formula to make it safe for your condition.”

Harry’s mouth popped open in astonishment. Snape had brewed these especially for him? “For me?” He murmured surprised.

“Yes, you had suffered a concussion and the regular Dreamless Sleep Potion could cause you a relapse.” Explained the mediwitch unnecessarily.

 

Harry understood why he wasn’t allowed to take the traditional potion. What he didn’t understand was why would Snape find the time to modify the potion especially for Harry. Sure, he brewed all the potions for the hospital wing but Dreamless Sleep was not a life-saving one. Harry could’ve gone without it until the time he was allowed to take the regular version.

“There are only three of them.” He said finally, looking up at Madam Pomfrey.

“Yes, professor Snape insisted you should only take these every other night. Should you need more, you’ll have to ask the professor yourself.”

Harry nodded at the mediwitch and scrambled out of bed when she held out a pile of Harry’s everyday clothes.

“Go on, then. I expect to see you back in three days for a checkup. Good day, Mr Potter.” After dismissing Harry, Madam Pomfrey returned to her office.

 

Harry quickly changed from his pyjamas, stuffed the school books, parchments and get well gifts to his backpack, looking around making sure he didn’t forget anything. At last, grabbing his wand and the potions pouch, Harry was ready to go.

Exiting the hospital wing, Harry felt exhilarated. He was finally free to go where he wanted!

Climbing the staircases towards the Gryffindor Tower, he waved in greeting when he spied Luna sitting in one of the windowsills. She waved at him dreamily, going back to braiding something that looked suspiciously like grass leaves.

 

When Harry finally reached the portrait of The Fat Lady, he was exhausted, his head throbbing painfully. Realizing he didn’t know the password, he knocked on the frame and hoped someone would hear him.

The Fat Lady watched him curiously, commenting idly on his messy hair.

All of a sudden the portrait swung open, revealing Ginny and Dean, holding hands and laughing happily.

“Harry! How are you?” Ginny stepped out and hugged Harry tightly.

“Hey, Harry. Welcome back.” Dean smiled at him and pulled his girlfriend back.

Harry grinned at them. “Hi Ginny, Dean. Thanks, I’m feeling better.”

The two lovebirds moved to the side to let Harry climb through the portrait opening.

“We’ll talk later, ok Harry? Oh, the password is Code of Chivalry. See ya!” Called Ginny after him as she dragged Dean away.

 

Harry entered the Gryffindor common room, scanning the place for his friends. Not many people were staying inside on a sunny Sunday afternoon, just a couple of first years who were all gaping at Harry.

He smiled at them and rolled his eyes when one of the girls squealed and promptly fell out of her chair.

Harry climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitory, finding it empty and deciding to take a quick nap. Kicking off his shoes, he downed one of the pain potions and lay down, closing his eyes.

As the headache eased up, Harry drifted off slowly, dreaming of the dark eyes that watched his every move.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Harry goes back to classes


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today (9th of January) we celebrate the birthday of our favourite potions master!
> 
> ♥ **HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEVERUS SNAPE!!! **♥****  
>  \--------------------------------------------------------
> 
> And now, the story continues...

 

 

 

On Monday morning, the sixth year’s boys dormitory resembled a war zone. After a leisurely weekend of staying up late and sleeping in the next day, the boys had trouble waking up. Stumbling to the bathroom, looking for their misplaced shoes and wayward ties or doing some last minute homework, it was a wonder they made it to breakfast in time.

 

Harry sat down next to Ron who immediately started piling an alarming amount of food on his plate. Harry grinned at Hermione, sitting across from him, as she fondly rolled her eyes at the redhead.

Not feeling very hungry but knowing he had to eat something, Harry grabbed a piece of toast and served himself a portion of scrambled eggs.

“Harry, have you read the notes on Amorentia I lent you? Professor Snape hinted it will be included in the end year’s exams.” Hermione asked, a potions book propped against her teacup.

“Yeah, I’ve read all your notes. Even the ones on History of Magic.” Replied Harry, earning himself an approving smile from the bushy-haired girl.

“Mate, have you really gone mental?” Exclaimed Ron, spraying the table with toast crumbles that flew out of his mouth. “What are you doing being all studious all of a sudden? You’re not turning into a second Hermione, are you?” The redhead looked horrified with that thought.

“No, mate.” Laughed Harry at his friend’s expression. “Just got really bored in the hospital wing.”

“Phew, you had me worried there for a minute. Don’t need another bookworm for a friend.” Ron said, stucking the proverbial foot in his mouth.

“Well then, Ronald, if being my friend is so terrible, perhaps you should find someone else who will check your homework and make sure you have it ready on time. I won’t bother anymore!” Hermione closed her book with a loud snap and stormed away from the table.

 

“Bollocks.” Swore Ron under his breath. “She’ll be mad at me for days! And we have double Potions first thing this morning, urgh.” He groaned pitifully.

“I know.” Agreed Harry sympathetically, looking up at the head table to see what mood was Snape in. He startled when he realized Snape was watching him this whole time, a cup of coffee in hand and an unreadable expression on his face. Harry blinked in surprise and turned back to Ron, feeling quite hot all of a sudden.

“You ok, mate?” Asked the redhead. “You look a bit flushed. Are you feeling dizzy?”

Warmed by his friend’s concern, Harry gulped down some pumpkin juice and shook his head. “No, I’m alright. Shall we go to Potions?”

“Yeah, we better. Don’t want to be late, Snape has already left.” Ron stood up and waited for Harry to join him.

“He has?” Harry was looking at the potions master’s empty seat with a strange churning in his stomach. He shouldn’t have eaten the eggs, he decided. That must be the reason he felt so weird all of a sudden.

 

The two friends made their way towards the dungeons, stopping in front of the potions classroom where the rest of their classmates were already waiting.

Even with the Exceed Expectations students now allowed to attend, the class was still quite small. Three Gryffindors, three Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff and two Slytherins were all that was left after the fifth year’s O.W.L.s.

Hermione was standing with the Ravenclaws, blatantly ignoring Ron and thus also not coming near Harry.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to show up. What’s the matter, Potty, trying to gain sympathy with a fake illness didn’t work?” Malfoy drawled as he stepped in front of Harry.

The other Slytherin, Zabini, watched him with a stoic expression but didn’t move from his place where he stood propped up against the classroom door.

“Shove off, Malfoy!” Said Ron angrily, taking a step closer.

“Ignore him, Ron.” Harry grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, not giving Malfoy the satisfaction of taking his bait.

“Listen to your boyfriend, Weasel, perhaps he’ll let you mount him if you behave.” Sneered Malfoy, making a crude gesture at the redhead.

 

Harry had to hold Ron back with both hands now as he was trying to charge at the blond Slytherin. Malfoy was laughing at them, taunting them and Harry was having a hard time keeping his friend detained.

Finally, Harry accidentally tripped Ron and as the lanky boy fell down, he pulled Harry with him. Harry landed on top of his friend, catching himself on his hands just before they bumped heads.

Groaning, Ron lay on his back, his hands coming up to steady Harry who ended up straddling him. “Are you ok? Did you hurt your head?”

Ron’s voice was truly worried and Harry felt incredibly thankful for having a friend like Ron. Sure, they fought from time to time and they’ve been through some rough times when they didn’t talk, but in the end, Harry knew they would die for each other. Suddenly feeling very emotional, Harry blinked at Ron with moist eyes. “I’m ok, are you hurt?”

Instead of Ron’s reply, a cold voice sounded from the classroom door. “What is going on here?”

 

Harry turned his head slowly, looking up into the potions master’s eyes. Snape was watching them with a murderous expression and Harry gulped quietly. The last thing he wanted was to anger Snape again, especially after their almost pleasant encounter in the hospital wing.

Before either of them could reply, Malfoy sauntered to his favourite teacher, smirking. “Potter and Weasley were intent on demonstrating their bedroom escapades, sir. I always knew Potty was a fairy.”

“Thank you for enlightening us, Mr Malfoy. Proceed to the classroom, all of you.” Snape stood by the classroom door like some black angel of vengeance, arms folded across his chest, lip curled in a half-sneer and eyes narrowed.

 

The Ravenclaws were the first to move, closely followed by the rest. Hermione paused in the doorway, looking back at Harry and Ron with a conflicted expression, but the potions master’s raised eyebrow had her hurry inside.

Soon, there were only the two best friends left. Harry pushed himself to his feet, extending a hand to Ron to help him up. After some stumbling, they were finally both upright.

Ron put his hand on Harry’s shoulder and leaning closer he whispered into his ear, not wanting their professor to overhear. “Don’t worry about what the ferret said, Harry. I’ll hex him for it later.”

Harry shook his head slightly. “It’s ok, Ron. Just let it go.”

He glanced at the potions master as they walked into the classroom, acutely aware of the man’s body almost blocking the doorway. Snape was scowling at Ron but his gaze flickered to Harry when the teen brushed past him. Their eyes met and Harry was surprised by the intense emotion he saw in there. For a moment, he could swear the potions master looked worried as his eyes scanned Harry’s face.

A blink of an eye later Snape was scowling again, closing the door with a bang and also stepping into the classroom.

Harry and Ron made their way to the front tables. The rest was already occupied and Harry could see Ron grimace at the thought of sitting so close to Snape for two hours.

Stalking past them, Snape’s billowing robes touched Harry’s legs with a soft caress, giving him goosebumps. Harry stumbled and fell into his chair, feeling flushed again.

Ignoring Malfoy’s snickers, he set up his potions kit and helped Ron with his cauldron. He was determinedly ignoring the dark eyes that were once again watching his every move, making his insides flutter in a way Harry has never experienced before.

 

 

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Severus was sitting behind his desk, watching Potter set up his cauldron.

 

When he went to let the students inside the classroom and heard a commotion, he had expected to see Malfoy and Potter locked in a duel.

He didn’t expect to find Potter and Weasley, down on the floor in an outright inappropriate position. Potter was sitting astride the redhead, his hands on the other boy’s chest and Weasley holding both of Potter’s thighs.

What Severus believed the most disturbing, was the fact that he had found Potter, dare he even think it, highly erotic like this. The boy’s flushed face, his robe hanging to the side, revealing the trousers stretched tightly over the taut buttocks…

Severus mentally berated himself, this was his student he was thinking about! A sixteen years old boy!

He had been furious, with himself and his suddenly awoken libido, with Potter for always inspiring the most intense emotions in Severus, with Weasley who had no right to touch Potter like that!

 

Severus was observing the messy haired teen who was now busying himself with helping the redhead.

 

He recalled Potter’s eyes when the boy walked past him, shining brightly and just too green. His face was flushed and Severus had surveyed him quickly, making sure the boy was not ill.

 

Severus was strangely irritated that Potter hasn’t looked at him since. He waved his wand and a list of ingredients appeared on the blackboard.

“Today you will attempt to brew a Draught of Living Death. Why must one proceed with extreme caution when brewing this potion?” Severus scanned the class imperiously, ignoring Granger’s waving hand and turned to Potter. “Mr Potter?”

Feeling immensely satisfied that the boy finally looked at him, Severus regarded the teen with a piercing stare.

“Umm, if not brewed correctly, the potion will send the drinker into a very deep sleep that can last indefinitely. Sir.” Potter answered, fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves the whole time he spoke but not breaking the eye-contact with Severus.

“That is correct.” Replied Severus. “And which potion has the power to reverse the effects of the draught?”

Severus kept staring into Potter’s eyes, the rest of the room seemingly disappearing from his vision.

“The Wiggenweld Potion, sir.”

Severus raised an eyebrow, impressed. The boy had apparently been studying, the Wiggenweld Potion wasn’t mentioned until the third chapter of his textbook. “And the main ingredient of the Wiggenweld Potion?” He asked, curious if Potter knew this answer as well.

“Salamander blood, sir.” Potter was looking at him expectantly as if waiting for the next question. The expression on his face was open, almost friendly and Severus was fascinated by the way Potter’s eyes lit up when he nodded his agreement to the boy’s answer.

“Correct again, Mr Potter. I see your stay in the hospital wing was spent productively.” Severus paused slightly and then added. “Ten points to Gryffindor.”

The boy’s mouth popped open and formed a perfect o. Severus smirked at him, amused.

 

When he noticed the rest of the class watching them with fascination, he arranged his features into a fierce scowl and barked out. “What are you waiting for? Get to work!”

The students scrambled to the storeroom to get their ingredients, the Ravenclaws already starting to brew before the rest of the class settled down.

Severus walked around the classroom, monitoring their progress and correcting the more dangerous mistakes. He noticed Potter was having trouble cutting up the sopophorous bean.

Severus stepped up to the boy from behind and leaned closer, whispering into his ear. “Crush the bean with your silver dagger, Mr Potter. The juices will be released more efficiently.”

Almost pressed against the boy’s back like this, Severus felt him shiver.

“Thank you, sir.” Potter murmured, picking up the dagger.

Severus moved away and saw the boy glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

There was no reason for Severus to feel giddy all of a sudden, he told himself. His changed perceptions of the messy haired teen were stirring all sorts of unknown emotions within him. He wasn’t sure it was a good thing.

 

When the double period ended, Severus collected samples of the brewed potions to mark them later. He stopped briefly at Potter’s table and muttered quietly so only the messy haired teen would hear him. “Mr Potter, stay behind for a moment.”

The boy looked at him bewildered but nodded in agreement. As Severus stepped back to his desk, he heard him talk to Weasley.

“You go on, Ron. I need to ask about the homework I missed last week.”

“But Harry, you’ve already done that homework.” Whined Weasley. “Don’t leave me alone with Hermione, she will be extra mad at me now because I nearly got you hurt again!”

“Sorry, Ron.” Potter patted the redhead on the shoulder. “Just wait for me outside, then. I’ll only be a minute.”

Weasley walked out of the door sullenly and Severus heard Malfoy calling out to him. “What’s the matter, Weasel? Doesn’t Potty put out?”

 

Severus waved his wand to shut and lock the door, throwing a silencing spell on it as well. He turned to Potter who was watching him curiously.

“Mr Potter, I have reviewed your schedule and decided to hold the occlumency lessons on Tuesday and Friday evening. I trust that is acceptable?”

Potter’s eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh, yes, sir. Tuesday and Friday are fine.”

“Good. I assume you remember the importance of clearing your mind every evening before you go to sleep?” Severus kept his expression solemn, hoping the boy will take his lessons seriously this time around.

“Yes, sir.” Potter nodded, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.

Severus brushed a wayward strand of hair behind his ear, smirking when he saw Potter’s eyes follow his hand. Realizing he got caught staring, Potter blushed and looked away.

“Very well. I will be expecting you tomorrow evening, eight o’clock sharp. You may leave now.” Severus waved his wand at the door again, unlocking it and lifting the silencing charm.

“Yes, sir.” Potter walked to the door, opening it slowly. He peered outside and then looked back over his shoulder at Severus. “Bye.” He said and darted away.

“Goodbye, Mr Potter.” Answered Severus thoughtfully, his mind filled with the images of the green-eyed teen.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

The rest of the Monday classes passed rather quickly for Harry. Having the same timetable as Ron, the two friends went everywhere together. This fact was not lost on Malfoy who kept taunting them about being boyfriends in a rather vulgar manner.

Harry was just trying to ignore him and distract Ron before the redhead got himself in trouble. Talking to Ron was a good distraction for Harry as well, as he had no time to think about his suddenly weird reactions to Snape. It didn’t help that people kept asking him if Snape really awarded him points during Potions.

Hermione was still not talking to Ron but she had hugged Harry, telling him how proud she was of him and encouraging him to study more because now he had a proof that it paid off. Harry hugged her back and promised to try, laughing when Ron mimicked stabbing a quill in his heart at Harry’s betrayal.

 

After dinner, Hermione left to the library and Harry went with Ron back to the common room, agreeing to play a game of chess before they would start on their homework.

The common room, however, was packed and the two friends decided to play the chess in their dormitory, sitting cross-legged across from each other on Ron’s bed.

“Shield your king, Harry, or I’ll win this in three moves.” Said Ron. He would often give Harry tips how to play but even then he’d still win. Harry let go of a pawn and moved one of his knights instead.

“Better.” Nodded Ron, carefully planning his next move.

“Hey, Ron? Can I ask you something?” Asked Harry hesitantly. Ever since this morning, he kept thinking about Malfoy’s taunts. He didn’t like the crude words Malfoy used, but they didn’t bother him half as much as Ron’s reaction to them did. He needed to know how his friend really felt about it.

“Mmm?” Hummed Ron, not looking up from the chessboard.

“Does it bother you that Malfoy thinks we are boyfriends?” Harry was idly playing with a loose thread of his sock.

“The ferret is out of his mind. As if I would ever look at a boy like that! I like girls, with their round hips and nice breasts and long hair… You know what I mean, right?” Ron was looking at Harry expectantly, waiting for his agreement.

“Umm, not really.” Harry swallowed nervously, not meeting Ron’s eyes.

“No? I thought you liked Cho last year?”

“Well, I did. But the kiss was weird and the date was just horrible. I haven’t really liked anybody since then. Definitely not any girl.” Harry glanced at his friend.

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right one. What’s your type?” Asked Ron, the chess game temporarily forgotten.

“Type?” Harry was stalling and he knew it.

“Yeah, tall, small, skinny, chubby, blond, brunette… Which one?”

“Umm, tall, slim, long black hair, dark eyes…” Said Harry.

“Yeah, that sounds like Cho. We’ll just find you another one that looks like that. How about that seventh year Hufflepuff, what’s her name… Andrewson, Anderson. Something like that.”

“I don’t think that would work.” Harry didn’t see how a date with some random girl could go much better than his disaster with Cho. “And anyway, it’s also about a personality, you know? We must have at least something in common, what would we talk about otherwise?”

“Who cares about personality… as long as she’ll let you snog her and stuff. You know?” Ron was waggling his eyebrows at Harry with a lewd smile.

Harry laughed at him. “Right, because that’s all that matters in a relationship.”

“Well, you don’t have to marry her! Just have some fun.” Ron snickered when Harry threw a pillow at his head.

 

“Anyway.” Harry was suddenly serious again, biting his lip. “I think Malfoy might be right about me.” He looked up at Ron, dreading his reaction and praying he was not about to lose his best friend.

Ron was watching him in shocked silence before he burst out laughing. He slumped sideways on the bed, howling with laughter and knocking over the chessboard.

Harry didn’t know if he should feel hurt or relieved. “What?” He asked.

Ron was trying to catch enough breath to be able to speak. “I’m… I’m… sorry… but… but…”

Harry was getting annoyed. “What!?”

The redhead finally composed himself enough to blurt out. “Harry the fairy!” He howled with laughter again, tears running down his face.

 

Harry got up from the bed and walked to the window. His eyes were stinging as he tried to suppress the sudden urge to cry. He didn’t know what he expected to happen but being laughed at by his best friend really hurt.

He didn’t notice the room has gone quiet until he felt Ron standing next to him.

The redhead put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Hey. I’m sorry I laughed.” When Harry just shrugged half-heartedly, he continued. “I wasn’t laughing at you but you have to admit it sounded funny.”

Ron turned him until they were standing face to face. “You’re like my little brother, Harry. I don’t care who you like as long as you are happy, ok?”

“You really mean that?” Harry hated how vulnerable he sounded.

“Yeah. You know Charlie is gay, too, right? I don’t have a problem with that. I mean, it would be a little weird if you fancied me because you’re like my family. And I like girls. And boobs. And…”

“Ok, ok, I get the picture.” Harry interrupted him, laughing. “I didn’t know about Charlie. And I don’t fancy you. I think of you as a family, too.”

Harry was grinning so widely his cheeks were beginning to hurt but he didn’t care. He was so happy Ron didn’t freak out about him liking boys!

Gay, he was gay. Harry hadn’t dared to say it out loud before now. He still hasn’t said it but now he at least admitted it to himself and to his best friend.

 

“Do you think Hermione will be ok with it?” Harry asked after a while.

“Ok with what?” Asked the girl herself as she just entered the boys’ dormitory.

“Umm.” Harry looked at Ron and when his friend nodded with a smile, he turned to Hermione. “I’m gay.”

The bushy-haired girl watched him expectantly. “Aaand?”

Harry glanced at Ron and then back at her. “And nothing. That’s it.”

“Oh.” Hermione sat down on Harry’s bed. “I already knew that.”

Harry looked at her perplexed. “You did? How? And why didn’t you tell me?”

She rolled her eyes at him, kicking off her shoes and lying down. “It was fairly obvious after your date with Cho last year. And I noticed you, unlike the other guys, didn’t gawk at Hannah’s breasts when her shirt got soaking wet and transparent in Herbology.” Hermione sent a pointed glare at Ron who had the decency to blush.

“Oh, ok then. Do you think everybody knows? I mean, Malfoy keeps saying things…” Harry wasn’t too worried about anybody else. As long as he had his best friends at his side, he didn’t care what the rest of the world thought anymore. Not after they shunned him last year, calling him a liar and mentally unstable, only to hail him as a hero now that they had a proof of Voldemort’s return.

“I don’t think so, Harry.” Said Hermione. “Malfoy is just trying to get under your skin. If you ignore him, he’ll find someone else to pester.”

Ron shook his head at her. “Wake up, Mione. Malfoy will never leave Harry alone, he’s obsessed with him! Hey, mate, maybe he fancies you!” He laughed at Harry’s grimace.

“Merlin, I hope not. I’d rather hide in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom until graduation than be anywhere near that ferret face.” Harry didn’t find Malfoy even remotely attractive.

 

No, when Harry heard the word attractive, he thought of black hair, dark eyes, tall, lean body, large hands yet slim fingers… unbidden, an image of Snape, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear, entered Harry’s mind.

Harry remembered how the man whispered in his ear. When Snape wasn’t being his usual nasty self, his voice was like a melted dark chocolate, wrapping around Harry in a sweet caress and making him shiver in anticipation.

What would it be like if that voice whispered endearments in Harry’s ears? To hear that voice moan in pleasure, to scream Harry’s name in the throes of passion?

Harry blushed when he realized he was getting aroused. He got horny thinking about Snape! Sitting down quickly, he hoped his friends didn’t notice his tented trousers.

After a while, Hermione talked the boys into doing their homework, efficiently distracting Harry from his problem.

 

Later that evening, laying in bed and trying to clear his mind, Harry was stuck in a vicious circle. He would try to empty his mind but after a while, he would catch himself thinking about something trivial. That would make him think about how angry Snape will be when Harry comes to his occlumency lesson unprepared. And thinking about Snape would bring back all the strange and arousing feelings about the man until Harry would berate himself and try to clear his mind again.

Suffice to say, Harry gave it up after his third try. He’d just have to hope Snape won’t flay him alive tomorrow.

Somehow, he finally managed to fall asleep, only to wake up halfway through the night to find his pyjama bottoms wet and sticky. Fumbling with his wand in the dark, he cast a cleansing charm over himself and lay back down.

He tried to remember his dream, fleeting images flickering through his mind. The long hair of his dream lover caressing Harry’s face when they kissed, strong hands touching him everywhere, a tall body covering Harry completely, making him feel safe and aroused at the same time, a velvet voice whispering in his ear…

Harry turned to his side and tried to fall asleep again, decidedly ignoring the fact that his dream lover looked a whole lot like a certain potions master.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts, Severus Snape couldn’t sleep.

He had spent that evening talking to Albus and the headmaster gave Severus some disturbing news.

Apparently, Albus has been looking for a ritual the Dark Lord could have used to ascertain his immortality. After many years of research, the headmaster has come to a conclusion that the Dark Lord had created certain dark objects that would bind him to the physical plane of existence.

Severus strongly suspected that Albus didn’t divulge the whole truth, but the man had hinted that all of these objects must be eliminated before the Dark Lord could be vanquished. The headmaster was in a process of tracking them down and had asked Severus for his assistance when the time came to destroy said objects.

 

In the meantime, he had impressed upon Severus, it was imperative that Harry Potter learns occlumency. The Dark Lord must not gain access to the boy’s mind again.

Severus lay in his bed, thinking about Potter’s occlumency lessons from last year. The boy resented him back then and he had treated him with an equal level of disdain.

However, their relationship seemed to be gradually transforming into something less volatile. Perhaps this time, Potter will actually make an effort to learn.

Severus closed his eyes and went through the exercises to clear his mind, trying to push the image of green eyes out of his head.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos ♥
> 
> Next chapter: Harry's first occlumency lesson


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

On Tuesday evening, Harry had to force himself to leave the warmth of the Gryffindor common room’s cosy fireplace. He waved goodbye to his friends and walked nervously the familiar path to dungeons.

It was almost eight o’clock and Harry hastened his steps, arriving at the potions master’s office just in time. He lifted his hand to knock on the door but hesitated as he was suddenly overcome with anxiety.

A little over a week ago, he was standing on the exact same spot, hoping Snape would hear him out. He ended up in the hospital wing instead.

Remembering the previous, horrible occlumency lessons only increased Harry’s apprehension.

 

Steeling himself, he finally knocked. The door swung open before his hand moved away, revealing the potions master’s office. Snape was sitting behind his desk, a quill in his hand.

“Come in, Mr Potter.” He said. “And sit down.” He pointed to a chair on the other side of the desk.

“Yes, sir.”

Harry shut the door and walked inside, watching his professor nervously. When Snape didn’t look up from his writing, Harry sat down, shuffling his feet.

Snape kept scribbling rather furiously, obviously too occupied to pay any attention to Harry. Harry didn’t mind, he was in no hurry to have his thoughts and memories invaded by the man.

 

After a while, Harry started to observe Snape, paying attention to every little detail. Snape’s face was not what one would call handsome. He had rather harsh features, sharp cheekbones, heavy eyebrows and a prominent nose that was a little crooked. It looked like it had been broken once and not healed properly. His eyes were very dark and though they were now downcast, Harry knew they could pierce him with a stare like no others.

Snape’s lips were quite thin and pursed in concentration and Harry wondered what would they look like curled up in a smile. The potions master’s black hair hung around his head in loose strands, looking more fine than greasy, Harry noticed.

Harry’s eyes moved down to examine Snape’s hands. They were quite large yet the long, thin fingers made them look elegant. Holding the quill gracefully, Snape’s hand resembled that of an artist, holding a brush and painting a masterpiece in sure, precise strokes.

Harry realized the quill had stopped moving and looked up. Snape was watching him with an intense stare, his eyebrows a little furrowed.

 

“Mr Potter.” He spoke suddenly, laying the quill down and steepling his fingers. “I trust you are prepared for today’s lesson. As you are already aware from your previous attempts, you must empty yourself of all emotion and make an actual effort to keep me from penetrating your mind.”

Harry gulped and nodded, already worried he was going to fail.

“Very well, prepare yourself!” Snape pointed his wand at Harry and before he could even blink, Snape cast the spell. “Legilimens.”

Harry immediately felt a foreign presence in his mind, gliding through his thoughts with ease. Images changing quickly, Harry hardly registered which memories was Snape viewing. Before he could even try to push him out, Snape has already left his mind.

The professor was glaring daggers, still pointing his wand at Harry. “Mr Potter, which part of clear your mind and attempt to prevent me from penetrating it do you not understand?”

“I… uh… I wasn’t ready, yet. Sir.” Muttered Harry, hoping his next try would be more successful.

His lip curling into a sneer, Snape lowered the wand holding hand. “Very well, Mr Potter. This is the last time I will warn you before I cast the spell. Prepare yourself!”

He waited for a moment and when Harry nodded his head, the potions master cast again. “Legilimens!”

 

The foreign presence was back in Harry’s mind and Snape now took his time to view the memories in greater detail. Harry tried to push him out but was momentarily distracted by the images in his head.

Harry’s first time on a broom, first time he caught the snitch, the first Weasley sweater he received from Ron’s mum, the first time he called Ron and Hermione his best friends… these were some of Harry’s innocent, happy memories and he couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic.

Harry winced when he felt a sharp tug as the potions master’s presence withdrew from his mind.

“Potter! You are not trying at all!” Hissed Snape, his teeth bare in a full-on sneer. “Again! Legilimens!”

 

He attacked Harry’s mind with vengeance now, reminding Harry of the occlumency lessons from last year. Digging through the teen’s less pleasant memories, he was obviously after something.

Harry saw himself running from Aunt Marge’s dogs, hiding from Dudley and his gang, he saw uncle Vernon slapping him and throwing him inside his cupboard… Really trying to push Snape out of his head, he imagined shoving the potions master with all his strength. It didn’t work.

The images kept coming, each more distressing than the last. Ginny, lying almost dead in the Chamber of Secrets, Arthur Weasley, almost dying after being attacked by Voldemort’s snake, Cedric, killed by Wormtail at the cemetery…

Harry wasn’t aware he was screaming now, begging Snape to stop. “Nooo, please, no! Stop it, please!”

At last, Snape had found what he was looking for. An image of Sirius, falling through the Veil. Snape was reviewing the memory, again and again, making Harry cry out in despair with each repeat.

 

At long last, Harry felt Snape’s presence leave his mind. He found himself kneeling on the floor, the chair he had been sitting in knocked over and pushed to the side. He was sobbing, tears running down his face after he was forced to relive his worst memory at least twenty times.

Snape was watching him with a disgusted sneer, his expression frighteningly similar to the one he wore just before he shoved Harry into a wall. He stood from his chair and prowled towards Harry, his voice menacing.

“You are wasting my time, Potter! Your mind is a jumble of thoughts, there is no order whatsoever! You have not been practising!” He was coming closer now, towering over still kneeling Harry.

 

Harry felt the same like he had at the beginning of summer, with all the horrible memories still fresh in his mind. He was feeling raw, bleeding on the inside, mourning the death of a man who genuinely loved him and regarded him as his own son.

Snape was not finished yet. “If you don’t learn how to shield your mind, the Dark Lord will rip it to pieces! You are still the same fool who lets his emotions get the better of himself! Just like Black, rushing into danger without a thought of the consequences!”

Harry couldn’t stand the verbal attack anymore, anger bubbling up inside him. At last, he exploded and started shouting. “I don’t know how to shield my mind, you never explained it to me! You never told me how to clear my mind, how to get rid of my emotions! I would gladly get rid of them, I don’t want to feel all this pain! But I don’t know how!” New tears were streaming down his face but he didn’t even notice.

 

Snape looked murderous, clenching his fists as if he wanted to strangle Harry. “Don’t you dare blame me for your failures, Potter! You are nothing but a lazy brat!”

He took a step closer and Harry got suddenly scared Snape was really going to hurt him. The teen scrambled backwards, falling on his bum and trying to scoot away from the furious potions master. This appeared to have angered the man even more and he took another step to follow.

“Potter! Don’t…” He barked at Harry but suddenly stopped, doubling over.

 

Harry watched wide-eyed as Snape’s face contorted with pain, his arms folded across his stomach, clutching at his sides. He staggered backwards, colliding with his desk and ending up on his side, half-lying and half-standing.

“Professor?” Harry asked, getting up from the floor and slowly walking towards the potions master. “Are you alright?”

Snape’s eyes were clenched shut, his face distorted into a grimace of pain and his teeth grinding together as if he was trying to prevent himself from screaming.

Harry wanted to help him, already forgetting Snape was being nasty to him just a moment ago, but he had no idea what to do. “Sir? Should I get someone? Or do you need a potion?”

The man wasn’t responding to Harry at all. Sweat was beginning to pour down his face, making the long hair stick to his cheeks.

Harry had just decided to get some help when the door opened, revealing the headmaster.

 

“Professor! Professor Snape suddenly collapsed!” Harry cried out, pointing at the potions master. Dumbledore looked around the office, gazing at the upturned chair thoughtfully.

He entered the room, stopping at Harry and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Harry, are you unharmed?” He asked, peering into the teen's eyes.

Harry looked at him confused. Over there was Snape, clearly in pain, and the headmaster was asking Harry if _he_ was unharmed?

“I’m fine, sir.” He said. “But professor Snape…”

Dumbledore interrupted him with a wave of his hand. “Professor Snape will be alright. I know precisely what’s wrong with him.” He put an arm around Harry’s shoulder and walked him slowly to the door. “Your lesson is over for today, Harry. Return to your dormitory. And no detours, please, hmm?”

Harry watched him bewildered but nodded in agreement when the headmaster clearly waited for his answer.

 

“Sir?” Harry turned at the door.

“Yes, Harry?”

“What is wrong with professor Snape?” Harry asked, his eyes not leaving the potions master slumped over his desk.

Dumbledore’s piercing blue eyes regarded Harry thoughtfully. “That is a very personal question, Harry. Perhaps you should ask professor Snape himself when he’s feeling better.”

Harry nodded, knowing better than to pry into his professor’s privacy. Especially after he already breached it once by invading his pensieve.

“Good night, professor.” He said and turned to leave.

“Good night, Harry. Sweet dreams.” Professor Dumbledore answered, closing the door behind him.

 

Harry was standing in the cold, dark dungeon’s corridor, staring at Snape’s door. He was utterly confused.

What had just happened? What was wrong with Snape? Why was the headmaster acting as if he was more worried about Harry than about the potions master who was clearly in pain?

And why was Harry worried about Snape? Seeing the man suffer so much made Harry feel terrible. He would rather stand the potions master’s nasty comments than watch him in pain again. And wasn’t that weird? Harry didn’t understand his own feelings anymore.

 

He pressed his ear against the door, holding his breath. He heard footsteps, going away from him and the sound of furniture being moved. Harry strained his ears and heard the headmaster speak, just before the silencing spell hit the door.

“Oh, Severus, Severus. What have you done now?”

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

Agony.

His whole body was on fire, his insides drenched in acid. His body was being ripped open by ravenous beasts, he was being hit by a thousand of crucios at once.

There was only one word that could describe how he felt. Agony.

He couldn’t see or hear anything, all he knew was this overwhelming and debilitating pain. His mind had shut down, his body lost in torment.

In his tortured state, Severus wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. It could have been days for all he knew.

 

Just as suddenly as the pain came, it had stopped. Severus found himself slumped over his desk, his whole body aching in the aftermath.

Albus was sitting in the chair that Potter had occupied during the occlumency lesson, watching him curiously.

Using the desk to support his unsteady legs, Severus walked around it and sat down on his chair. “Where is Potter?” He asked, his voice hoarse and quiet.

“I send him back to his dormitory.” Albus paused, then added with a twinkle in his eyes. “He was worried about you.”

Severus scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”

Grimacing, he opened a desk drawer and took out a vial of a mild pain potion he sometimes used for headaches. Downing the potion, he immediately felt the sore feeling in his muscles ease up.

 

“Well?” He asked when the headmaster didn’t speak.

“Well what, my boy?” Albus was gazing at him patiently as if humouring a child.

Severus scowled. “Aren’t you going to gloat? Your spell worked.”

Albus shook his head a little, not trying to hide his disappointment. “Of course not, my boy. I hate to see you in pain. But I’m indeed relieved the guarding spell works correctly. I have been alerted to your distress as I was the caster of the spell, though I must confess I didn’t expect for its effect to last that long. It looked very unpleasant.”

Closing his eyes and pressing two fingers against his temple, Severus said. “The pain was… excruciating. Unstoppable. Neverending…” He leaned back in his chair and continued after a slight pause. “The occlumency lesson was a disaster. Potter was not prepared, he has no mind defences whatsoever! It is no wonder the Dark Lord was able to manipulate his memories without difficulty.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Severus scoffed. “The brat was not even trying to keep me out, his mind is open to anyone with the least bit of skill in legilimency!”

Albus was gazing at him with a serene expression on his face, not making any attempt to interrupt Severus’s ramblings.

“And he had the audacity to blame me for his deficiency! Perhaps if he spent less time gallivanting with Weasley and invested more time in his studies, he might be more successful! But no, Mr Potter would rather entertain his paramour than prepare for his lessons.” Growling out his frustrations, Severus was working himself up into a right fit.

“And when I endeavoured to give him more incentive to keep me out of his mind, he had the nerve to shout at me!” Severus looked up when he noticed Albus had stood up and was coming closer.

 

The headmaster put a hand on Severus’s shoulder, peering intently into his eyes. “Severus.” He spoke in a serious voice. “The spell has activated for a reason. Admit it, you were losing control.”

“I was not…” Severus protested but stopped when Albus raised his eyebrows.

“Weren’t you?”

Breaking the eye-contact with Albus, Severus’s forehead furrowed in deep thought.

“It was not my intention to harm the boy. To try to hurt him. I was not aware of being that near of losing control. I don’t believe I would have harmed him physically… again.”

Squeezing his shoulder in compassion, Albus said. “The spell clearly reacted before any potentially harmful situation could occur. It is tied to your subconscious as well as conscious thoughts, so perhaps it recognized a similar pattern that resulted in a violent behaviour in the past.”

 

Severus tried to recall what had happened right before the pain rendered him useless. Entering the boy’s mind had been ridiculously easy, there were no barriers to speak of. Severus had barely surveyed Potter’s thoughts during his first attempt, but he had given the boy ample time to resist him the second time. Yet Potter’s feeble attempt to eject Severus from his mind was laughable.

Browsing the boy’s unpleasant memories, Severus was hoping to provoke him to try harder, but his effort had only resulted in Potter’s screaming. Even the memory of Black falling through the Veil wasn’t big enough incentive for the boy. Severus had replayed the memory over and over again yet Potter couldn’t keep him out.

When Severus finally released the boy’s mind, he was furious. He had expected Potter would try at least a little bit more than the previous year but it was all in vain. The boy had clearly no idea how to clear his mind and how to set up at least the basic mind barriers.

Severus had also been furious with himself because he had hoped their changing relationship would inspire Potter to take his lessons seriously. Clearly, Potter couldn’t be bothered…

 

Then he saw the boy, sobbing on the floor, and an old memory had been triggered.

Severus, fallen down after his father hit him repeatedly, trying to crawl away to avoid further blows. His father, yelling at him and calling him a sissy because a real man never cries…

When Potter fearfully scrambled away from him, Severus had snapped. He was NOT like his father! He tried to stop Potter, tried to tell him not to fear him but at that instant, he’d been hit by the most overwhelming pain.

 

“The guarding spell had reacted to the recollection of my father’s abuse. I was angered that Potter had acted precisely the same way I did when I was a child.” Said Severus after being lost in thought for a long time.

“Hmm.” Hummed Albus thoughtfully. “He was afraid of you?”

Severus exhaled noisily through his nose. “Yes. He fell on the floor while I performed legilimency on him, he was rather… distressed. When I moved closer, he backed away from me and I admit I have reacted poorly.” Looking up at Albus, Severus frowned.

“What did Potter tell you has happened here?”

The headmaster peered at him with a gentle smile. “Harry had informed me you had suddenly collapsed.”

“He didn’t say anything else? About the lesson itself?”

“No, he only wanted to know what was wrong with you. I could see he was worried.” Responded Albus, his eyes twinkling merrily.

 

“Worried.” Muttered Severus under his breath. The boy was beyond infuriating. One moment he drives Severus mad with neglecting his lesson preparation, the next he confuses the hell out of him by being so absurdly noble and selfless. What was it about Potter that made him so utterly fascinating to Severus?

Albus patted Severus on the shoulder. “Perhaps you should try a different approach to teaching occlumency, my boy. Don’t forget that not many people have a natural talent for this art form like you do. It is infinitely more difficult for someone who listens to his heart first and mind second, like Harry. He needs to learn how to reign in his emotions before he can even attempt to shield them and close them off.”

“Perhaps you are right.” Replied Severus thoughtfully.

 

Perhaps he had been going about this the wrong way. Attempting to provoke Potter to close his mind by invading his memories clearly didn’t work. Potter was too short-tempered, too Gryffindor to react positively to such method.

Severus had always thought Potter was just too lazy, not willing to even make an effort. But perhaps he was mistaken about this as well.

Yesterday’s Potions lesson was certainly pointing him in a different direction.

He recalled the boy’s eyes, sparkling happily when he impressed Severus with his answers. He had definitely appreciated Severus’s approval, welcomed it even.

His face was so easy to read and Severus had always scoffed at people who wore their hearts on their sleeves. Yet Potter’s reactions were extremely interesting, especially when he reacted to Severus in a positive manner.

He remembered the boy’s green eyes widen in a delighted surprise when he awarded him points. Severus smirked to himself. Watching Potter’s pretty pink mouth pop open in wonder has been the highlight of Severus’s day.

 

Another pat on his shoulder interrupted the potions master’s musings. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts, my boy. Please remember that Harry is not unwilling to learn, he just needs a different approach. He can learn a lot from you, Severus. And it is extremely important that he learns it well.” Gazing at him intently from above the half-moon spectacles, Albus suddenly smiled. “You can learn from him as well. Perhaps he can help you explore the hidden corners of your heart.”

Severus stared at him incredulously. “You have lost your marbles, Albus.”

The headmaster just chuckled and walked towards the door. “Good night, my boy.”

“Good night, Albus.”

 

When the door closed behind the headmaster, Severus slumped back in his chair. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples with both hands, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Tonight hasn’t gone as planned yet Severus has come to an important conclusion. He would have to consider a different technique to teach Potter occlumency, perhaps start by walking him through the basic relaxation and meditation exercises.

Once Potter has mastered the clearing of his mind, they could move to shielding it. Perhaps Severus could help the boy set up the barriers in his mind, but that technique required establishing a high level of trust between the teacher and the student. Sharing another’s mind, even temporarily, was a remarkably intimate experience.

 

Severus stood from his chair, stretching his limbs and registering the lingering soreness. Albus’s guarding spell had definitely been effective, he couldn’t have harmed Potter even if he wanted to.

But he didn’t wish to see him hurt. Seeing those green eyes filled with tears had had a peculiar effect on Severus, twisting his insides in a rather painful way.

Severus locked his office door and walked to his private chambers. Feeling too tired to even contemplate reading the newest potions journal, he stripped out of his clothes, pulled on his nightshirt and after a brief visit to the bathroom he climbed into bed.

Relaxing his body, he started to sort through his memories of that day, examining them carefully. Once they were all organized to his liking, Severus proceeded to clear his mind and strengthen the occlumency shields.

Only then did he let himself slowly drift to sleep.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Up in the Gryffindor Tower of the Hogwarts castle, Harry was twisting and turning on his bed, caught up in a nightmare.

 

_He was running, as fast as he could, racing towards the screams that sounded through the forest. Harry avoided the trees, jumping over the fallen branches and ran towards a clearing he could already see in the distance._

_Just as he reached the open area, a cold, hissing voice greeted him. ‘You are too late, Harry Potter. You can’t save him anymore. You have failed.’_

_Voldemort was standing in front of Harry, shielding his view of the person lying on the ground._

_Suddenly Voldemort’s form shifted into uncle Vernon, angry and ruddy-faced, waving his clenched fists around and hitting Harry painfully. ‘I have warned you, boy! I will not tolerate your freakishness! I will end you just like the other one!’_

_Harry fell down next to the other body, suddenly staring into the empty eyes of Severus Snape. The potions master’s face was contorted in a painful grimace, his mouth a little bit open, but his eyes, his eyes were dead. He was dead._

_‘No.’ Whispered Harry. ‘No, it can’t be. No! No! Nooo!’_

 

“Nooo!!” Harry woke up with a scream, sitting up rapidly. He was panting, trying to catch his breath as he realized he just had a nightmare.

He could still recall Snape’s face, twisted in pain, just like it had been earlier that evening. Harry had felt so powerless, being unable to help him.

Lying back down, Harry was afraid to close his eyes, afraid he’d see the image of Snape’s dead face again.

Staring at the canopy of his four-poster bed, he was thinking about his professor. He was worried about Snape, what if Dumbledore wasn’t able to help him?

What if he’s still lying there, doubled over in pain? What if he’d die and Harry would never see him again?

His heart twinged painfully at that last thought.

 

Morning couldn’t come fast enough for Harry. He would not find any peace until he saw Snape again and reassured himself with his own eyes that his professor was alright.

Harry sighed when the tempus charm showed 2:45 a. m. This was going to be a long night.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

The next morning, Harry was showered and dressed even before the other boys started to stir in their beds.

Grabbing his backpack, he hurried downstairs. The common room was empty but the fireplaces were already lit up, courtesy of the house-elves.

Harry considered waiting for Hermione, as she was usually up quite early, but he felt too restless to sit around. The sooner he’d get to the Great Hall, the sooner he could make sure Snape was alright.

 

Hurrying through the castle, descending the stairs at a neck-breaking speed, he was unsurprisingly the first one to enter the Great Hall that morning. A house-elf cleaning the big fireplace squeaked in alarm, snapping its fingers to light the fire and vanishing with a loud pop.

Harry sat down at his usual place, waiting for the food to appear. Exactly at 7:30 a. m. the tables filled with bowls of porridge, mountains of toasts and different platters loaded with eggs, bacon, sausages, kippers and rolls. Various teapots were placed at each house table, as well as pitchers of milk and pumpkin juice.

 

Harry took a sip of pumpkin juice, too nervous to eat anything. He kept glancing at the door behind the head table, which the teachers usually used to enter the Great Hall.

Professors McGonagall and Sprout arrived first, closely followed by professor Dumbledore. The headmaster smiled and waved at Harry before sitting down to his breakfast.

The Great Hall was slowly filling with students, some of them greeting Harry as they passed by him.

Hermione has appeared as well, sitting down next to the green-eyed teen. “Good morning, Harry. You’re up early!” She smiled at him.

“Morning, Mione. I couldn’t sleep, I was… uh… hungry.” Answered Harry, still staring at the teachers’ door.

The girl pointedly looked at his empty plate. “Then why aren’t you eating anything?”

“Hmm?”

Hermione took his chin and turned his head towards her. “Look at me, Harry. What is going on?”

“Umm, I’m waiting for Snape.” Said Harry, his eyes glancing back at the head table.

“Why?” Asked the bushy-haired girl curiously.

“I want to know he’s ok, he collapsed yesterday during my ‘special lesson’.” Harry answered, whispering the last part.

Hermione’s eyes went wide. “Oh no! What happened?”

“I’m not sure, he was suddenly in a lot of pain. Professor Dumbledore showed up and said he was going to be alright but Snape was barely standing when I left.” Explained Harry in a hushed voice, not wanting anybody to overhear him.

Hermione peered at the head table as well, clearly watching the headmaster. “Professor Dumbledore doesn’t look worried. I’m sure professor Snape is fine.”

Harry shook his head in disagreement. “Then why isn’t he at breakfast? Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

“Not necessarily. Teachers are allowed to take some meals in their own quarters. He might be busy with something, maybe he’s brewing and can’t leave the potion unattended.” Said Hermione in her lecturing voice.

“Maybe…” Said Harry, not really believing her theory. He just wished Snape would show up, he didn’t like this uncertainty.

 

Luck was clearly not on Harry’s side that day.

After Ron joined them at breakfast and Harry filled him in on his occlumency lesson with Snape, the trio has gone to their classes.

They spent the morning in the greenhouses at Herbology, thanking Merlin Neville was in their group and knew how to handle the Venomous Tentacula. Ron was swearing the whole time as the plant took a liking to his red hair and kept trying to grab it with its mobile vines.

After Herbology they hurried to the Gryffindor Tower to clean themselves up and then went to lunch, which Harry spent barely eating, staring at the head table. Snape never showed up, proving, in Harry’s mind, his theory that the potions master was gravely ill.

When Hermione left to her Ancient Runes class, Ron has accompanied Harry to the hospital wing for his checkup.

Madame Pomfrey was pleased with Harry’s recovery but still refused to give him the permission to fly. Ron was grumbling under his breath that the Quidditch tryouts were starting on Saturday but Madam Pomfrey was adamant on keeping Harry grounded.

Harry wasn’t paying much attention to either of them, registering only the fact that the hospital wing was empty and thus if Snape was ill, he was probably in his quarters.

 

The boys spent the rest of the afternoon in the library doing their homework. Focusing on his Charms essay, Harry was able to distract himself for a few hours, only to go back to fretting as soon as they arrived at dinner.

Not having eaten properly the whole day, Harry was ravenous and practically devoured the shepherd’s pie that was put in front of him. When Snape again didn’t show up, Harry was so worried he was ready to march down to the dungeons and bang on the potions master’s door.

“Relax, mate, you’re going to hurt yourself if you keep this up.” Said Ron suddenly, taking a knife out of Harry’s hand.

Harry hasn’t even noticed he was tapping the knife against his leg in agitation. He looked at his best friend with a small smile. “Sorry.”

“What’s the matter, Harry? You’re not still worried about Snape, are you?” Asked Hermione.

“He hasn’t shown up the whole day! What if something’s wrong with him?” Harry was biting his lip anxiously.

“We are not so lucky.” Said Ron with his mouth full of chocolate cake. “The git will be taking points from us even at graduation.”

“Ron, for Merlin’s sake, don’t talk with your mouth full!” Exclaimed Hermione with a disgusted look on her face.

Harry has tuned them out as they started to bicker, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl when they all got up to leave. Hermione ran off to the library again and Harry and Ron followed her out at a slower pace.

 

They were accosted by Malfoy, flanked by his two goons Crabbe and Goyle, just outside of the Great Hall.

“Well, if it isn’t Potty and his boyfriend. What’s with the banana, Potter? Won’t Weasel let you practise on him?” Malfoy sneered at Harry.

Harry watched him confused. “What?”

Malfoy smirked and leaned closer, mock-whispering. “Blowjobs, Potty. Sucking cock.”

Harry felt himself blush furiously, completely embarrassed and Malfoy howled with laughter. Suddenly Ron put his arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“I’ll have you know Harry is excellent in everything, he doesn’t need to practise. You’re just jealous he is mine!”

Malfoy stopped laughing abruptly and sneered at Ron. Right at that moment, a cold voice behind Harry and Ron interrupted whatever had Malfoy wanted to say.

 

“Excuse me.”

Harry turned his head quickly, his face lighting up with a smile. “Professor Snape!”

Snape regarded him with cold eyes, his face an emotionless mask. “Mr Potter. You and your paramour,” He sneered at Ron, “are blocking the hallway.”

Harry’s smile fell from his face and he stuttered. “I…I…”

He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. He was extremely unsettled. The whole day he was hoping to see Snape and he felt immensely relieved that his professor was alright. But now he also felt strangely hurt that Snape treated him so hatefully again.

Ron pulled Harry closer to his chest, turning them both to leave enough room in the hallway for Snape to pass.

“Sorry, sir.” Said Ron, not sounding sorry at all.

The potions master glared at him coldly before stalking past them with his black robes billowing behind him. Harry watched him leave, an unpleasant feeling twisting in his stomach.

“Let’s go.” He said to Ron, sounding sad even to himself.

 

Ignoring Malfoy and his bodyguards, the two boys left the narrow corridor and started to climb the staircases towards the Gryffindor Tower.

“Don’t worry about the ferret face, Harry.” Said Ron after a while.

Harry looked up at his friend with a gentle smile. “I’m not, Ron. But thanks for sticking up for me, I appreciate it. I don’t think Malfoy expected that.” He chuckled quietly.

“No problem, mate. That’s what brothers are for.” The redhead pulled Harry closer, his arm still around the smaller teen’s shoulders, and ruffled his already messy hair.

“Hey!” Laughed Harry and patted his hair down, a wide grin on his face and a bubble of affection for his best friend swelling up inside him. He was grateful Ron always knew how to cheer him up, even if the redhead probably didn’t realize Harry was not upset because of Malfoy but for a whole other reason.

Not wanting to think about Snape anymore, Harry looked at the banana he still carried in his hand.

“I’ll never be able to eat these anymore without thinking about blowjobs.” He looked at Ron with an embarrassed smile.

Ron laughed, his blue eyes twinkling in a way that reminded Harry of Dumbledore. “You can always use them for practice, just like Malfoy suggested.” He raised his eyebrows, trying to keep a straight face.

“Umm, how would I even know if I’m doing it right?” Harry knew he was blushing again, his whole face felt incredibly hot.

“My guess would be, if you see teeth marks, you’re doing it wrong.” Ron was snickering like crazy when Harry half-heartedly elbowed him in the stomach, an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Right. I’ll just have an apple next time.” He said, preceding Ron to climb through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Severus was having a bad day.

 

First, he overslept and missed breakfast. Usually, he woke up promptly at 6:30 a. m., even before his alarm would go off. Or he would already be awake, not having gone to sleep at all.

Today, he hadn’t even heard the alarm and that was beyond peculiar as he was normally a very light sleeper.

 

The morning classes were a torture. He’s only had time to drink one cup of coffee and that was not nearly enough to prepare Severus for dealing with the dunderheads all day.

During his last morning class, a fourth year Ravenclaw panicked when her potion turned the wrong colour, throwing in an extra handful of chopped mandrake root. The resulting explosion has covered half the classroom with a purple slime.

Suffice to say, Severus has spent his lunch hour in the shower, trying to wash the slime out of his hair.

After a quick plate of sandwiches in his office, he hurried to the afternoon classes, his mood exceedingly worse.

Severus’s bad day has resulted in a record loss of points for all the houses, in total sixty-five from Gryffindor, forty-five from both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and even fifteen from Slytherin, when a first year didn’t pay attention and almost stirred the cauldron with his wand.

 

After the classes ended, Severus had decided to lock himself in his quarters, not wanting to see another living soul for at least twelve hours.

He had a house-elf bring him dinner and was just about to sit in his favourite armchair with a glass of scotch when he received a message from Albus, informing him about an emergency staff meeting in half an hour.

Stalking out of his rooms furiously, he took a shortcut that brought him to a narrow hallway outside of the Great Hall. He was just about to step out of the shadows when he recognized Potter and Weasley, standing very close to each other.

Suddenly Weasley put his arm around Potter’s shoulders and he heard him say. “I’ll have you know Harry is excellent in everything, he doesn’t need to practise. You’re just jealous he is mine!”

 

Severus observed them quietly, a strange emotion tightening his stomach when his eyes lingered on the arm around the messy-haired teen’s shoulders. Severus recalled the evening in the hospital wing, how pleasant it had felt to hold the boy around his slender waist, to feel his heartbeat under the palm of Severus’s hand when he touched the boy’s chest…

 

Shaking himself from his reveries, Severus stepped into the corridor, his face schooled into an emotionless mask. “Excuse me.”

Potter turned his head and his face lit up with the most beautiful smile. “Professor Snape!”

Only years of rigorous occlumency practice had stopped Severus from outwardly reacting, though his stomach fluttered nervously. Severus berated himself for feeling like a hormonal teenager, making sure his cold mask of indifference was firmly in place.

“Mr Potter, you and your paramour are blocking the hallway.” He said, sneering at Weasley who had the nerve to pull the smaller teen closer. It was completely inappropriate, displaying this kind of affection in public.

Severus glanced at Potter and saw the smile vanish from his face, only to be replaced with a kicked puppy look, the green eyes large and round, staring at Severus in confusion.

Severus’s insides twisted painfully at that look and he was gripped by a sudden urge to hug the boy. Which was utterly ridiculous because Severus never hugged people, ever!

He reinforced his occlumency shields, trying to push away the feeling of guilt for making Potter look so upset. Glaring at Weasley murderously, he stalked away from them, suddenly wishing he was allowed to hex students. His mouth twisted into a malicious smirk as he imagined the spells he would use on the Weasley boy.

 

Arriving at the staff room, Severus’s day went officially from bad to worse.

The emergency staff meeting turned out to be an impromptu birthday party for Rolanda Hooch. Albus stood in the middle of the room, handing out party hats and little whistles, throwing a handful of confetti over each person’s head.

Severus absolutely refused to wear a party hat and warned Albus to keep the whistles away from him unless the headmaster wished to have them inserted where the sun doesn’t shine.

During the whole party, Severus stood in the corner of the staff room, his arms folded across his chest. As soon as Albus waved the door open (which he locked right after Severus has arrived), the potions master stalked out of the room as if it was on fire.

 

Finally back at his quarters, he took off the long robe and sank into his armchair. Slowly sipping the scotch he closed his eyes and leaned back, ready for this horrid day to end.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for reading, commenting and kudos! ♥ ♥ ♥


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After having a bit of a writing crisis, I wrote the chapter, read it and found out I completely hate it.  
> So I had to delete most of it and rewrite the rest and it came out like this.  
> It's a short chapter but the next one will be extra long :)  
> Ok, enough of my ramblings and on with the story...

 

 

 

On Friday afternoon, Harry and Ron hurried to the Potions class, having spent their free period after lunch outside.

Harry was feeling apprehensive about seeing Snape again, he had tried very hard not to think about the potions master since their encounter in the hallway. However, his subconscious has clearly not received the message and Harry had spent every night dreaming about the lover that resembled the potions master so much.

 

Panting heavily from running, the boys reached the classroom just in time.

“Bollocks, we have to take the front table again.” Whispered Ron with a grimace on his face.

“Yeah, come on.” Harry pulled his best friend along, smiling at Hermione who was sitting in the second row.

Snape was watching them from behind his desk, waving his wand to close the door as soon as they sat down.

“As you are all aware, this is a N.E.W.T. level class and as such, you will dedicate your time and effort to brewing the most complex potions.” Said the professor.

“Starting next Monday, you will spend the coming weeks brewing the Polyjuice Potion. Your partner will be the person sitting next to you, there will be no changing tables for the rest of the year.”

 

Harry looked around but nobody seemed to be protesting this new arrangement.

Well, apart from Ron, who muttered under his breath. “Great, we’re stuck sitting in front of the greasy git for the rest of the year.”

“Shh.” Shushed him Harry when he saw Snape glaring at the redhead.

“Take out your parchments and quills and put away the books. I want at least a 2-foot essay on the Polyjuice Potion. Describe the brewing process, the use and effects of the potion, the possible dangers and so on. You may begin.” Snape stood up and started walking around the room, making sure nobody was cheating.

 

Harry was of course quite familiar with the Polyjuice Potion, having had brewed it together with Hermione and Ron in their second year. He could still remember the horrible taste and the weird sensations when he started to change.

Pulling the parchment closer, he began to work on his essay. Ron was writing furiously as well, probably describing the foul taste of Vincent Crabbe in vivid colours.

 

Harry was so immersed in his writing, he at first didn’t notice the shadow that had fallen over his desk. When something tickled his cheek, he brushed it away, only to feel it again.

Glancing to the side, he froze. Snape was standing behind his chair, a bit to the left, reading Harry’s parchment over his shoulder. He was leaning in slightly, his long hair tickling Harry’s cheek.

Not daring to move, Harry sat completely still. Thousands of butterflies were fluttering in his stomach and his arms were covered in goosebumps. Harry felt light-headed, almost dizzy and he realized he was holding his breath.

Breathing in deeply through his nose, he became aware of an unknown scent. It reminded him of dark chocolate, mixed with oranges and chilli. Slightly spicy yet sweet at the same time. It was Snape, Harry realized. He wanted to turn his head and bury it in the potions master’s robes.

“Very good, Mr Potter. Continue.” Snape suddenly muttered into Harry’s ear, his hot breath making the teen shiver.

Harry resumed writing with great difficulty, forcing himself to focus on his paper rather than on Snape who was still standing very close to Harry’s chair.

Harry’s hormones were running completely wild. The close proximity of the man, his intoxicating scent, the soft brushes of his hair on Harry’s cheek, the velvet voice whispering in his ear…

Harry pressed his legs together and was thankful the loose school robe hid the evidence of his arousal.

At long last, Snape moved away, walking back to his desk. Harry suddenly felt cold, missing the potions master’s close presence already.

 

Twenty minutes before the double period ended, Snape started calling out their names and quickly reading through their essays. Once done, they were dismissed and allowed to leave.

Of course, Snape started with the students at the back and soon only Ron and Harry were left.

“Mr Weasley.” Snape called the redhead, watching him with narrowed eyes.

Slashing through the parchment with his red-inked quill, Snape glared at Ron.

“Mr Weasley, though you seem to have a basic understanding of the Polyjuice Potion, its brewing is a complex process, not to be taken lightly. I want this rewritten before your Monday lesson, with a complete list of ingredients and a precise description of the preparation that is needed before the brewing can commence.”

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the redhead, not paying him any more attention.

“Mr Potter.” He said, observing Harry intently.

 

Fidgeting with his robe sleeves, Harry stood next to the potions master’s desk after he handed him the essay.

He watched the long, elegant fingers of Snape’s left hand softly caress the edge of the parchment, making Harry wish he could feel the feather-light touches on his skin.

Slightly bend over like this, Snape’s long hair fell into his face, partly covering the cheeks. From the side, his substantial nose was extra noticeable, yet Harry found the prominent feature strangely attractive.

Despite not being classically handsome, the potions master had a certain presence about him that drew Harry in.

He startled when Snape finished writing his notes and handed Harry the parchment.

Peering into the teen’s eyes, the potions master asked. “I trust you are still coming to your occlumency lesson this evening?”

Harry blinked at him, surprised. “Umm, of course. Sir.”

“Good.” Snape nodded sharply but kept staring into Harry’s eyes, starting to make him a bit nervous.

 

Harry couldn’t look away, suddenly feeling very vulnerable again. But just like that time in the hospital wing, Snape’s demeanour towards Harry was neutral, pleasant even.

The messy haired teen didn’t understand his professor at all, why was he sometimes so spiteful only to act as if he wanted to be near Harry the next time?

Harry was already dreading the occlumency lesson. He really hoped Snape would not revert back to his nasty self, he liked this version of him much better.

 

Suddenly, Snape stood up. “You may leave now, Mr Potter. I’ll see you at eight o’clock.”

Harry looked up at his professor and nodded, walking to his desk to get his backpack. He could feel the potions master’s eyes on him the whole time, even as he moved towards the door.

Snape followed Harry out of the classroom, locking it up behind him and turning to leave.

He glanced at Harry one more time. “Mr Potter. Keep up the good work.”

Smiling shyly, Harry nodded, earning himself a small smirk from the potions master, before the man stalked towards his office.

 

Harry watched him walk away and then pulled open his essay, curious to read Snape’s notes. At the bottom of the parchment, Harry could see a small paragraph written in Snape’s perfect handwriting.

 

_Mr Potter,_

_your essay was exceedingly well written, the description of the brewing process was accurate_

_and the explanation of the dangerous side-effect aptly illustrated._

_Your interpretation of the changing process was interesting and the list of ingredients complete._

_All in all – Outstanding._

 

Harry has read the few sentences over and over again, his mouth stretching into a goofy grin. He couldn’t believe he had received an Outstanding from Snape!

Touching the neat, slanted handwriting in awe, Harry slowly walked towards the Great Hall.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Severus walked around the corner of the dungeons corridor, cast a disillusionment charm on himself and returned to the hallway outside of the Potions classroom.

Leaning against the wall, he quietly observed Potter. The boy was reading Severus’s notes on his Potion’s essay, his face suddenly lighting up with the most adorably silly smile.

Severus watched him with a little smile of his own, feeling extremely satisfied he was able to inspire such a reaction from the green-eyed teen. He has suddenly found himself craving the boy’s smiles and blushes, so innocent yet so enticing at the same time.

He couldn’t help but keep thinking about Harry Potter who was slowly becoming something of an obsession to Severus. He found himself wishing to know everything about the boy and so he observed him closely, filing away every piece of information he found.

 

And late at night, in the privacy of his own mind, he would allow himself to dream for a while.

About the green eyes, watching him with desire. About the slender arms, pulling him close as their bodies writhed together with passion.

About the pink lips, whispering the words of love…

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

The Great Hall was already quite full when Harry finally arrived at dinner. Walking along the Gryffindor table, he spotted his friends and went to sit down next to Ron who saved him a seat.

“Hey mate, did the git hold you up till now? Do you have to rewrite your essay as well? As if we didn’t have enough homework already.” Grumbled Ron, loading his plate with roasted chicken.

Harry grinned goofily, leaning on the table and almost putting his hand in mashed potatoes. “I got Outstanding!”

Hermione squealed and Ron looked at him wide-eyed, his mouth open in astonishment.

“You got Outstanding.”

Harry nodded, still grinning.

“From Snape.” Harry nodded again happily.

“From the greasy git, the great bat of the dungeons, that Snape?” Ron looked as if he was trying to solve a really difficult math problem.

“Of course that Snape, Ron. How many Snapes do you know?” Said Hermione, rolling her eyes at the redhead and then excitedly grabbing Harry’s hand. “That’s great, Harry! I told you studying would pay off. I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Mione.” Harry patted her hand fondly, still grinning like a loon. He couldn’t seem to be able to stop.

Putting some food on his plate, Harry tried to eat a little, even though he didn’t feel hungry at all. He was both giddy from receiving an Outstanding from Snape and nervous for his upcoming occlumency lesson.

 

Glancing at the head table, he saw Snape talking to the headmaster, both of them suddenly turning to look at Harry. Dumbledore waved at him cheerfully and Harry made a weird, half waving motion back before he realized he was holding a knife.

Snape smirked at him, clearly amused and Harry turned back to his plate, blushing.

What was it about the man that made Harry react to him so strongly? His cheeks were burning and his stomach fluttered nervously again.

Hermione was watching him with a suspicious look in her eyes. “Are you ok, Harry? You look like you have a fever.”

“I’m fine. Just a bit nervous for later, you know.” Harry answered, putting down his fork.

“Oh, of course.” The bushy-haired girl nodded with understanding. “Maybe you should talk to professor Dumbledore if your lesson doesn’t go well again.” She said, sounded worried.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Hey Harry, you’re coming to the tryouts tomorrow, right?” Asked Ron suddenly, efficiently distracting Harry with Quidditch for the next half an hour.

 

Ten minutes to eight, Harry was once again in the familiar dungeon corridor, staring at Snape’s office door. Before he could even knock, the potions master was standing in the open doorway, carrying a couple of books.

“Ah, Mr Potter. So eager to study occlumency?” He raised an eyebrow at Harry.

“I can wait outside if I’m too early, sir.” Said Harry, feeling flustered.

He took a step back and not noticing one of his trainers got untied, he stumbled. Swearing in his head, Harry berated himself. Why must he always act like an idiot whenever Snape is near?

“That is quite alright, Mr Potter. Come with me.” Snape shut his office door and headed further into the corridor.

Harry stared after him, baffled. Snape was going to his private quarters, surely he didn’t want Harry to follow him?

“Today, if you please!” The potions master called out and Harry hurried after him lest he’d anger the man again.

Snape held the door open for Harry and beckoned him inside.

“Come in, Mr Potter. Please, sit down.”

 

Harry walked into a cosy sitting room and looked around. A comfortable looking dark brown sofa was facing the fireplace, flanked on each side by a cushy armchair and a small coffee table in the middle of the seating area.

The rest of the room was dominated by bookshelves. Two walls were completely covered with bookcases and filled with books. Hermione would have a field day if she saw this, thought Harry fondly.

He sat down on the sofa, looking up at his professor curiously.

Snape was standing in front of the fireplace. “It has come to my attention that you have difficulties with clearing your mind.” He said.

Harry nodded, thinking it was quite obvious after the last occlumency lesson.

“Therefore, before we resume any attempts to closing your mind to legilimency, I will teach you how to organize your thoughts and let go of your emotions. We will start with simple relaxation exercises and later move on to meditation. Do you have any questions so far?” He asked, looking at Harry intently.

“No, sir.” Harry felt as if he stepped into an alternate universe again. He was sitting in Snape’s living room, having a normal conversation with the man as if they never hated each other in the first place.

Well, Harry certainly didn’t hate him anymore. If he was being completely honest with himself, he’d admit he might have a teeny, tiny, minuscule crush on the potions master. Okay, so maybe not so tiny. But nothing he couldn’t handle.

 

Then Snape started to unbutton his robes and Harry forgot how to breathe.

He was watching those elegant long fingers gliding downwards, opening each button effortlessly. Harry’s mouth was parched and his imagination was running a hundred miles a second, each scenario it came up with wilder than the other.

All of a sudden, he realized that Snape had been talking and was now watching him with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry?” Harry croaked, his voice hoarse.

Discarding his robes, Snape was now standing in front of Harry in black slacks, white button-down shirt and a black suit vest. He looked absolutely unbelievable. Tall and slim, not overly muscular yet giving an impression of strength and power. Harry could just imagine those strong arms, holding him close, that tall body covering his own and driving him wild with desire…

_‘Focus Harry! Get your mind out of the gutter!’_ Harry forced himself to listen as Snape started talking again.

“As I was saying, there are many different relaxation techniques but we will start with the simplest one. The headmaster has kindly arranged a special room for our needs that has been added to my quarters. Come along then.” Snape walked to a door on the other side of the room, hidden behind one of the bookcases.

Feeling dazed, Harry stood up and followed the potions master into a narrow corridor. After a short walk, Snape opened another door and entered the room, waiting for Harry.

 

This room was much smaller than the living room, Harry noticed. He was looking around with his mouth open in astonishment and his mind slipping back into the gutter.

Two-thirds of the room’s floor was covered with some kind of mattress that looked like it was taken off a king-sized bed. Dozens of candles were floating about the room, giving it decidedly romantic atmosphere and Harry has wondered if he has fallen asleep before going to his lesson and was dreaming the whole thing.

“Take off your robe and your shoes and lie down.” Snape’s velvet voice and his words only convinced Harry this was a dream.

He pulled off his school robe quickly and toed off his shoes, gazing at the potions master expectantly. Looking pointedly at the low bed, the man lifted first one and then the other foot to take his own shoes off. Harry obediently climbed in the middle of the mattress, getting more excited by the minute.

“Lie down on your back, Mr Potter.” Said the velvet voice softly, making Harry wonder why would his dream lover call him Mr Potter.

He was now lying on his back, staring at the floating candles. He felt the mattress dip and knew Snape was coming closer. Feeling the arousal coiling through his body, Harry gripped the soft green blanket he was lying on.

 

“Now, we will start with a deep breathing exercise. Close your eyes, breathe in through your nose. Breathe deeply from your abdomen, exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles.” The velvet voice was murmuring into Harry’s ear and the teen was very aware of the tall body lying next to him.

His breath was coming out in short pants and he startled when he suddenly felt a hand on his own.

“You need to focus on breathing from your abdomen. If you take shallow breaths from your upper chest, you inhale less oxygen.” The large hand covered his own and placed them both on Harry’s stomach, holding them there. “Breathe in deeply through your nose, focus on making your hand rise as you breathe from your abdomen.”

Snape’s deep voice was doing amazing things to Harry’s body and he soon felt his stomach was not the only thing rising.

“Now exhale slowly through your mouth, counting back from five. Slowly, Mr Potter. Five, four, three, two, one.”

 

Harry was trying to focus on his breathing but so many things were distracting him! The warm hand, covering his own and being so much larger, also touching a part of his stomach. The soft voice, murmuring into his ear, melting his insides with its velvety caress. The hot breath, tickling his ear and cheek and giving him goosebumps all over his body…

“Good. Again, inhale slowly, make your hand rise and exhale to the count of five. Focus only on your breathing, on making your hand rise and fall as you breathe in and out. Try to inhale deeply enough to make your lower abdomen move.”

Snape moved their connected hands a little bit lower on Harry’s stomach and Harry felt the button of his trousers against his palm. He was getting more and more aroused, every word whispered into his ear had caused delightful shivers run through his body and with each rise and fall of his stomach, Snape’s little finger would brush gently against the front of Harry’s trousers. Just a little bit lower and Snape could touch his erection…

“Deep breaths, that’s it, Mr Potter. The deeper you inhale, the more oxygen enters your body.”

Oh, Merlin, Snape’s voice and his words were making Harry feel flushed, stimulating his already overactive imagination. All he registered was _deeper, enters your body deeper…_

Harry was sure he was going to combust soon.

 

“Very good, now exhale slowly, as slow as you can, prolong your exhalation.” Snape breathed out together with Harry, a gust of warm air blowing across the teen’s face.

Harry’s whole body trembled with shivers of excitement, making his breath hitch and interrupt the deep inhalation.

“Are you cold, Mr Potter?” Snape’s whispered question, so close to Harry’s ear, triggered another round of shivers.

He felt Snape lean over him, his hand leaving Harry’s stomach and his long hair suddenly falling over the teen’s face. Harry half opened his eyes and peered at his professor, inhaling deeply at the same time. The pleasant scent of spicy oranges hit him again and he realized it was the smell of Snape’s shampoo.

Snape was reaching somewhere past him, his hard chest pressed against Harry’s arm and shoulder. Then the potions master leaned back, holding a blanket. He spread it over Harry and covered him all the way to his chest.

“Continue with the breathing exercise, Mr Potter. Nice deep breaths and long exhalation. Keep the rest of your body as relaxed as possible.” Snape murmured and Harry felt the mattress dip again.

He heard some rustling and peeped at his professor, seeing the man pick up Harry’s discarded robe and hang it over the back of a chair. Harry didn’t even notice the chair before, all his attention was focused on the king-sized mattress.

Snape put his shoes on and left the room, leaving Harry alone.

 

Harry was watching the candles, lazily floating around the room and became aware of three things.

First, he was in Snape’s personal quarters. Second, this really wasn’t a dream. And third, he still had a hard-on the size of a hippogriff.

Suddenly, Harry became mortified. Oh, Merlin, what if Snape could tell he got hard? Was that why he left? What if he was now disgusted with Harry?

Harry was working himself up with worry, the breathing exercise long forgotten. He closed his eyes again and tried to calm down, the erection subsiding with all this fretting.

 

Harry was so lost in his panicked thoughts, he didn’t hear Snape come back in the room and startled when the man spoke.

“This is an exercise you can practise every night before you go to sleep, Mr Potter. Next time we will practise progressive muscle relaxation but deep breathing should always be a part of your relaxation routine. You may get up now, slowly. Sit at first to prevent getting dizzy.”

Harry opened his eyes and rolled to the side, slowly pushing himself up to the sitting position. Snape was watching him intently, his eyes roaming all over Harry’s face.

Remembering getting hard with the man next to him made the teen blush furiously. He looked down at his hands, fidgeting with the blanket still covering his legs.

“Are you well? You look rather feverish.” Snape asked, a hint of worry on his otherwise impassive face.

Harry nodded, peering at the potions master through his eyelashes. “I’m fine, sir.”

“Very well. You may put your shoes back on, we are finished for today.”

Nodding again, Harry folded the blanket and laid it on the mattress. Shuffling towards the edge of the low bed, his feet hit the ground and he quickly pulled on his trainers, this time making sure they were properly laced up.

Snape was observing him the whole time as if making sure Harry put his shoes on correctly.

 

Harry then stood up, of course too quickly for his own good, and stumbled when he got a headrush. Snape gripped his arms to steady him and when the darkness receded from Harry’s vision, he could see Snape smirking at him.

“Truly, like a newborn foal.” He said, his voice soft and sounding almost fond.

“Sorry.” Whispered Harry, suddenly lost in those dark eyes that were watching him with an amused glint.

They were standing there, staring into each other’s eyes, Snape’s hands still on Harry’s arms. Harry found it difficult to breathe, his stomach was full of butterflies again and a strange tension coiled through his body. The teen bit his lip anxiously, his breath hitching when Snape’s eyes glanced at his mouth.

“You should leave.” Snape murmured, slowly unclenching his fingers to release Harry.

The teen nodded, unable to find his voice.

Snape was touching him only with his palms now, gradually lowering his hands, sliding down Harry’s arms in a soft caress. Harry felt light-headed, desire and affection building up inside him, stretching throughout his whole body and making him feel complete.

At last, Snape’s hands moved away and the man took a step back.

“Come, it’s getting late.” He said softly, picking up Harry’s robe and draping it over the teen’s shoulders.

Harry followed the potions master out of the room, feeling dazed and giddy at the same time, unable to comprehend yet what just happened.

Snape led them through the corridor and the sitting room, opening the last door. He turned around, waiting for Harry. Harry walked through the doorway, shivering when the cold of the dungeon’s corridor hit his flushed cheeks.

Pulling the robe tighter around his body, he looked up at Snape with a shy smile. “Goodnight, sir.”

Snape watched him with an intense expression on his face, the dark eyes regarding Harry with a longing look. “Goodnight… Harry.”

Shutting the door quietly behind him, the potions master disappeared inside, leaving Harry standing in the hallway with an open mouth.

That night, Harry wasn’t walking back to the Gryffindor Tower, he was floating on air.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, lovely comments and kudos ♥ ♥ ♥


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

Walking briskly through the hallways of Hogwarts, Severus was on his way to the weekly Sunday tea with the headmaster.

His weekend was quite pleasant so far, he had spent most of the Saturday locked up in his private lab, brewing experimental potions. Emerging in the evening to fulfil the Head of House duties, he visited the Slytherin dorms and spent an hour talking to his Snakes, making sure the first years were settling in and nobody in the house was causing mischief.

On Sunday morning, he decided to forgo a quick shower and indulged in taking a long bath instead, complete with essential oils to make his skin feel like silk. Standing in front of the mirror, after carefully washing and drying his hair, Severus became aware of the fact he seemed to be spending more and more time tending to his looks. He always scoffed at men who were pampering themselves like women, finding such frivolities unnecessary.

Now, however, Severus was washing his hair every day. To get rid of the potions fumes, he told himself. He whitened his teeth, using a mild bleaching solution of his own invention, only because the yellow colour was surely detrimental to his health. Duelling exercises kept his body in good shape, but lately, he added light weight lifting to his training routine, to strengthen the muscles, not to tone up.

He definitely didn’t flex his arms in front of the mirror every day to check his progress, that would be just ridiculous.

And he definitely didn’t do all this, oh, what an absurd notion, to impress certain someone with messy black hair and the greenest eyes this world has ever seen.

 

Severus had gone through several stages of denial. First, he refused to see what was right in front of him and clung to his prejudices, refusing to regard Harry Potter as anything other than an arrogant, egoistic and spoilt brat.

Then he saw the boy lying in the pool of his own blood and later in the hospital wing, and his ground has suddenly shifted. He started to realize there was more to Harry Potter than meets the eye.

The next stage was anger. He was angry at himself, as being blind and biased had almost resulted in a boy’s death. He was angry with Potter, for evoking unknown or forgotten emotions in him with only as much as a smile. He was furious with others who had claimed Potter’s attention in less than innocent manner. Especially a certain redhead who would paw at Potter at any possible time.

Then came the stage when Severus admitted that Potter fascinated him, but that was all. He regarded him as an interesting research project, nothing more.

But the more engrossed he got by observing the boy the more fascinated he became. Every little change in the boy’s facial expressions captivated him, every smile directed at him caused his stomach flutter and every blush fuelled the burning desire coiling through his body like fire.

At last, Severus admitted defeat. He was fascinated by the boy, mesmerized by the green eyes. And though he struggled with his attraction to a sixteen-year-old, feeling almost perverted to lust after someone so much younger than him, he recognized he was attracted to the boy’s personality as well as his appearance.

 

Lost in his musings he didn’t even notice he was already standing in front of a gargoyle guarding the headmaster’s office. He gave the password, ‘Peppermint Humbugs’ and stepped on the moving staircase that brought him to the headmaster’s door. Knocking twice, he waited for Albus to let him inside.

“Severus, come in, my boy. I have the tea waiting.” Albus beckoned him to the cushy armchairs in front of the fireplace rather than the chairs at his desk.

“Albus.” The potions master sat down gracefully, accepting a teacup but waving away the sweets.

“How are you, Severus? You didn’t take your meals in the Great Hall this weekend. It’s not healthy to hide yourself away all the time, you know.” Albus was looking at him with a slightly patronizing smile.

“I am well, Albus. And you know weekends are my only refuge from the dunderheads. I have spent a very productive day in my private lab yesterday.”

“Ah, were you successful?”

“Moderately. The experimental phase of the nerve damage repair elixir is going well but the effect doesn’t last long enough yet. I’m hoping to eventually find a long-lasting solution.” Said Severus proudly, certain that he would succeed given enough time.

“That is wonderful, my boy. If anyone can invent such a potion, I’m sure it will be you.”

Inclining his head, Severus accepted the compliment and stood to refill his teacup.

“Now, tell me about your lesson with Harry. Did you like the room I provided?” Albus’s wide smile and twinkling eyes gave him away.

Severus scoffed, not amused. “You did that on purpose! I was expecting to find a quiet, unobtrusive room with perhaps a few yoga mats and a candle or two. Not some kind of French boudoir that would not have been out of place in an eighteenth-century romance novel!”

“Now, my boy, it is a perfectly acceptable meditation room. I have personally made sure it is very comfortable. Didn’t Harry like it?”

Glaring at the headmaster, Severus answered. “I’m sure Potter enjoyed it immensely. He is, after all, a Gryffindor. You seem to like such sentimental nonsense.”

Albus chuckled and popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth. “How did the lesson go?”

“It was… different. I had the boy practice deep breathing, which was satisfactory though he seemed inordinately tense most of the time.”

 

Severus recalled lying close to the teen in that ridiculously romantic room, their bodies nearly touching. The boy looked so beautiful, his face illuminated by the soft candlelight, the messy hair spread out around his head like a halo.

Severus was overcome by an intense desire to touch that beauty, to feel the silky skin that was still slightly tanned from the summer sun. Covering the boy’s smaller hand with his own, feeling the rise and fall of his stomach, listening to the boy’s deep breaths and watching those pretty lips part as if waiting for a kiss… all that was wreaking havoc on Severus’s self-control.

There he was, seemingly calm and talking the boy through the exercise but in reality fighting a wave after wave of an intense arousal, coiling through him like a snake and igniting his body with lust.

When he felt the boy’s body tremble with shivers, his breath hitching so erotically, Severus had to summon every inch of self-control not to pounce on the boy. He had to leave the room, occlude heavily and calm himself down before he dared to face the teen again.

And when they stood opposite each other, gazing into each other's eyes, the time had stopped. Nothing else existed for Severus but the mesmerizing green eyes of the beautiful teen in front of him. He wasn’t familiar with the emotions that assaulted him whenever he was near Harry. Or whenever he thought about him, dreamed of him, contemplated him.

Severus has never allowed himself grow close to anyone, not after losing his friendship with Lily. Yet Harry seemed to be slowly worming his way into Severus’s heart and that notion thrilled and terrified him at the same time.

 

He shook himself out of his reveries when Albus spoke.

“I’m sure he will improve with time. This is all new to him, after all. “ Said Albus, his eyes suddenly pinning Severus with a piercing look. “I take it your relationship with Harry is already improving?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Severus answered evasively. “It is certainly advancing in the right direction. The boy is applying himself in Potions and shows a great promise.”

“And your personal relationship?” The blue eyes were twinkling so much Severus wondered if the headmaster could see at all.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Albus.” Severus regarded him with an impassive expression.

 

“No? Well, perhaps we can talk about that at the next Sunday tea. I do have another matter to discuss with you, Severus.” The headmaster walked to his desk and picked up a parchment. “I have discovered a very probable location of one of the Voldemort’s dark artefacts. There is a ruin of an old house that once belonged to Voldemort’s grandfather, just outside a village of Little Hangleton.”

Severus sat up straight in his chair. “You are aware that the Dark Lord resides in The Riddle Manor. Why would he leave a valuable artefact in a ruin when he could store it safely in his house?”

Albus handed him the parchment, it was a map of sorts. “I believe the ruin has a special meaning to Voldemort. I want to visit this place tonight and should my theory be proven correct, I was hoping you would help me destroy the relic.”

“I will accompany you, Albus. The Dark Lord has surely placed many spells and curses on this place if he indeed used it to hide the artefact. My dark arts expertise might be needed.” Said Severus in a sure voice, not giving Albus a chance to refuse.

“Very well, my boy. We will leave right after supper. Let us hope that after tonight we will be one step closer to defeating Voldemort.” Albus patted him on the shoulder, his eyes serious.

 

After the dinner in the Great Hall, which Severus spent by observing a certain messy haired teen who blushed every time he glanced at the head table, Albus and Severus returned to the headmaster’s office.

The headmaster disappeared into his private chambers and came back a moment later carrying a rather large shoulder bag. Being able to apparate through the Hogwarts wards, Albus side-along apparated them to Little Hangleton.

They walked quickly through the village, the streets dark and deserted. Soon, they reached the woods and there, almost hidden amongst the trees, was a ruin of an old house.

It looked like it hadn’t been inhabited for centuries, the walls were completely covered in moss and many tiles were missing from the roof. Albus started walking around, casting detecting spells and looking for a door.

Severus felt the sinister energy of dark magic all around the house, the air practically sizzling with its ominous power. Many protective and repelling spells were placed on the house, most of them very dark and dangerous.

 

Dismantling them cautiously one by one, Severus and Albus have finally stepped inside the shack. Carefully following the trail of dark magic, Severus knelt on the floor and lifted a few loose floorboards.

Gently picking up the golden box he found, he set it on a dirty table still standing there and cast another set of detection spells over it. After removing the last enchantments, Albus opened the box and took out a gold ring inset with a black stone.

“This is it. This is the artefact.” Said Albus, carefully examining the ring. Peering at the black stone intently, he suddenly lifted his other hand and went to slide the ring on his finger.

Severus reacted almost instinctively, knocking the ring out of Albus's hand and sending it flying across the room. “No! Albus! It’s cursed!”

Frozen in shock for a second, the headmaster took a deep, shuddering breath.

Severus found the ring again, cautiously picking it up and laying it on the table. “The ring pulses with dark magic. I can sense the dark curse woven around it but there is something else as well. I have never felt the dark magic so sinister. What is this thing, Albus?”

The headmaster seemed to have found his bearings and answered. “It is a product of the worst possible crime committed, a crime of murder. That is all I can say about it at this time.”

He looked Severus in the eyes and took the potions master’s hand in his own. “Thank you, Severus. You have saved my life.”

Severus regarded him with furrowed eyebrows. “You are welcome. Why would you even want to put that ring on, Albus? You must feel that it’s cursed.”

Albus sighed, opening his shoulder bag and pulling out the sword of Gryffindor. “It was rather foolish of me. We should destroy the ring right away.”

 

Severus noticed Albus didn’t answer his question but he didn’t pry. Casting a powerful shield between them and the ring, he nodded to Albus. The older man lifted the sword above his head and swinging it rapidly he hit the ring.

A piercing scream resonated through the shack, sending unpleasant shivers down Severus’s back. When the scream died away, they could see the black stone of the ring had shattered and they felt the dark magic dissipate.

Albus put the ring in his pocket and quickly apparated them back to Hogwarts.

 

Severus didn’t sleep well that night, his dreams plagued by the horrid screams.

Next morning, he sat at breakfast nursing a cup of coffee, his food untouched. Glaring at anyone who dared to disturb him, Severus wished he could cancel the day and return to bed.

Just then he heard a tinkling laughter of someone coming through the door. Turning to glare at whoever had dared to be happy this morning, he found himself staring into the smiling green eyes of Harry Potter.

The boy’s expression dimmed a bit but when Severus nodded at him in greeting, Harry’s face lit up again with that perfect, beautiful smile.

Severus watched him walk to his place at the Gryffindor table, observed him as the boy ate his breakfast, noticed what kinds of food the teen preferred and counted the number of times Harry sneakily glanced at him.

 

And when he later walked back to his office, his inner voice repeated over and over again.

_‘_ _Forty-two. He looked at you forty-two times. Forty-two!’_

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

On Tuesday evening, Severus was waiting for Potter… Harry… yes, Harry. He was no longer just another of the brats, slowly but surely he was becoming important to Severus in a way he had never expected him to be.

He was waiting for Harry in his rooms, having sent the teen a note earlier asking him to come straight to Severus’s quarters and don the invisibility cloak to avoid detection of any possible prying eyes.

It was Albus’s idea to use the cloak and Severus conceded it had many merits. Should the Dark Lord receive a word of Harry’s visits in his quarters, he would immediately demand the boy’s abduction.

 

Severus wasn’t very keen on the idea of holding the occlumency lessons in his rooms, partly because it was completely inappropriate for a teacher to entertain a student in his private chambers and partly because seeing Harry there, casually sitting on his couch and lying on the makeshift bed, made it that much harder for Severus to resist ravishing the boy on the spot.

But Albus had waved away his concern about propriety, saying that Harry was above the age of consent and the school rules only clearly stated the male-female teacher-student sexual relationships were forbidden, there was nothing there about the male-male or female-female relationships.

The twinkly-eyed Albus then left, leaving Severus staring after him in shock. He still wasn’t fully convinced the headmaster hasn’t gone mad.

 

A gentle knocking has sent him walking to the door and opening it impatiently. Staring at the empty corridor, Severus could feel someone brushing past him on the way inside. He closed the door and turned around.

Harry was in the process of pulling the invisibility cloak off, making his hair stand in every direction even worse than usual.

“Good evening, Mr Potter.” Said Severus, finding the boy’s messy-haired look extremely endearing.

“Good evening, sir.”

Severus observed Harry as he folded his cloak carefully, laying it on the edge of the sofa. He was dressed casually tonight, something Severus has also requested in his note. He was hoping the boy would be able to loosen up more if he didn’t have to wear his uniform, the constrictive clothing was after all highly impractical during relaxation.

Harry was wearing loose, dark blue sweatpants that looked about two sizes too big for him, the waistband falling around the hips so low that one good tug would have them falling down. The boy’s grey long sleeve could have been black once, but the colour has long faded away. It was very wide as if meant for a much larger person and Harry’s slender form was entirely hidden by the sizeable clothing. His red trainers completed the ensemble.

 

“Have you practised the deep breathing since your last lesson?” Severus asked, slowly making his way to the other side of the room.

Fidgeting with the too long sleeves, Harry followed the potions master with his eyes and answered. “Yes, sir, every night. It made falling asleep easier.”

“Indeed. The more you practise the relaxation techniques the more accustomed you get to how your body feels during the exercises. You will be able to utilize this skill in stressful situations, regain your composure with a few deep breaths and reign in your emotions in such cases where keeping your head calm could mean a difference between survival and death.” Said Severus seriously in his best lecturing voice. “Now come, today we’ll try something different.”

 

He led them back to the small room, too extravagant for their needs yet certainly quite comfortable.

“Take off your shoes and lie down on your back. Start with the deep breathing for a few minutes, relax your body as much as possible.” Severus took his own shoes off and lied down next to Harry, lying on his side and facing the teen just like last time. He stretched his right arm under his head, gazing at the beautiful boy in front of him.

Harry was breathing deeply in and out, his closed eyes still hidden behind the round spectacles. His nose was small and perfectly straight and Severus felt a sudden urge to kiss its tip. The rosy lips kept opening and puckering slightly with each exhalation, practically begging to be kissed and tasted.

Closing his eyes for a moment to regain his composure, Severus spoke in a soft, soothing voice. “Now you’ll practise the progressive muscle relaxation. Shift your attention to your right foot, squeeze it as tightly as you can and hold for a count of ten.”

Severus lifted his head slightly to watch Harry’s foot tense and relax. He noticed his feet were quite small and just as slender as the rest of his body.

“Good, now focus on the tension flowing away, feel your foot become loose and limp. When you’re ready, repeat the exercise with your left foot and after that, first right and then left calf.”

Talking to the boy through the whole exercise, Severus took his time to observe him attentively. After a while, he realized Harry was reacting to his voice. He leaned closer and practically whispered the instructions into his ear, feeling thrilled when Harry’s breath hitched and his hand gripped the blanket they lay on.

 

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes opened and he turned his head towards Severus, peering at him questioningly.

Curious, Severus murmured. “What is it?” His eyes flickered to Harry’s mouth just as the teen licked his lips.

“I like that.” Harry whispered.

When Severus lifted his eyebrow in question, he continued. “I like your hand playing with my hair.”

Astounded, Severus became aware of his hand, touching Harry’s head and carding through his soft hair.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to…” He said, but Harry interrupted him quickly.

“No! Don’t stop. Please.”

 

The mesmerizing green eyes were melting all of Severus’s resolves, drawing him in, further and further to the point of no return.

He petted the silky hair tenderly, combing his fingers through the short strands. Their eyes were locked on each other, an exciting sort of tension building up between them, making Severus’s heartbeat quicken as if he’s been running for miles.

He lifted his left hand and began slowly tracing the contours of Harry’s face. His fingertips were brushing along the teen’s jaw, his temples and forehead, lingering on the famous scar and tracing it with feather-light touches.

Severus’s long forefinger then followed the straight line of Harry’s perfect little nose, playfully tapping on the tip once and then moving on to explore the full lips. Gently caressing the seductive bow of the upper lip at first, he noticed it was a bit thinner than the other one. Severus traced the fuller lower lip softly until the gentle pressure of his finger caused the lips to part slightly. He could feel Harry’s warm breath, puffing against his finger.

 

The teen was watching him the whole time, his eyes half-lidded behind the glasses. Severus brushed his finger against that tempting mouth again, learning its shape and texture.

Then Harry moistened his lips, accidentally licking Severus’s finger and all of the potions master’s resolves dissipated like snow before the sun.

“Harry.” He whispered and when the boy’s breath hitched, he couldn’t resist him any longer.

Leaning closer, he softly pressed his lips against Harry’s in a sweet, tender kiss. He moved back a little, trying to read the boy’s eyes. Harry was looking at him wide-eyed, surprised yet seemingly pleased. Severus suddenly felt a hand sliding through his long hair, brushing them away from his face.

“More.” The teen whispered and pressed his palm against Severus’s cheek in an affectionate gesture.

Leaning closer again, Severus moulded his lips to Harry’s, slowly caressing and massaging them, one of his hands still playing with the teen’s hair and the other one lightly petting his face. The kiss was not passionate but sweet and romantic. Somehow that made it feel all the more special to Severus.

He pressed his lips to Harry’s one more time and then moved along his jawline, peppering it with tiny kisses, revelling in the little shivers he induced.

“Harry.” He whispered, softly kissing the teen’s ear. Harry moaned quietly and Severus kissed his ear again, earning himself another low moan. Gripped by a sudden urge to hear his name fall from those luscious lips, Severus murmured in between the kisses.

“Harry, say my name. My first name, Harry.”

He traced the edge of Harry’s ear with the tip of his tongue, making the teen’s body bow slightly in pleasure and moan out his answer.

“Severus…”

 

Something has shifted within Severus, hearing his name moaned out like that. He has never experienced this kind of intimacy, tremendously arousing yet also innocent at the same time.

At that moment he understood no one would ever be as important to him as Harry was. The friendly affection he once felt for Lily paled in comparison with the deep emotions Harry inspired in Severus.

Kissing the boy’s mouth again, he enjoyed the fullness of those delicious lips, not making an attempt to deepen the kiss. Harry was so young, so innocent in his eyes and Severus didn’t want to spoil that innocence by forcing himself on the boy any more than he already had. Slowly coming back to his senses, he ended the kiss with a few last tender nips on Harry’s jaw.

“No more.” He whispered when Harry opened his eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I wanted you to.” The green eyes were watching him searchingly. “I dream about you every night.” He said softly, a blush reddening his cheeks prettily.

Severus’s heart soared, a sudden warmth coiling through his body.

“I’m too old for you.” He murmured. “Too damaged.”

“No.” Shaking his head, the teen pressed both his hands against Severus’s cheeks. “I like you just the way you are.”

 

“I am not likeable.” Severus furrowed his eyebrows, staring into Harry’s eyes wistfully. “I don’t know how to be pleasant. You experienced that better than anyone. My behaviour towards you was utterly abhorrent.” Closing his eyes, his next words came out in a pained voice. “Seeing you lying there, in a puddle of your own blood and knowing it was my fault… I nearly killed you… Of all the despicable things I have ever done this was the worst. I will never forgive myself for hurting you like that.”

“It wasn’t just your fault, I provoked you.” Harry said in a self-blaming tone.

Severus’s eyes popped open and he glared at the teen fiercely. “Never say that again! You are not to blame for the injuries inflicted on you by others! I should have sent you away, taken points or give you a detention, not resort to violence! I’m a monster!”

 

He stood up from the low bed and took a few steps, his back to Harry and his face covered with his right hand.

What was he doing? He was truly a monster, forcing himself on a sixteen-year-old boy, taking advantage of his innocence. He should be locked up in Azkaban, far away from this beautiful teen before he caused him any more harm.

Lost in the self-loathing thoughts, he didn’t notice Harry has moved until he felt a small hand prying his own away from his face.

“You’re not a monster. And I like you.” The teen said stubbornly, looking up at him.

“You shouldn't.” Severus watched him with a bland face, thinking he should send the boy away, save him from his clutches while he was still able to, reestablish their teacher-student relationship firmly and never stray from it again.

 

The boy seemed to have sensed what he was thinking because one of his hands suddenly touched Severus’s face.

“Please don’t. Don’t send me away and pretend nothing happened. I really like you.” He said in a pleading voice, a lone tear slowly running down his face.

 

Severus was many things… he was unpleasant to those he disliked, he was strict and had no patience for stupidity, he was sarcastic to the point of being cruel… But contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t heartless.

And seeing this beautiful boy, tearing up because of him, was something he simply couldn’t stand for.

He cupped Harry’s face with his hand and wiped the tear away. “Our demeanour outside of these rooms must remain the same as before. I am your teacher and on top of it a Death Eater, I can’t be seen being more civil to you than I already have been.”

Severus knew he was setting himself up for a heartbreak, that one day soon Harry will realize that an unpleasant older man, twenty years his senior, was not someone he wanted to be around.

But his self-control only went so far and when he suddenly found himself with the slender arms around his waist and a messy-haired head pressed against his chest, Severus’s heart was utterly lost.

“I’ll be careful.” Mumbled Harry, hugging him tightly.

 

They stood like that for a long moment, hugging, with Severus’s nose buried in the messy black hair.

At last, Severus pulled himself back, his hand lifting the boy’s chin. “It’s getting late, you should return to your dormitory.”

“Okay.” Nodded Harry but didn’t move.

Severus gave him a quick kiss on the tip of his nose, making the teen smile.

“Come on, put your shoes on. I’ll walk you to the door.”

Harry nodded again and obediently pulled on his trainers, following Severus to the sitting room. He picked up the invisibility cloak, draping it around himself but keeping his face visible.

“Good night, Severus.” He said with a shy smile.

Severus felt as if his heart was expanding in his chest, trying to contain all his warm and affectionate feelings towards this beautiful boy.

“Good night, Harry.” Stealing one last kiss from the tempting lips, Severus opened the door and let Harry out, feeling a fleeting caress of the boy’s hand against his own.

 

That night Severus had spent a long time sitting in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames and contemplating the enigma that was Harry Potter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it only took our boys 17 chapters :)  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are still enjoying the story.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! ♥ ♥ ♥


	18. Chapter 18

 

 

Harry was not merely floating, he was soaring high in the sky! Ever since his Tuesday lesson with Severus, yes, Severus!! Harry was feeling as if his life couldn’t get any better than this.

When he felt the potions master’s hand playing with his hair, Harry first thought he was imagining things. Something that wonderful surely couldn’t be real? But it was real and when the man started to touch Harry’s face, Harry just about melted into a puddle of goo.

And then he kissed him! Snape, Severus kissed him! It was the most amazing kiss, soft and gentle yet making Harry’s toes curl up with intense pleasure. And when the man kissed his ear, Harry felt as if he’d died and went to heaven. It was the most arousing feeling, sending little shocks of bliss through his whole body.

He was embarrassed later for moaning so wantonly, blushing when he thought about it. Though Severus seemed to like hearing his name from Harry’s lips just like it thrilled Harry to hear his from the potions master’s.

Afterwards, Harry got scared Severus would want to pretend nothing had happened between them and would go back to treating Harry with indifference. That thought made his heart contract with pain.

Standing there, looking into the man’s dark eyes that just a moment before watched him so fondly, Harry realized his tiny crush has in fact grown into something much larger. And the thought of losing it, before he could even truly comprehend that particular set of emotions, filled him with unbearable sadness.

But Severus didn’t revert back to his old self. He wiped away Harry’s tears and warned him to keep pretending their relationship hasn’t changed outside of the potions master’s rooms. Which meant he was willing to continue this thing, whatever it was called, that was slowly developing between them.

Harry didn’t know how he found his way back to the Gryffindor Tower that night. All he could see was the image of Severus in his mind. The way he watched Harry as if he was looking at something precious, the way his eyes darkened when Harry accidentally licked his finger, the way he whispered into Harry’s ear in that low, velvet voice…

 

Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, with his left elbow on the table and head leaning on his hand, staring into space while he was supposed to be working on his homework. The only homework he managed without any distractions was, of course, his Potions essay because he wanted to please and impress Severus.

Ooh, Severus… with his amazing dark eyes and beautiful long hair and a bit bigger nose that brushed so tenderly against Harry’s cheek when they kissed… mmm…

“Mate, are you okay? You’re drooling on your Transfiguration paper.” Ron’s voice suddenly penetrated Harry’s daydreaming.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” Sighed Harry, looking down at the parchment in front of him.

Hermione, who was going over Ron’s essay to correct any grammar mistakes, peered at him thoughtfully.

“You seem to be doing that a lot lately.” She said. “Just staring into nothing with a silly smile on your face.” Suddenly, she sat up straight and pierced Harry with a knowing look. “Alright, spill. Who is it?”

“Who is what?” Ron asked confused, looking first at Hermione and then at Harry.

The bushy-haired girl smiled. “Who is the object of Harry’s infatuation?”

Blushing furiously, Harry pretended to be busy with writing.

“You mean Harry likes someone? Some bloke?” Ron looked surprised at first but then turned to his best friend with a lewd smile. “Ooh, mate, who is it?”

“Hmm? No one.” Not looking at his friends, Harry was fumbling with his quill.

“Come on, mate! Tell us! Is it someone from Gryffindor? Ravenclaw?” Ron was looking around the common room as if someone would have ‘Harry’s potential love interest’ written on their forehead.

“Umm, no. Not from Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.”

Ron turned back to their table. “Hufflepuff then?”

When Harry shook his head, the redhead’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “A Slytherin? You like a Slytherin, Harry?” He cried out loudly, making many heads in the common room turn to look at them.

“Sshh!” Harry shushed him, his face burning hot.

“Honestly, Ron.” Hermione shook her head at him. “There’s nothing wrong with liking a Slytherin.”

Harry threw her a thankful look. “Thanks, Mione.”

 

“Right.” Said Ron, a bit taken aback. “You can’t help who you like. Just please, tell me it’s not Malfoy!” He was looking at Harry with pleading eyes.

Harry blinked, regarding him incredulously. “Yes, Ron, it’s Malfoy, I just can’t resist that pointy face!”

When the redhead’s eyes widened in horror, Hermione burst out laughing. “You better tell him the truth, Harry. Before he has a heart attack.” She giggled.

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend. “It’s not Malfoy, Ron. I can’t tell you who it is.”

“Oh.” Looking quite relieved, Ron leaned closer to Harry. “Why can’t you tell us?”

“He, umm, he doesn’t want people knowing about him.” Harry was making up the excuse on the go. “That he’s gay, you know.”

“Of course, Harry. That is very personal.” Nodded Hermione knowingly.

“Yeah, alright.” Said Ron. “So he likes you back?”

Both friends were looking at Harry expectantly, waiting for his answer.

“Yes. He kissed me.” Harry’s blush was back with a vengeance.

Hermione squeezed his hand happily and Ron grinned at him. Their homework lay forgotten on the table as they spent the rest of the evening talking about Harry’s mysterious love interest. Harry didn’t mind, he would have wanted to share everything with his two best friends but he understood it wasn’t possible at this time.

When Hermione started to lecture Harry about gay sex, about which she’s already found and read a book, the boys fled to their dormitory. Ron with his hands over his ears, saying he didn’t need to know how his friend and brother had sex and Harry with fiercely red cheeks, embarrassedly taking the book Hermione handed him.

 

Lying in bed later, practising the deep breathing, Harry’s mind was once again occupied with Severus. He slowly drifted to sleep, dreaming about the strong arms and long hair, luscious kisses and arousing touches. His dream Severus was just about to take his shirt off when the dream abruptly changed.

 

_He was in a dark room, illuminated only by a lone candle next to him. He was sitting behind a desk, reading a large, old looking tome and turning the pages carefully with his pale, spidery fingers._

_Suddenly, he was filled with an intense feeling of malicious glee, tapping his long finger at a primitive drawing in the middle of the page. His familiar slithered around him and up his leg, her tongue tickling the long fingers as he petted her scales._

_‘Massster.’_

_‘I have found the means to access an unlimited source of power, Nagini. I will use the ancient secrets of the forgotten civilisation and push the limits of dark magic further than anyone before. I will truly become unstoppable!’ He heard himself say in a cold, high-pitched voice._

_An evil, malevolent cackle echoed around the room as he laughed, catching his own reflection in the polished candlestick holder. The ruby red eyes were looking back at him, shining with delight._

 

“Voldemort!” Harry woke up with a gasp, looking around himself in the dark and feeling disoriented. Finally recognizing the fuzzy outline of his four-poster bed, he sighed in relief.

It was just a dream, he was still in Hogwarts. He was safe. But the dream had felt so real, just like those times he accidentally entered Voldemort’s thoughts.

Scrambling out of the bed quickly after putting on his glasses, Harry pulled a jumper over his pyjama’s, grabbed the invisibility cloak and his wand and hurried out of the dormitory. He needed to see Dumbledore right away. If this truly was a real vision, the headmaster will want to know about it.

Running through the icy hallways, he made it to the headmaster’s gargoyle in record time. He stood in front of the ugly statue, panting heavily.

“I need to see the headmaster! Open up!”

The gargoyle regarded him with a bored expression on its squashed face.

“Urgh, I don’t know the password! Ice mice! Liquorice wand! Fizzing Whizbeez!” Harry was shouting out the sweets’ names randomly, hoping to find the right one. The headmaster was known for his sweet tooth and most of his passwords were candy related.

However, after ten minutes of naming all the sweets he could think of, Harry was quickly running out of options.

“Just let me in, you stupid frog!” Frustrated, Harry kicked the statue, realizing too late he had forgotten to put on his shoes. A sharp pain hit his foot as it collided with the hard stone.

“Ow, ow, ow, damn!” Fallen down after the impact, Harry was sitting on the cold floor, holding his right foot and trying to breathe through the pain.

 

Suddenly the gargoyle moved aside, revealing the headmaster. He was looking at Harry curiously and the teen temporarily forgot his pain when he noticed Dumbledore’s night hat.

It was pointed, with a long top and a small fluffy ball hanging from the end. Twinkly yellow stars were shining brightly on the dark blue hat.

“Harry? What are you doing here, my boy?” Dumbledore asked, coming closer.

Harry squeezed his hurt foot with both hands and answered. “I had a dream about Voldemort, sir. A vision of sorts, just like before. I saw everything through his eyes.”

Dumbledore’s face turned serious at once. “Come, my boy. Let us watch your memory in the pensieve.”

He waited for Harry to follow him. Harry stood carefully on his left foot, hissing in pain when his right one touched the ground.

“What happened to your foot?” The headmaster peered at him from above his half-moon spectacles.

“Umm, I kicked the gargoyle. It wouldn’t let me in.” Replied Harry with a sheepish smile.

The headmaster nodded. “Understandable. It can be quite frustrating at times. Should you need to see me again soon, the password is toffee crumble.”

 

He winked at Harry and took his elbow, helping him to the staircase. Once there, the moving stairs took them all the way to the headmaster’s office. Harry carefully hobbled to a chair and sat down.

Summoning the pensieve, Dumbledore set it on his desk and motioned to Harry to deposit his memory. Having done it a few times before, Harry knew he had to concentrate on that specific dream and then extract it with his wand. The silvery strand was soon added to the whirling mist within the pensieve.

“Should I watch it with you, sir? Voldemort was talking to his snake, so I think he was speaking Parseltongue. Even though it sounds like English to me.” Harry said, looking at the headmaster questioningly.

“Yes, my boy. You best come along. Perhaps you’ll see something you didn’t notice while dreaming.”

“Alright.”

Together they touched the silvery pensieve liquid and whirled right into Harry’s dream.

 

Harry tried to pay attention to every little detail, especially the book Voldemort was reading. Translating the Parseltongue for the headmaster, Harry realized the snake-faced man has found something that would give him a great advantage. The question was, what was it?

He tried to read the book in front of Voldemort but he couldn’t understand a single word. It was written in some odd language, the only term that looked at least a bit similar to English was the word zombi.

Harry really hoped it didn’t mean what he thought it meant.

 

After exiting the pensieve, the headmaster sat in his chair motionless, a thoughtful expression on his face. All of a sudden, he stood up and moved to the fireplace. Throwing in a pinch of floo powder, he called into the green flames.

“Severus! Severus, wake up!”

Harry felt a thrill of excitement run through his body at hearing Severus’s name.

It only took a moment before the potions master answered. “What is it, Albus?”

“Could you come through to my office, my boy? And bring some pain and healing potion, please.”

There was a slight pause before Severus answered. “Of course. I’ll be right there.”

 

When the tall man stepped out of the fireplace a moment later, Harry was grinning at him from behind the headmaster’s back. Severus raised an eyebrow, though he looked pleased to see him.

“You needed the potions, Albus?” He turned to the headmaster.

“Oh, yes. Those would be for Harry. He seems to have had a run-in with my gargoyle.”

“Indeed?” Severus moved towards Harry, his eyes scanning the teen for injuries. “What have you done this time, Mr Potter?” He asked as he kneeled in front of Harry and gently touched his hurt foot, examining it.

Harry blushed when he felt Severus’s long fingers brush against his skin. “I kicked the gargoyle.” He said.

The potions master looked up at him with a slight smirk. “I would say the gargoyle won this round. Perhaps you should consider wearing shoes next time, hm?”

“Yeah.” Harry was staring into his eyes, getting lost in those dark orbs again. Severus was gently petting his foot, both of them seemingly forgetting the headmaster who was watching them with twinkly eyes.

Suddenly, Severus blinked and handed Harry the potions. “Here, drink these. Your foot doesn’t seem to be broken, just badly bruised. The potions will help.”

“Thank you.”

He watched as Harry downed the potions and then turned back to the headmaster. “I assume there was another reason you wanted to see me, Albus?”

The headmaster nodded and beckoned him closer. “Harry has had another vision. You can see for yourself, it is a true one, not just a dream.”

Severus glanced at Harry with a worried look before touching the pensieve to watch the memory. Harry and the headmaster waited in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts.

It didn’t take long for Severus to emerge from the pensive, a serious expression on his face.

 

“The book of Bokor.” He said. “The Dark Lord is studying the black magic of the voodoo sorcerers.”

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

 

 

“The book of Bokor.” Severus said. “The Dark Lord is studying the black magic of the voodoo sorcerers.”

Albus regarded him with a serious expression, the twinkle in his eyes dimmed a little. “That’s what I was afraid of. I thought I recognized the voodoo symbols.”

Harry was watching them curiously, looking utterly adorable dressed in his pyjamas, a hand-knitted jumper with a big H on it, one leg folded with his foot under his bum and the other one swinging from the chair freely.

“Voodoo? As in sticking needles in little dolls to hurt people?” He asked sceptically.

 

Severus smirked, amused despite the seriousness of the situation. The more he was getting to know Harry, the more he adored his every little reaction. A weak voice in his mind berated him for behaving like a lovesick fool but he happily ignored it.

“No, those are just fairytales created by simpleminded muggles. The voodoo is a branch of magic that was commonly practised on the islands of the Caribbean Sea. Wizards and witches achieved their goals by summoning different kinds of spirits and presenting them offerings to gain their help. This particular practice was, for the most part, lost when muggles killed the majority of the magical population in witchhunts.”

“Oh.” Said Harry, scrunching his nose. “So why would Voldemort want to use it?”

Severus glanced at Albus and then back at Harry. “What did the Dark Lord say? I know he was speaking Parseltongue.”

“He said he was going to use ancient secrets of the forgotten civilisations. That he will be unstoppable.” Harry told him. He was opening his mouth to say something else when the headmaster interrupted him.

“I think you should return to your dormitory, Harry. It is already very late and you still have classes tomorrow.”

Harry looked at him with a disappointed expression on his beautiful face. “But…”

“Please, my boy. I need to discuss important matters with professor Snape and you need to get some sleep. You may use my fireplace to floo directly to the Gryffindor common room, it will save you a long journey through the chilly hallways.” Albus said, his tone pleasant but strict.

Glancing at Severus, Harry nodded sadly and got up to leave.

“Umm, I’d rather walk if it’s ok, sir. I’m not so good at using the floo.” He said, fidgeting with his jumper.

“Nonsense, my boy. This is a closed network with only a selected number of fireplaces, it will be as if you stepped through the door, nothing to worry about.”

The headmaster took some floo powder and established the connection. “Come, Harry.”

 

Harry moved to Severus, standing in front of him in a way that the potions master’s taller form hid the boy from the headmaster’s eyes.

“Thank you for healing my foot, sir.” He said with a shy smile, touching Severus’s hand with a light caress.

Severus squeezed his hand lightly in response, his eyes roaming all over Harry’s face. “You are welcome, Mr Potter.” He said and leaned in a bit, murmuring almost inaudibly. “It was my pleasure.”

 

Severus watched as Harry flooed away, stumbling into the flames with his cheeks flushed red and a silly smile on his face.

“Now then.” Said Albus when they were alone. “What can you tell me about The book of Bokor?”

Severus sat down on the chair that Harry had occupied just a moment ago, regarding the headmaster thoughtfully. “The book of Bokor is an ancient manuscript that contains all the information about the dark voodoo sorcerers. The book was thought to be long lost, destroyed in the witchhunts with no copies left. Apparently, the Dark Lord has managed to obtain it somehow.”

Albus nodded, sitting down behind his desk and peering at Severus with a piercing look. “How do you know of these sorcerers? Have you studied this dark magic?”

Severus looked at him with narrowed eyes. “I have read about it. I have studied poisonous plants and animals that different civilisations used in their potions. The Bokor sorcerers were famous for using poison extracted from puffer fish in their brews. If I have gained any additional knowledge, it was only the result of being thorough.” He said, folding his arms across his chest defiantly.

“Forgive me, my boy.” Albus leaned back, looking sufficiently chastised. “I didn’t mean to imply you were dabbling in the dark arts. Anything we can find about Voldemort’s possible plans would be most helpful.”

 

Nodding shortly in acceptance of the headmaster’s apology, Severus continued. “The bokors were the dark priests of the voodoo. They were the sorcerers who practised magic for both good and evil, though they were most skilled in black magic. They were thought to be the masters of necromancy.”

“Ah.” Said Albus, scratching his long white beard. “We know that Voldemort had used necromancy before. He’s already accomplished creating the Inferi, though their use is vastly limited due to their inability to think for themselves. What exactly was Voldermort reading about in Harry’s vision?” He looked at Severus questioningly.

“He was studying the zombie astral, a spirit or a soul captured in an inanimate object to enhance the bokor’s powers. I assume this is something the Dark Lord wants to utilize.” Severus stood up and began pacing around the room. “It doesn’t seem logical to use such objects in the quest for ultimate power. For one, he would need to carry them everywhere he goes.”

Albus hummed thoughtfully. “That does seem rather counterproductive. Perhaps he wishes to use one object for several spirits?”

“As far as I know, that isn’t possible. Bokors would indeed enslave multiple souls at once but each soul had to have its own container.” Severus stopped pacing, gazing at the headmaster with a determined look on his face. “I will search through my books for any relevant information. And I still have an access to the Malfoy library even though Lucius is now in Azkaban. I will look there as well.”

 

“Very good, my boy.” The headmaster left his chair and stood in front of Severus, patting his arm lightly. “In the meantime, you need to make sure Harry’s mind is protected from Voldemort. If the boy can’t manage it himself, you must help him erect the shields from within his mind.”

Severus shook his head. “He is not ready for that, yet. He would have to open his mind to me completely, reveal all his secrets. I have only just begun to mend our relationship. If I invade his mind now, I risk losing any chance I might have had to earn his trust.”

Severus didn’t want to destroy the fragile connection between him and Harry. Having this beautiful boy close to him, willingly in his arms, was the most breathtaking and awe-inspiring experience in all his miserable life.

“I’m afraid it is necessary, Severus. Should Voldemort realize their mind link is open again, he would use it against Harry. I was hoping he would occlude heavily to prevent the boy from entering his mind, especially after what happened in the Ministry. It seems I was mistaken. Either way, Harry needs at least the basic shields to block his connection to Voldemort. You must help him, Severus.” The headmaster was looking at him seriously, his eyes trying to convey the importance of his reasoning.

 

Severus was torn. He understood the significance of having Harry’s mind shielded from the Dark Lord but he was loath to endanger their relationship in this early stage.

Albus took the potions master’s hand in both of his, peering into his eyes intently. “If you explain it to Harry, he will understand. As I have told you many times before, the boy is beyond selfless. He will not blame you for having to invade his mind in such a way.”

Closing his eyes, Severus sighed. He was hoping to first lead Harry through the relaxation and meditation exercises and only later slowly begin to aid him with the shields. Now, they would have to dive right in. He would explain everything to Harry either way but he was still apprehensive about the result.

“Very well, Albus. I will assist Mr Potter with his occlumency shields tomorrow.” He answered somberly.

Albus patted his arm again as he led him to the fireplace. “I’m certain this experience will only strengthen your relationship with Harry, my boy. You’ll see.”

His eyes were twinkling again and he smiled, yet Severus has flooed to his quarters with a deeply troubled mind.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

The next morning, Harry struggled to wake up.

Ron shook him a few times and even threw a pillow at him but Harry just couldn’t open his eyes.

When he finally dragged himself out of bed, the breakfast was nearly finished and the classes were about to start. Harry hurried through his morning routine, pulling on his clothes haphazardly and throwing the books and parchments in his backpack.

He made it to his first class just in time, running to sit down and earning himself a stern look from professor McGonagall. He couldn’t talk to his friends during the lesson but he quickly filled them in afterwards as they made their way to History of Magic.

“I thought the visions have stopped, Harry!” Said Hermione in a hushed tone.

Their whole conversation was held in almost whispers for fear of being overheard.

“I thought so, too.” Answered Harry, fumbling with his tie to make it straight. “But the important question is, what is this voodoo stuff and why does Voldemort want it?”

“I don’t know, voodoo is only briefly mentioned in History of Magic. We can look it up later in the library.” Hermione had her ‘want to do research as soon as possible’ face on.

Ron shook his head. “Voodoo was considered dark magic, I remember dad talking about a big panic at the Ministry when someone heard muggles were freely selling voodoo items on the streets. Turns out they were just some puppets that were not magical at all. But the whole Ministry was in an uproar for days until they cleared it up.”

“Yeah.” Nodded Harry. “Se… uh… Snape said that voodoo dolls were made up by muggles.”

Harry blushed slightly when his tongue slipped up. He hoped his friends didn’t notice.

“Right. If there’s anything about it in the library, it will be in the restricted section. You’ll need a pass for that.” Said Ron to the bushy-haired girl.

“Hm, I could maybe ask professor Vector, she gave us a rather complicated homework exercise and I could tell her I need to check some facts in the restricted books.” She replied with an impish glint in her eyes.

 

Harry has spent the History of Magic by laying his head on the desk and catching up on sleep.

Walking to lunch with his eyes still half-closed, he grabbed Ron’s arm to avoid bumping into walls. Once in the Great Hall, the boys attacked the food with vengeance. Harry, because he missed the breakfast and Ron because he was always hungry.

Glancing at the head table, Harry checked on Severus. The potions master seemed to be in a bad mood, he was glowering and not eating at all.

When his eyes met Harry’s and his expression didn’t change, Harry looked away, an unpleasant feeling tightening his stomach.

Staring at his plate, suddenly not hungry anymore, Harry sat still for a long moment. When he finally dared to glance at the head table again, Severus was gone.

Harry bent his head down and closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to slip through. He was feeling miserable and even though he tried to tell himself that Severus was probably just in a bad mood, he couldn’t help but think it was somehow his fault.

 

He spent his free period after lunch in his dormitory, telling Ron he was still tired and needed to sleep a bit more. The redhead stayed in the common room, finding some poor soul who was willing to lose to him in a game of chess. Harry was on his bed, curled up into a little ball and tried not to think. Which was, of course, impossible as random images of Severus kept flashing in front of his eyes.

With a deep feeling of dread, he made his way to the Potions classroom after the break. He only half-listened to Ron’s chattering about Quidditch, he ignored Malfoy’s taunts and slurs and only nodded to Hermione when she asked him if he was alright.

 

Severus let them into the classroom, barked at them to continue with the Polyjuice potion and sat down behind his desk with a stony expression on his face.

It took Harry twenty minutes to gather enough courage and finally glance at the gloomy potions master. Severus was reading some book and not paying any attention to the class.

Harry kept glancing at him at random intervals, but the professor hasn’t looked up even once.

Ten minutes before the end of the double period, Severus finally closed his book.

“Clean up your work tables and leave your homework essay on my desk.” He said, leaning back in his chair and surveying the class.

Harry finished the brewing and cleaning with his head down, feeling icy cold despite standing next to a burning flame for the last two hours. He wasn’t sure what to feel anymore. He was so happy with Severus just a few days ago, just a few hours ago when he saw him last night, albeit briefly. Now he felt like they were back at the beginning…

 

Lost in his thought, he placed the essay on the teacher’s desk and moved away, only to somehow stumble and knock over a pile of books.

Severus glared at him. “Mr Potter, kindly clean up this mess. The rest of you are dismissed, leave!”

Everybody hurried out the door, away from the cranky potions master, Ron and Hermione throwing Harry a sympathetic look.

Picking up the books quickly, Harry piled them up on the table and turned to leave.

 

“Harry.” He heard Severus say.

Harry stopped but didn’t dare to look up. He saw Severus’s black shoes as the potions master came closer, suddenly feeling a hand lifting his chin up.

“What is it?” Severus asked in a soft voice, his face serious but no longer glowering.

Harry shook his head, unwilling to speak for fear of tearing up again. Staring into his eyes with furrowed eyebrows, Severus let go of his chin and stepped back.

“You may leave if you wish. I will be expecting you at eight o’clock.” He said in a formal voice, his face completely closed off.

 

Harry was looking at him feeling utterly lost. What had happened to create this vast, cold distance between them?

When Severus turned to leave, Harry’s heart twisted in pain and he cried out. “I’m sorry!”

Severus looked back at him, his stony mask still firmly in place. “What are you sorry for?” He asked coolly.

Harry was biting his lip anxiously, trying to stop the tears but not being very successful as he already felt them running down his face.

“I don’t know.” He said.

Severus’s mask broke a little and he looked at him confused. “You don’t know?”

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you mad. I didn’t mean to!” Harry closed his eyes and prayed the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

 

Suddenly he felt two strong arms around him, pressing him against the hard chest.

“You silly boy, I am not mad. I thought you understood we have to pretend to dislike each other in public?” He heard Severus say.

“You were just pretending? But at lunch, you looked so… you looked at me like… like you hated me again.” Harry hated that he sounded so vulnerable, starting to feel like an idiot. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Stop apologizing.” Severus moved back a bit, putting his hands on Harry’s cheeks and wiping away the boy’s tears with his thumbs.

“I was being watched at lunch, I couldn’t risk showing you even the smallest kind gesture. As you know there are a few children of Death Eaters in Hogwarts and they report to their parents regularly.”

“Oh.” Was all Harry could say.

 

Severus pressed a soft kiss on Harry’s forehead and then on his nose, the dark eyes no longer cold but shining brightly. At last, he kissed Harry on the lips gently, just like last time.

Harry’s heart was filled with warmth and he returned the kiss, one of his hands creeping up to play with Severus’s hair and the other one around his waist.

He felt light-headed in a good way, like he was floating again and when Severus took Harry’s lower lip between his own and lightly sucked on it, Harry felt a spike of arousal shot straight to his groin.

“Mmm.” He moaned a bit, his body pressing against Severus’s on its own accord.

Severus gently nipped Harry’s lip with his teeth, soothing it with another tender kiss and then pulling away. Harry opened his eyes and saw Severus gazing at his mouth, a heated look in his eyes.

“Beautiful.” The potions master murmured, pressing one more kiss on Harry’s lower lip.

The teen smiled shyly, all the previous worry already forgotten. He was staring into Severus’s eyes, feeling intensely happy and when the man caressed his cheek with a small, but absolutely amazing smile on his face, Harry realized he wasn’t falling anymore, he has already fallen.

He was in love with Severus Snape.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for still reading, commenting and kudos, you guys keep me going! ♥ ♥ ♥


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

Severus was once again in his quarters, waiting for Harry.

After their tender moment in the Potions classroom, he sent the boy to dinner and asked a house-elf to bring him his own to his rooms. Harry’s reactions today have had him perplexed.

At lunch, he had noticed the green-eyed boy come to the Great Hall and he couldn’t help but look at him. However, he had noticed Nott Jr. watching him openly, as he was wont to do every time he had to write the required letter home.

Severus had kept his scowling mask firmly on his face, leaving the Great Hall in his usual haughty manner.

During the Potions class, he set the students to work and sat down with the book on voodoo magic he had brought from his personal library. Charming the cover to prevent anyone from learning the true subject of the book, he immersed himself in reading.

 

All the facts he had discovered so far pointed him in the initial direction. If the Dark Lord truly wished to control and use the astral zombies in order to gain power, he would need to carry these objects with him wherever he goes.

Closing the book just before the class ended, he observed the students clean their tables, noticing that Harry hasn’t looked at him once. The boy kept his eyes downcast, moving slowly as if lost in thoughts.

When he put his homework on Severus’s desk and turned to leave, the potions master covertly pushed the pile of books, knocking them off the table. Sending everybody else out of the room, he called Harry’s name yet the boy still wouldn’t look at him.

Severus had feared the worst. Harry had already come to his senses, not wanting to have anything to do with a morose older man who was too damaged to change.

Peering into the boy’s face, he regarded his pursed lips as he shook his head, not even willing to talk to Severus. The potions master felt his heart breaking into million little pieces.

 

He took a step back and closed himself off, firmly pushing all his emotions behind the solid occlumency shields. He would deal with them later when he was alone. Alone. Again. Always.

Then the boy blurted out he was sorry and Severus bristled. Of all the things, he absolutely refused to accept the boy’s pity.

But Harry surprised him once again. Watching that beautiful face, tears streaming down his cheeks and the eyes closed, hearing that he was afraid that Severus was mad at him, feeling how much he wanted Severus when he hugged him…

Heart soaring and filled with the deepest kind of affection, Severus kissed Harry and hoped to convey all his feelings through that simple gesture.

 

Severus glanced at the clock and sighed. Just a few more minutes and he’d have the boy near him again. He only hoped that today’s lesson won’t destroy the happy little world he seemed to exist in whenever he was with Harry.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Harry knocked on the door, completely hidden under his invisibility cloak. A few Slytherins were roaming the dungeons’ corridors but luckily none of them came near the potions master’s rooms.

The door opened and Harry sneaked in, brushing against Severus in the process. He shook off the cloak, grinning at Severus like a loon. He had barely eaten at dinner, his stomach too full of butterflies to accept food.

Patting his hair in a futile attempt to make it lie flat, he waited for Severus to come closer.

“Hi.” He said with a wide smile.

“Hello, Harry.” Severus took his hand and led him to the couch.

 

Once seated, the potions master looked at him with a serious expression. “Harry, professor Dumbledore believes it is of the utmost importance to shield your mind from the Dark Lord. Given your vision last night, the link between your minds is once more active and the Dark Lord can use it to gain a great advantage. It is therefore paramount you begin to employ occlumency immediately.”

Harry blinked a few times, bewildered. “Isn’t that why I’m learning to clear my thoughts with relaxation?”

“Yes.” Nodded Severus. “And ideally we would have enough time for you to learn how to control your emotions through the means of meditation. However, you need the occlumency shields to stop the Dark Lord from accessing your thoughts and you need them now. To wait much longer would present a significant risk that the headmaster, and I must agree with him, is unwilling to take.”

“Oh, okay. But I tried to stop you every time you used legilimency on me and I just couldn’t.”

 

Remembering his weak attempts to push Severus out of his mind, Harry wasn’t sure how he should learn to use occlumency in one evening.

Severus took both of Harry’s hands in his own, staring into his eyes intently. “The headmaster suggested I help you with erecting the occlumency shields. It is a very difficult and invasive procedure. Essentially, you would have to grant me a full access to your mind.”

Harry frowned, trying to make sure he understood him correctly. “So you could put the shields in my mind for me? I wouldn’t have to do it myself?”

“To a certain extent, yes. I would construct the basic occlumency shields that you can use to build on later when you are more skilled. The basic shields wouldn’t stop an outright attack from an accomplished legilimens but they would prevent the Dark Lord from accessing your mind through the link.”

Listening attentively to Severus and trying not to get distracted by his smooth voice, Harry suddenly grinned. “Wicked! Snake-face won’t be able to get in my head anymore!”

Severus looked taken aback by his outburst, raising an eyebrow at Harry. When Harry shrugged innocently, the potions master smirked and muttered under his breath. “Snake-face.”

 

However, his expression quickly turned serious again. “Harry, you have to understand that I would need to be inside your mind. In order to successfully erect the shields, I would need to be familiar with every hidden corner of your mind. I would see all your memories, feel all your emotions, read all your thoughts. It is not an easy feat to lay yourself open like that. Especially not to someone like me.”

Severus closed his eyes and bowed his head, the long hair falling around the potions master's face like a curtain. Harry observed him silently, the man’s words echoing in his head.

He understood very well what he had to do and even a few days ago it would have scared him immensely. But now he knew he was in love with Severus. He wanted to share everything with him, good or bad. He wanted to give himself completely, open to Severus not only his mind but also his body. Harry blushed at that thought, pleasant shivers running down his spine when he imagined himself lying naked in front of Severus.

Touching Severus’s cheek and pushing the long hair behind his ear, he said in a soft voice. “I trust you.”

Severus opened his eyes and looked up, staring at Harry in awe. “Why?”

 

Smiling softly, Harry answered. “Because you realized I’m not my father and now you see me like I really am. Not the famous Boy Who Lived, not The Chosen One, not the Gryffindor Golden Boy. Just Harry. I can be just Harry with you. Because even when you still thought I was an arrogant brat you always had my back, saving my life many times. Because you let me see the real you if only a little bit. Because when you kiss me, I feel like I’m flying and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Because when I thought today that you were mad at me, I felt miserable, like I would never be happy again. Because you make me happy.”

Blushing fiercely, Harry looked down at their connected hands. He wasn’t sure what Severus would think about his confession but he wanted him to know how he felt.

All of a sudden, Severus kneeled down in front of Harry, gazing up at him with bright eyes. “Thank you, Harry. I promise you, I swear to you I will never betray your trust. I have hurt you many times in the past but I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again.”

 

Bowing his head he pressed a kiss on Harry’s hands and then straightened up, his face right in front of Harry’s. They both moved at the same time and their lips met in a slow kiss, dancing together in a gentle, loving rhythm.

When Harry’s arms wrapped around Severus’s shoulders, the man leaned closer, kneeling between Harry’s legs. Soon, the space between them disappeared completely and they were moulded together chest to chest.

Harry whimpered when his arousal pressed against Severus’s stomach, opening his mouth to let out a moan. He felt a gentle nip on his lower lip and then a lick of a tongue, soothing the light bite. Harry’s tongue moved on its own accord and the two tongues met, causing a shock of electricity run through Harry’s body.

He shivered when he heard Severus let out a low growl and the man begun to explore his mouth. Harry only vaguely registered two hands running up and down his back, his whole focus was on Severus’s tongue.

His mouth was being invaded by a few gentle licks at first, his tongue coaxed out to play. Then Severus started to delve deeper, making Harry feel light-headed and incredibly aroused as the tongue danced inside his mouth.

Harry tried to reciprocate as best as he could but Severus was clearly dominating the kiss. The feeling of being so wanted, so desired by this usually reserved man exited Harry to no end.

All of a sudden, Severus’s tongue retreated from Harry’s mouth, making the teen chase after it. That was obviously Severus’s intention as he captured Harry’s tongue between his lips and sucked it firmly into his mouth.

Harry made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, hips jerking forward involuntarily and creating a heavenly friction against the potions master’s hard stomach. When a large hand cupped the nape of his neck and he felt a particularly hard suck on his tongue, Harry’s vision went white as he was hit with an intense burst of ecstasy. Waves and waves of enormous pleasure were running through his body, shaking him uncontrollably.

 

Slowly, he became aware of two strong arms around him and opened his eyes. Severus was gazing at him in astonishment, one of the hands softly petting Harry’s hair.

The teen’s cheeks turned a fiery red, realizing he just came in his pants.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered embarrassedly.

“Shh.” Severus pressed light kisses on Harry’s flushed cheeks, pulling back to look at him again. “You are so beautiful.” He murmured. “Seeing you coming undone like this is the most arousing thing I have ever seen.”

 

Blushing again Harry smiled shyly, his heart filled with an intense joy. Severus thought he was beautiful!

He was still embarrassed for coming in his pants and only from kissing! But Severus didn’t seem to mind, holding him close and watching him with a small smile.

After a while, Harry's pants started to feel sticky and he squirmed, wanted to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. Smirking slightly, Severus waved his wand and cast a cleansing charm over him, making Harry blush once more.

 

Severus stretched his legs and sat down next to Harry on the sofa, pulling him closer. He took the teen’s hand in his, entwining their fingers and peering at him affectionately.

“Are you ready to try? I will touch the surface thoughts at first to let you get accustomed to my presence in your mind. After that, I will access your memories. If you want me to stop at any time, squeeze my hand as hard as you can. Do you have any questions?”

Harry shook his head. “No. I am ready.”

“Very well.” Replied Severus, pointing his wand at Harry. “Legilimens.”

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

 

Harry sensed Severus’s presence enter his mind, immediately recognizing the feeling from the previous occlumency lessons. Yet he noticed a subtle difference.

The foreign mind had felt like an intruder before, entering his thoughts without permission. Now it was more of a friendly visit, the presence flowing through his mind with a light touch, almost a caress.

Severus surveyed his surface thoughts, stopping briefly at the memory of himself during lunch. Harry could see everything that Severus was watching, yet he felt strangely detached as if his emotions were already shielded by occlumency.

After a while, Severus delved deeper and accessed Harry’s early childhood memories.

Fascinated, Harry watched his mother give him a bath and his father chase after him and his toy broomstick. Happy feelings flowed through these recollections, innocent and carefree.

Happiness shifted into fright abruptly as Severus touched the memory of his parents’ murder. The flash of green light and his mother’s screaming were the only things he apparently remembered, just like when the Dementors were near.

 

Severus viewed his memories one by one, some of them crystal clear and others vague.

His cupboard under the stairs, Dudley throwing things at him and beating him up, aunt Petunia scolding him for burning breakfast when he was still too small to reach the stove properly. Uncle Vernon yelling at him and locking him up in his cupboard, uncle Vernon slapping him for standing in the way, uncle Vernon hitting him so hard Harry fell down the stairs.

Aunt Petunia screaming at him because he got blood on her new carpet. Dudley and his gang playing Harry Hunting, beating him up when they caught him. Uncle Vernon slapping him for getting better grades than Dudley. Uncle Vernon shoving him into his cupboard without supper.

The Hogwarts letters flooding the house. Uncle Vernon making the family leave and hide on a small island. Hagrid finding him anyway.

 

Intense happiness enveloped Harry when Severus viewed his memory of coming to Hogwarts. He watched his adventures with Ron and Hermione, his fights with Malfoy, his first Christmas he ever got a Christmas present.

Severus moved further, browsing Harry’s memories of the Weasleys which were accompanied by warm, content feelings.

Loving, happy memories of Sirius. Changing into despair after seeing Sirius fall through the Veil.

 

Dark, troubled and scary memories of Voldemort. The face on the back of Quirrell’s head. The monster drinking the unicorn blood. Voldemort in a weird, reddish and scaly looking child-like form before his regeneration.

The snaked-face man holding Harry under cruciatus curse on the graveyard. Possessing his mind at the Ministry.

 

Severus seemed to be jumping back and forth between the memories but perhaps Harry’s mind was just too unorganized. Harry could feel his own frustration and resentment when Severus viewed his summers with the Dursleys and the happiness when he was finally allowed to leave.

A feeling of an intense hatred emerged with the memories of Umbridge. The blood quill carving words in Harry’s hand. Umbridge almost casting cruciatus on him.

 

At last, Severus has found the memories of himself. Severus mocking Harry for his celebrity status during his first Potions class. Calling him arrogant and taking points. Severus giving Harry many detentions.

Glaring at Harry, scowling, sneering. Trying to get Harry expelled. Snarling at Harry during the occlumency lessons. Throwing a jar of cockroaches at Harry after the pensieve incident. Shaking Harry angrily and shoving him into a wall.

Harry’s feelings of anger, dislike, self-blame and sadness weaved through these memories, strangely the sadness being the most prominent one.

The emotions changed again as Severus touched the more recent memories. Severus apologizing to Harry in the hospital wing, Severus awarding Harry points during Potions, Severus sitting at the head table, gazing at Harry.

Warm feelings of affection and desire flowed through Harry as he watched the memory of Severus lying next to him, touching his hair and face, kissing him for the first time. Severus lingered at the last memories of himself and the feelings that accompanied them.

Harry once more felt the butterflies filling his stomach, the light-headedness and the floating in the air feeling, the intense happiness and love. Love for Severus.

 

Finally, Severus moved on again and Harry sensed him delving deeper still, somewhere in the back of his mind.

Darkness. Malevolence. Hatred. Evil.

For the first time since Severus entered his mind, Harry got scared. He was terrified, what was that thing? It felt so dark and sinister, not at all as a part of Harry.

He panicked and started to tremble, squeezing Severus’s hand as hard as he could.

When he felt Severus retreat from his mind, he looked at him wide-eyed. “What was that thing? Did you feel it, too? It wasn’t me, I swear, I don’t know what it was!” Harry was babbling, completely panicked.

 

Severus took Harry’s face in between his hands, making sure the teen looked him in the eyes.

“Calm yourself, Harry. Take deep breaths just like you practised. That’s it, breathe.” His smooth, calm voice helped Harry get a hold of himself until he wasn’t panting anymore.

Severus let go of his face and hugged him close, gently petting his hair. “That dark and malevolent presence that you felt is the link that connects you to the Dark Lord. I confess I had not expected it would be so pronounced.”

Harry shuddered, burrowing his face in the potions master’s neck. “It was horrible, almost like when Voldemort possessed me at the Ministry. Can’t you get rid of it?”

“I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how. I will, however, set up the shields between your mind and the link.”

“Okay.” Harry hugged himself closer to Severus, breathing in the potions master’s scent.

“Tell me when you’re ready, Harry. You were doing very well, I don’t expect any difficulties while erecting the shields.” Severus told him, pressing a light kiss on Harry’s temple.

Harry nodded and sat up straight, looking at Severus with determination. “I’m ready. I want to be shielded from that thing as soon as possible.”

“Good. Pay close attention to what I’m doing and try to duplicate my actions, erecting your own shields. You should be able to sense the barrier I will construct and add your own layers.” Severus lifted his wand again and waited for Harry’s nod, then murmured. “Legilimens.”

 

Feeling Severus’s familiar presence enter his mind, Harry relaxed and followed him as they weaved their way through Harry’s memories. Severus stopped just before he reached the dark, sinister matter at the back of Harry’s mind.

Suddenly, Harry felt a warm, caring aura spread all around him, pushing the bad feelings from the evil presence away. The aura was thickening, becoming more solid with every second and Harry realized it was Severus’s shield being erected.

He imagined softly pressing his palm against the barrier and was immediately surrounded by an echo of Severus’s presence. The whole shield was imbued with the potions master’s essence and Harry loved the idea of always being able to feel Severus in his mind.

He tried to imitate Severus’s actions just like he was told, imagining a wall being raised right next to the shield. When nothing happened, he tried again but Severus’s barrier was still the only one there. Harry could feel Severus move further away, strengthening the shield around the edges of Harry’s mind.

Feeling frustrated with his lack of success, Harry hugged himself close to the barrier. He petted the invisible wall, enjoying having the echo of Severus’s presence next to him when he suddenly noticed a thin mist floating around the barrier. Concentrating on making the mist solid, he finally managed to add a paper-thin layer to the shield.

Harry could feel Severus inspecting the barrier and then exit his mind.

 

Back in the sitting room, Severus was petting his hair again. The potions master was gazing at him with a strange expression on his face, something like worry flashing in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Severus finally asked.

Harry smiled at him, feeling immensely content. He could sense the echo of Severus’s presence in his mind, the barrier buzzing with warm and caring emotions. “I’m fine. Just a little bit tired.”

Pressing a soft kiss on Harry’s forehead, Severus replied. “That is understandable. Occlumency requires a great deal of practice and having the shields erected by another presence in your mind is extremely invasive.”

“Hmm, it didn’t feel invasive with you. It felt nice.” Said Harry.

 

Severus was watching him with furrowed eyebrows, taking the teen’s hands in both of his. “Harry, I want to apologize to you. I have been so blind in my prejudice, seeing you only as a copy of your father, that I have failed to perceive the hard facts that were right in front of me.”

Bewildered, Harry blinked at him. “What facts?” He had no idea what was Severus talking about.

“The fact that every September you come to Hogwarts looking much thinner than when you left for summer. The fact that both your parents were rather tall yet you are the smallest amongst your classmates. The fact that when I overheard you pleading with the headmaster to be allowed to stay in Hogwarts during summer, I didn’t investigate your reasons and dismissed it as ramblings of a spoilt brat. The fact that you seem to lack respect for the authorities. What I believed was arrogance, was in fact self-preservation. And I of all people should have realized the truth, Harry. Our experiences are frighteningly similar.”

Harry was listening to him with a mouth open in astonishment.

 

Getting more agitated the longer he spoke, Severus stood from the sofa and was now pacing the room.

“Umm, what exactly are you saying?” Harry carefully asked, not really sure why was Severus getting so worked up.

“I have seen all the signs but I have failed to make the connection.” He answered, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, Merlin, it is all perfectly clear now. And my deplorable behaviour towards you only worsened the situation.”

Harry stood up as well and walked to Severus, taking his hand. “Severus, what do you mean?”

“Harry.” Severus embraced him and held him close to his chest. “I should have realized you are a victim of child abuse.”

“What? No, I’m not!” Harry exclaimed, his voice a bit muffled as he was pressed to Severus. He pulled himself back a bit, staring into the potions master’s eyes. “I was not abused, my relatives just don’t like me very much. They didn’t want to have me in their house because they are scared of magic.” He explained, wishing Severus would stop looking at him like he was insane.

“Harry.” Severus once again took his face between his hands, peering into his eyes intensely. “They were beating you, starving you, treating you worse than a house-elf! They made you sleep in a cupboard under the stairs for Merlin’s sake!”

Looking away from that intense stare, Harry started to fidget with his t-shirt. “That was before Hogwarts, now they just mostly ignore me. And I got Dudley’s second bedroom. And Ron and Hermione would send me food packages during the summer so I usually have something to eat.”

“Harry, are you listening to yourself? That is not normal. I have seen your memories, your bedroom door has more locks on it than the Dark Lord’s dungeon! Those muggles are one hundred percent guilty and I will make sure they are punished!” Severus was looking outright murderous and Harry got suddenly scared.

“What are you going to do? You’re not going to hurt them, are you?”

Pulling Harry closer again, the potions master walked them back to the sofa. “I will speak to the headmaster first. I will demand the reasons he had for not visiting you at your relatives’ house and making sure you were well cared for.”

Harry sat down, looking up at the agitated man. “Umm, the headmaster already knows. I have found out last year that my babysitter, Mrs Figg, was reporting to him regularly. She lives near to my relatives.”

“Arabella Figg, the squib? Why would he leave you there if he knew…?” Severus was regarding Harry with furrowed eyebrows.

“He said I was best protected at my relatives’ house because of the blood wards. They need to recharge every year, he said.”

“Of course, the blood wards… still, he could have found a different solution. But the headmaster never cared about an individual, always willing to sacrifice others for the greater good.” Severus was talking to himself, lost in thought.

Suddenly, he looked up. “If the headmaster won’t act, I will punish them myself.” He said with a dark look.

Squeezing his hand, Harry turned to him with pleading eyes. “Please don’t hurt them! They might hate me and treat me badly but they are still my relatives. Aunt Petunia is my only link to my mum. Please!”

 

Severus was staring into his eyes for a long time when he finally sighed, gently caressing Harry’s cheek. “You are too selfless for your own good. Very well, I won’t physically hurt them but there are a few spells that would make their lives much less comfortable.” He raised an eyebrow at Harry in question.

Harry nodded, nuzzling into Severus’s hand. “Okay, you can hex them a little bit.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“Good. I will ensure they cannot harm you again.”

 

Harry had a feeling that Severus had agreed with him a bit too quickly and was being deliberately vague. The potions master was surely not going to restrict himself to using only mild spells and hexes when going after the Dursleys but Harry had decided not to analyze that thought too much.

Leaning into Severus, he closed his eyes, nearly purring when Severus once again started to card his fingers through the teen’s messy hair.

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

 

 

Severus was furious. No, that wasn’t right. He was feeling outright murderous, his insides boiling with rage.

After he viewed Harry’s memories of years-long abuse, he had to use every ounce of self-control not to storm out of the castle and kill the fat pig that called himself Harry’s uncle.

Only Harry’s presence stopped him. Holding the boy close to his chest and occluding heavily to dull the intense emotions, he was able to think more rationally and talk to Harry in a relatively calm manner. Though the boy’s selflessness and disregard of his own worth were greatly pushing Severus’s limits.

 

Watching Harry’s memories and feeling the boy’s emotions had once again left Severus utterly perplexed. Even after being through so much at the hands of his relatives, Harry’s feelings were those of loneliness, sadness, longing to be loved and perhaps the smallest bit of resentment. Yet there was no anger, no hate nor wish for revenge as Severus would have expected.

As he himself would have felt, as he himself _had_ felt towards his abusing father. He spent years fearing and hating his father, waiting for the day when he would be finally strong enough or old enough to fight back. Severus had created a spell to use especially on his father, one that would make the monster feel all the pain he had ever inflicted on Severus all at once.

Unluckily, Severus never had the pleasure to find out just how well would his spell work. His father had drunk himself to death a month before Severus had turned seventeen. Attending the man’s funeral was one of the happiest memories he ever had of his father, being free of the monster at last.

 

Yet Harry didn’t seem capable of feeling such dark emotions or at least not to that extent. He had certainly hated Umbridge, but then the horrid woman was easy to hate.

Severus recalled finding out about the pink toad using blood quill on students, making them write lines in their own blood. It was her only luck that by that time she was already locked up in St Mungo’s or Severus would have fed her some of his self-brewed poison.

And then the memories of himself, as seen through Harry’s eyes. He had treated the boy with utter disdain in his misguided quest to quell Harry’s arrogance. In his preconceived beliefs, he hadn’t realized that the boy’s recklessness and penchant for trouble were not the results of his self-importance but exactly of the opposite.

Harry was the least selfish person he had ever encountered, willing to run headlong into danger to help someone else.

What Severus found the most baffling was how Harry perceived and thought of him. Five years he treated Harry horribly, picking on him and getting his revenge on the helpless boy for the sins of Potter Sr.

Though Severus believed Harry had deserved some of the detentions he had assigned him over the years, he admitted to himself that many were given out of spite. Yet the boy, the beautiful green-eyed boy with a soul pure and clean like a freshly fallen snow, held currently only warm and affectionate feelings for Severus.

The older memories of him were underlined by a profound sadness, one that Severus wasn’t as of yet able to fully comprehend.

 

How could Harry like him, the jaded and unpleasant man who was in many aspects the exact opposite of the sweet and still innocent teen? Severus recognized he was not worthy of the affectionate attention Harry had bestowed upon him, aware of the fact that the boy would sooner or later come to his senses.

Still, he couldn’t force himself to forfeit what little time he had with Harry, selfishly clinging to his little bubble of happiness.

 

Surprisingly, the relationship with Harry kept slowly but surely developing into a truly committed one. The past weeks and months were marked by familiarizing themselves with each other’s personalities, their interests and expectations.

The sexual attraction between them was growing stronger as well but Severus has never let it go too far. Desiring nothing more than to make Harry his in every way, he was not willing to steal the boy’s innocence and have him later regret it.

 

Walking through the icy corridors of the Hogwarts’ dungeons, Severus was on his way to the headmaster’s office.

He had barely spoken to Albus these last few months since confronting the older man about the abuse Harry was subjected to at the hands of his relatives. The headmaster kept repeating the blood wards were affording Harry the ultimate protection from the Dark Lord yet he was not able to offer any explanation of his ignorance concerning Harry’s home situation.

Severus had accused him of treating people like chess pieces in his game for the greater good and slammed the door behind him, not speaking to the headmaster beyond his teaching duties.

 

Knocking on the door, he waited for an answer and entered the headmaster’s office.

“Severus! Thank you for coming so quickly, my boy.” Albus beckoned him inside from behind his desk.

“Albus.” Severus sat down primly on the appointed chair, his face expressionless.

Regarding him with sorrowful eyes, the headmaster sighed unhappily. “I wish you would stop avoiding me, Severus.”

When Severus didn’t react in any way, the older man continued. “I have spoken to Harry a few times, his occlumency is steadily improving. I am most grateful for your help, my boy.”

Severus could have been a statue, he sat unmovingly and watched Albus with cold eyes. The headmaster sighed again, folding his wrinkled hands on the desk in front of him.

“I have called you today to request your help with destroying two more of the dark relics I have been fortunate enough to find. I have located them in the most unlikely places if you are interested to know?”

He peered at Severus questioningly, clearly pleased when the potions master subtly inclined his head. Opening his desk drawer, Albus took out a small wooden box. He unlocked it, turning the open box towards Severus to show him its contents.

Leaning in imperceptibly, Severus examined a delicate looking tiara with a blue, oval-shaped stone and a heavy golden locket with a letter S in glittering green stone inlay on the front.

 

“The Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw.” Albus pointed at the tiara. “It is the only known relic once belonging to Rowena Ravenclaw and was thought to be lost for centuries. How Voldemort found it I do not know but when he did he imbued it with his own dark power, turning it to the same kind of relic as the ring we have found and destroyed in the Little Hangleton. This relic he hid in a place where one would never expect to look for it.”

Albus's eyes were back to full twinkling mode and Severus had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes at the blatant attempt to pique his interest.

“Very well, I’ll bite. Where did the Dark Lord hide it?”

Albus spread his arms and exclaimed excitedly. “Here!”

Severus’s first thought was that he hasn’t had nearly enough coffee yet to deal with the mad headmaster who seemed to be losing his marbles on a daily basis.

“Here.” He raised his eyebrow sceptically. “The Dark Lord has come over for tea and left a priceless relic in your office? Did he by any chance mention his newest voodoo obsession?”

“Now, my boy. There no need to be sarcastic. Voldemort had indeed come here, many years ago when he was still a young strapping man. He had wished to apply for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post but I had rejected his application. I believe this was the last time he had stepped inside Hogwarts and perhaps also when he hid the diadem within its walls. I have found it after a very fortunate hint from Harry.”

The blue eyes were twinkling merrily at Severus’s astonishment.

“Pray tell how would Mr Potter know about a long lost diadem which no one has seen in centuries?” Severus wasn’t in the mood for games, knowing that Harry would have mentioned something this significant.

Albus chuckled happily, reinforcing the potions master’s opinion of his mental health. “He didn’t know about the diadem, merely pointed me to a peculiar room where one might find things that were thought lost. The Room of Requirement would change into any room one might find oneself having need of. I assume Voldemort thought he was the only one who had ever discovered and used the room, deeming it a perfectly safe hiding place for his relic.”

“I see.” Severus already knew about the mysterious room as Harry had shared some of his adventures with him. “And the locket?” He asked.

“Ah, that is another fortunate finding.”

 

Albus rubbed his hands together excitedly, reminding Severus of an old muggle movie of a mad scientist cackling hysterically about one of his experiments.

“As you know, I have allowed Harry to spend the Christmas with the Weasleys on the condition of staying under the Fidelius Charm at Grimmauld Place. Imagine my surprise when upon visiting I have come across an argument between Molly and Harry, who was defending the old house-elf Kreacher. Apparently, Molly was trying to clean the house, throwing out everything she didn’t find useful and Kreacher was attempting to stop her. Harry then came to his rescue, saying that the house was the last thing he had left to remind him of Sirius and as he was now the rightful owner, nothing would be thrown out without his express permission.”

Severus nodded, having heard about the fight from Harry when he returned after the winter holidays. Though they celebrated the Christmas apart, their reunion was all the sweeter, spending the whole Sunday in Severus’s rooms talking, kissing and cuddling (Severus would never admit this to anyone, but he loved to cuddle with Harry).

“Kreacher had this locket in his possession and when I inquired about it, he told me an interesting story. Sirius’s younger brother, Regulus Black, had somehow found out Voldemort’s secret and attempted to take the locket from its hiding place to destroy it later. He was, however, overcome by the relic’s defences and unfortunately perished.” Albus was peering at him from above his spectacles. “Kreacher had managed to use his elf magic and apparate away, taking the locket with him. He told me he had tried to destroy it many times but nothing would breach the heavy gold. I am hoping we shall be more successful.”

 

Severus leaned closer to the desk, feeling the dark and sinister magic oozing from the relics. Something about that ominous power felt vaguely familiar, though Severus couldn’t recall why.

“I assume you’ll be using the sword again?” He asked, gazing at Albus with raised eyebrows.

Albus nodded, standing up from his chair to get the sword of Gryffindor which was displayed proudly above one of the bookcases.

“Indeed, my boy. This sword, goblin forged and imbued with basilisk venom, is one of the few things that can destroy Voldemort’s dark relics.”

Severus stood up as well, moving the chair out of the way. Taking the diadem out of the box, Albus conjured a small table and placed the relic in the middle. Severus cast a strong shield charm all around them after casting several spells to protect the headmaster’s office from any possible explosions.

Albus swung the sword just like that time in the shack and with one precise hit shattered the Ravenclaw’s diadem. A deafening, inhuman scream pierced the room and the broken diadem appeared to be discharging a dark blood-like substance.

 

“Well, one more to go.” Said Albus pleasantly as if he was talking about eating lemon drops.

Carefully wrapping the broken diadem in a piece of cloth, he replaced it in the box and took out the locket. Severus made sure the shield charm was still holding and nodded to Albus to proceed.

Bracing himself for another shrill scream, Severus watched as the sword hit the locket, knocking it off the table and across the room.

“Hm, this is unexpected.” Said Albus thoughtfully when he picked up the undamaged locket. “It appears to be entirely intact, the sword didn’t even scratch it. I’m afraid the locket can’t be destroyed this way.”

“Perhaps we should open it first.” Replied Severus, examining the locket as well, its ominous magic swirling around them like a smoke.

The headmaster turned the glittering green stone letter S towards Severus. “This locket was created by none other than Salazar Slytherin, to be passed down his family line. He made sure only those of his blood could open the locket and thus only a Parselmouth can open it.”

He looked at Severus with a small smile. “I’m sure this is one of the reasons Voldemort had chosen it as well. At the time he had transformed the locket into his dark relic he was the only known Parselmouth in Wizarding Britain, perhaps even in the world. He would have been unbeatable if he didn’t choose to act on the prophecy.”

Albus vanished the small table, taking the locket with him to his desk. He peered at Severus knowingly, the blue eyes twinkling merrily.

“I believe Harry is spending his afternoon in the library. Shall we go find him?”

Severus looked at him with narrowed eyes. The fact that Albus seemed to be informed about everyone and everything within the castle’s walls irritated him to no end.

“Very well.” He agreed, walking briskly to the door.

 

A short walk later they found themselves in the Hogwarts library, practically void of students as most of the upper years were spending their day in Hogsmeade.

Severus knew Harry has opted to stay in the castle and catch up on his homework, not wanting to be a third wheel on his best friends’ date. Harry was happy for his friends but confided in Severus that seeing them snogging on a couch in the common room was beyond strange.

They found Harry sitting in one of the window seats, an open book on his lap and a quill in his hand. He looked up when they came closer, beaming at Severus as he greeted them.

“Professor Dumbledore, professor Snape! Hello.”

“Good afternoon, my boy. I see you take your studies seriously.” Albus was twinkling at Harry with a pleasant smile.

Severus nodded to the messy haired teen, his face impassive but the dark eyes warm. Noticing a small ink stain on Harry’s lower lip, Severus bit back a moan, wanting to kiss that plump lip until the stain disappeared.

“Yes, sir, I wanted to get all my homework done before tomorrow.” Harry replied, watching them questioningly. “Is there something you needed from me?”

“Indeed, my boy. Professor Snape and I require your assistance and unique abilities, so to speak. If you wouldn’t mind accompanying us to that wonderful room you told me about?” The headmaster stood aside, waiting for Harry.

“Oh, of course. I’ll just get my things.” Harry hastily put the parchments and books in his backpack, standing up from the seat and stumbling over the table’s leg. He bumped into Severus who steadied him with a smirk.

“Sorry, sir.” Blushed Harry, looking at Severus through his eyelashes.

He looked so innocent yet seducing at the same time that Severus suddenly felt his blood rushing to his nether regions.

Sneakily petting the boy’s forearm, he answered. “That’s quite alright, Mr Potter. Shall we?”

 

Harry nodded with a smile, his cheeks still flushed red. They followed the headmaster to the seventh floor and waited as he summoned the room. Once inside, they found themselves in a cosy sitting room, complete with squashy couches and comfortable looking armchairs.

Albus put the Slytherin locket on a coffee table and beckoned Harry closer.

“This is a locket of Salazar Slytherin, Harry. Voldemort had used it in a dark ritual, turning it into a very dark relic. It must be destroyed but so far professor Snape and I were unsuccessful and we need your help.”

Harry was standing in front of the table, looking at the locket with wide eyes. “It feels weird.” He said, holding one hand above the locket but not touching it. “Like it’s alive and has a heartbeat. What do you want me to do?” He asked, looking at Albus questioningly.

“Salazar Slytherin enchanted the locket so that only a Parselmouth can open it. We need you to speak to it in Parseltongue when we tell you, alright my boy?”

The headmaster pulled out the sword he had carried under his robes and waited for Severus to cast the shield charm again. Severus stood behind Harry, ready to pull the boy out of the harm’s way should it be necessary.

He nodded to Albus and the headmaster nodded to Harry. “Alright, my boy. Whenever you’re ready. Just open it and stand aside.”

Harry was staring at the locket, concentrating heavily. “Open.” He said.

“Still English, try again.” Murmured Severus, softly caressing the boy’s lower back.

Harry bowed his head slightly, closing his eyes. When he spoke next, a low hissing sound came out of his mouth.

The locket sprung open, revealing two, seemingly alive eyes looking back at them from the locket’s picture windows. Severus put his arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him back just as Albus swung the sword. The locket shattered at once but instead of the expected scream, a black smoke rose from the relic, hovering above the table and slowly forming a human-like figure.

The shadow drifted towards Harry, reaching for him with its smokey hands and calling out in an anguished voice. _“Brother!”_

Severus took a step back, taking Harry with him and the figure disappeared into thin air.

 

The silence in the room was deafening. Harry was staring at the destroyed locket, Severus was staring at Harry and the headmaster was watching them both.

The moment the locket was open, Severus was once again assaulted by the familiarity of that sinister magic. He had spent enough time in the Dark Lord’s presence to recognize the dark wizard’s magic but this had felt slightly different, darker still. Evil and malevolent, just as…

Severus’s eyes grew wide when his mind finally connected the dots. He had sensed the same kind of magic at the back of Harry’s mind. Which indicated that there was something inside Harry imbued with the Dark Lord’s evil magic.

Unbidden, the headmaster’s words echoed in Severus’s head. _‘All of these objects must be destroyed before Voldemort can be vanquished. All of them, beyond repair.’_

Destroyed beyond repair.

Severus was staring at Harry, the beautiful boy who had stolen his heart. He felt like he was being torn apart from the inside, wanting to grab Harry and run with him far away.

He glanced at Albus who was watching him with sorrowful eyes, inclining his head as if to confirm Severus’s suspicions.

“NO!!!” Screamed Severus, hugging Harry close to his chest as the room exploded all around them.

For the first time since he was a teenager, Severus has lost control of his magic.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't say it enough, thank you all for reading, sweet comments and kudos!   
> I really appreciate it ♥ ♥ ♥


	23. Chapter 23

 

 

Harry was staring at the strange locket, wondering why would the ghost-like apparition call him brother when he was suddenly pressed against a hard chest. Severus screamed and a mere second later a complete mayhem broke out.

The couches exploded, feathers and cushion fillings were flying in every direction, the windows shattered, showering the room with broken glass and the fire in the fireplace flared up so much it burned a part of the coffee table.

All the while, Severus was holding him tightly, bowed above Harry to shield him with his own body. Confused, Harry peeked from under Severus’s arm at the headmaster. The older wizard was standing on the other side of the room, a wand in hand and a shield charm around him.

The chaos was over as suddenly as it has begun.

Sighing softly, Dumbledore cancelled the shield charm, waving his wand in an intricate movement to repair the wrecked room.

Once done, he spoke in a soothing voice. “Severus, that was quite some display. I didn’t believe you were still capable of accidental magic, my boy.”

Severus loosened his hold on Harry slightly, staring at the headmaster. “Is it true?” He asked in a pained voice.

Harry looked up at him confused. He had a feeling he’d missed something, especially when Severus and the headmaster seemed to be having a silent conversation through their eyes.

“I’m afraid so.” Answered the headmaster at last.

Severus made a strangled sound, burying his face in Harry’s hair. Harry didn’t know what was going on but he didn’t like it.

He turned to look at Dumbledore. “Umm, sir? What just happened?”

 

Dumbledore moved towards the repaired armchair, beckoning with his hand. “Perhaps we should sit down and I will explain everything from the beginning. I believe it is time you had both learned the whole truth.”

Severus moved them without a word, leading Harry to one of the couches. Sitting down together, Severus left his arm firmly around Harry’s shoulders. Harry didn’t mind though he wondered what the headmaster thought of their sudden closeness.

“As you both already know, Voldemort had created several dark relics and imbued them with his own magic.” Dumbledore’s words startled Harry out of his thoughts. “These relics are the means of preserving his immortality. In other words, as long as they exist he cannot die.”

“Is that what the locket was?” Asked Harry curiously.

Dumbledore nodded. “Indeed, my boy. I have been searching for these objects ever since I suspected their existence. I wasn’t completely convinced Voldemort has created them until you brought me Tom Riddle’s diary, Harry. The diary was the first relic he enchanted, his first Horcrux.”

“A Horcrux?” Harry glanced at Severus but the potions master didn’t seem to know what a Horcrux was any more than Harry.

Watching the headmaster intently, Severus asked. “How exactly do these relics allow the Dark Lord to retain his immortality? What are they?”

Harry could feel how tense Severus was, sitting next to him. Over the past few months, he’s learned to recognize most of the potions master’s moods but he has never seen him this… worried, Harry finally decided was the right word.

“A Horcrux is an object in which a person has hid a part of their soul after splitting it. That part is then safely concealed and even if one’s body is attacked and destroyed, one cannot die, for part of the soul remains earthbound and undamaged.” Explained the headmaster with a serious expression on his face.

Frowning, Harry asked bewildered. “How does someone split their soul?”

“By committing the supreme act of evil.” The headmaster replied and seeing Harry’s confused face, he added. “Murder. A Horcrux can only be created after committing a murder.”

“Oh. Well, Voldemort certainly doesn’t have a problem with that.” Said Harry in a flat voice.

 

Severus didn’t move but Harry could feel the long fingers squeezing his shoulder tightly as he asked. “And Harry?”

The teen turned his head rapidly. “What about me?” He asked but Severus didn’t look at him, his eyes boring into Dumbledore’s.

“I believe by the time Voldemort had gone after Harry, his soul was already highly unstable. Perhaps he had planned to create his final Horcrux with Harry’s murder, perhaps it was an unfortunate accident but when the killing curse rebounded, a shard of his soul split and latched itself onto the only living thing left.” The headmaster inclined his head towards Harry with sad eyes.

“Me?” Harry was gaping at him with an open mouth. “There’s a part of Voldemort’s soul in me?” Immediately upon comprehending the truth, Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe. His whole body started to shake, feeling like ice was running through his veins and his vision went all spotty.

Strong hands pressed against his face, forcing him to look into Severus’s eyes. “Harry, deep breaths, breathe with me. Breathe in through your nose, long inhale, that’s it. Now breathe out slowly and again. Focus on your breathing, focus on my hands touching your face.”

Severus was talking to him in a strong but soothing voice, calming Harry down until the panic attack passed. When his vision fully returned and his heartbeat slowed down, Harry buried his head in Severus’s chest.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, finding comfort in the strong arms that held him tightly.

“Shh, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” Murmured Severus before speaking in a cool voice. “You knew all this time, Albus?”

Harry didn’t look up but guessed that Severus was glaring at the headmaster who answered in an apologizing tone. “I only suspected, my boy. With Harry being a Parselmouth and receiving visions from Voldemort in a way that shouldn’t be possible, I knew it was a great probability. However, I wasn’t entirely sure until today. The Horcrux clearly reacted to the presence of another of its kind.”

“Is there any chance you may be mistaken?” Asked Severus, carding his fingers through Harry’s hair and massaging his scalp softly in a soothing manner.

“Unfortunately, no. You have felt the presence of the Horcrux in Harry’s mind yourself. Luckily for Harry, the soul shard is so small it is unable to interact with him. Apart from lending Harry the ability to speak to snakes and enabling the connection to the main soul, it appears to be completely dormant.”

 

Turning his head, Harry peered at Dumbledore and found two blue eyes watching him cautiously. “What will happen now? Can you get it out of me?” Harry asked in a small voice.

He felt terrible, tainted by the dark presence within his mind. Severus held him tightly, staring at the headmaster.

“There must be a way.” He said forcefully.

Dumbledore folded his hands in his lap and sighed. “Destroying the Horcrux is only possible if the object containing the soul fragment is damaged beyond any physical or magical repair. However…”

“What?” Harry interrupted him rudely, sitting up straight and staring at the headmaster with wide eyes. “You mean I have to die to get rid of it?” He started to tremble violently, on a verge of a second panic attack.

“No!” Exclaimed Severus, pulling Harry back against his chest. “I will not allow that! I’d rather let the Dark Lord rule the world!” He said, scowling at Dumbledore murderously.

The headmaster put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “Now, my boys, calm down. I was not in any way suggesting Harry’s untimely demise. As I was saying, the objects must be destroyed, however, never before has there been a mention of a human Horcrux.” Peering at them from above the half-moon spectacles, Dumbledore continued. “I have begun researching possession by another spirit after the unfortunate incident with the Riddle’s diary. As you both know, Ms Weasley had been possessed by the memory of Tom Riddle, the sixteen-year-old Voldemort. The soul shard concealed in the diary was large enough to be able to drain Ms Weasley of her magical energy and thus gain enough power to obtain a frail physical form. Should something similar happen again, I wanted to be prepared. I have discovered an old journal that describes several methods of banishing demons.”

Harry peeked at Severus who was watching the headmaster with narrowed eyes. “How is that relevant to our situation?” Asked Severus, making Harry’s heart melt a little.

 

Hearing he had a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside him, Harry was afraid Severus would not want to be near him anymore. He felt unclean, tainted by Voldemort’s evil magic and clung to the hope he heard in Dumbledore’s voice.

However, Severus referring to this mess as _our_ situation showed Harry he wasn’t going to be left alone.

“The journal documented an old practice that might be helpful. Many centuries ago, when the divide between the dark and the light magic was not yet so profound, many wizards and witches were dabbling into summoning lesser demons to have them do their bidding. However, there’s a reason why it is considered a dark practice nowadays. The demons were not easily controlled and often ended up possessing the person who summoned them. The journal talks about a wizard, Adalbert Sigeweard, who created a ritual to separate the demon soul from the possessed individual. A banishing spell then sent the demon back where it came from and the affected person was left unharmed.” Explained Dumbledore in a lecturing tone.

Severus took Harry’s hand and entwined their fingers. “The Dark Lord is obviously not a demon.” He said and continued, ignoring Harry’s cynical snort. “The banishing spell, therefore, won’t remove his soul. I assume you have found an appropriate spell?”

The headmaster smiled assuredly, the twinkle returning to his blue eyes. “I have modified the banishing spell, though it is exceedingly complex. The spell must be cast within seconds of the soul separating ritual which means the timing is crucial. Also, this particular spell must be cast from within Harry’s mind with the utmost caution to prevent accidental expelling of Harry’s soul as well.”

Harry was staring at him with wide eyes. That didn’t sound like something he was willing to try.

Squeezing his fingers tightly, Severus sneered at the headmaster. “You were planning this all along, weren’t you, Albus? Pressuring me to teach Harry occlumency to familiarize myself with his mind, encouraging my inappropriate feelings towards a student to ensure your chess pieces moved in a way you desired.”

Dumbledore’s eyes hardened a little, his voice offended. “Now, Severus, you know very well there was no one else more suitable or capable of teaching Harry. It was of the utmost importance he would learn how to protect his mind from Voldemort. Furthermore, your resulting closeness to Harry is undoubtedly beneficial to you both.”

 

Severus scoffed at him and Harry bowed his head, not sure if Severus was only mad at the headmaster or if he felt his whole relationship with Harry had been forced.

These last few months had been the happiest in Harry’s life, spending time with Severus and getting to know the normally grouchy potions master, being able to witness his softer side and enjoy the intimacy of their quiet moments.

 

All of a sudden, the headmaster stood up. “Come see me tomorrow, Severus. We will study the ritual and the expelling spell together as they can’t be both performed by the same person. The ritual also requires a special potion that you will need to brew.” He said in a formal tone.

Stepping closer, he put his hand on Harry’s head, his voice softening when he spoke next. “All will end well, Harry, don’t lose hope. Professor Snape and I will do everything in our power to help you.”

Harry looked up at him and nodded, not sure what to say.

Severus was glaring at Dumbledore but inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement of their future meeting. The headmaster then left, quietly closing the door behind him.

 

Harry sat still, looking down at his hands and wondering if this was the end of his relationship with Severus. That thought actually scared him more than having a piece of Voldemort lodged in his head.

Suddenly he found himself in a tight embrace, with Severus’s face buried in his hair. Hugging him back just as tightly, Harry mumbled against Severus’s chest.

“I’m sorry you were forced to teach me occlumency, to spend time with me.” He whispered the last part sadly.

“Harry.” Releasing his hold a little, Severus lifted Harry’s chin, gazing at him reverently. “I may have been pushed to teach you but I have never felt obligated to spend time with you. Quite the opposite, really. I still find it difficult to comprehend why you would save your affections for someone like me.”

“I…”

Harry’s words were interrupted by a tender kiss, Severus’s hand softly caressing his cheek. When they parted, Harry asked self-consciously. “You don’t mind that there’s a piece of Voldemort’s soul in me? That I’m tainted by his evil magic?”

“Don’t say that.” Severus held Harry’s cheek, looking into his eyes with a burning intensity. “Harry, you are one of the purest, most virtuous people I have ever known. If anyone is tainted in this relationship, it is me.” He said, pulling up his left sleeve and showing Harry the Dark Mark.

“I am forever marked, carrying the evidence of my disgrace caused by my own foolishness.”

Harry leaned closer, covering the Dark Mark with his hand. “I don’t see it like that. I admire your strength and courage, going back to Voldemort regularly to help the Light Side defeat him in the end. You are the bravest man I have ever known.” He said sincerely, losing himself once again in those gorgeous dark eyes.

“Harry.” Severus murmured, capturing the teen’s lips in a more heated kiss this time, his tongue seeking the permission to enter Harry’s mouth.

 

Harry responded immediately, his lips parting as he let the questing tongue dominate the kiss and taste him thoroughly.

Suddenly, Severus put his arms around Harry’s waist and pulled him in his lap, making the teen straddle him. Harry moaned when their clothed erections met, grinding down his hips against Severus’s groin.

Their kisses were getting more frantic now, exploring each other’s mouths hungrily. Severus’s hands were roaming all over Harry’s body, slipping under his t-shirt and caressing the flushed skin, eliciting loud moans and whimpers from the aroused teen.

The kiss broke when Severus pulled Harry’s head to the side, nipping and licking his way to Harry’s ear. Harry’s back arched in pleasure, the gentle licks sending delicious shivers down his spine.

He knotted his fingers in Severus’s long hair, his head thrown back as he let the older man taste his skin. When Severus reached Harry’s ear and sucked the earlobe into his mouth, Harry moaned loudly, his hips thrusting in a more rapid rhythm.

 

Severus groaned lowly at a particularly hard thrust, sliding his hands in the back of Harry’s trousers and pants and firmly kneaded the teen’s bare buttocks.

Harry was beyond aroused now, Severus would usually end their make-out session when it got heated like this but today he seemed to be unable to stop.

Releasing the teen’s earlobe, Severus once again covered Harry’s mouth with his own, his hands squeezing Harry’s arse to maintain the fast thrusting rhythm. Harry felt the strong hands holding and kneading his arse cheeks, the long fingers slipping lower and lower, as far as they could go with Harry still wearing his clothes.

When one hand managed to touch Harry’s balls and a long finger slid along his crack in a soft caress, Harry let out a high keening sound and came harder than ever before. His whole body shook from the intense orgasm, amplified by the fact that Severus was still thrusting his hips against him.

Sucking Harry’s tongue into his mouth, Severus snapped his hips a few more times before coming with a long groan. Harry watched fascinated as his face changed in pleasure, the harsh features softening and making him look years younger.

 

When they finally stopped moving, Harry slumped against Severus, feeling completely boneless. He felt the hands withdraw from his trousers and a moment later the tingling sensation of a cleansing charm on his skin.

They sat in silence for a long time, cuddling and enjoying the afterglow. The hand carding through his hair suddenly stilled and Harry moved to be able to see Severus’s face.

Severus was watching him with an intense expression, his dark eyes boring into Harry’s.

“I love you, Harry.” He murmured unexpectedly.

Harry’s eyes went wide as he gaped at him in astonishment. A bubble of happiness burst inside his chest, filling his stomach with butterflies and leaving him completely light-headed.

His face lit up with the goofiest grin as he answered. “I love you, too, Severus.”

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

 

 

Severus hurried out of the castle, his forearm burning painfully. It was the first time he had been summoned since his unfortunate visit in September, the Dark Lord perhaps giving him time to convince Dumbledore of his allegiance.

Apparating as soon as he left the Hogwarts wards, Severus followed the pull of the Dark Mark all the way to the Dark Lord’s study. Not a full meeting then, he mused when he entered the office, falling to his knees instantly.

“My Lord.”

Voldemort was sitting with a quill in hand, writing on a parchment so long it was almost rolling off the desk. He didn’t look up but spoke in a quiet, high-pitched voice.

“Severus. Any news from the old fool?”

“No, my Lord.” Severus glanced up covertly but Voldemort was still bent over the parchment. “There has been but one Order meeting so far with nothing to report. Dumbledore finds the lack of any Death Eater activity highly unnerving.”

Making sure his occlumency shields were at their fullest, Severus pushed the forged or edited memories and thoughts to the surface should the Dark Lord try to test him with a surprise legilimency attack.

Voldemort chuckled softly and finally looked up, the red eyes glinting malevolently. “Good. Let the old fool grow complacent and we will strike when he least expects it! You will tell him I am biding my time and preparing an attack on Hogwarts. That should keep him busy enough.”

“Yes, my Lord.” Severus bowed his head as a sign of servitude, speculating about the Dark Lord’s true agenda.

 

Voldemort put his quill down and held out the parchment, beckoning Severus closer. Not sure if he was allowed to stand up from his kneeling position, Severus awkwardly shuffled to the desk. He was not about to risk getting hit by cruciatus for walking upright.

“Here is a list of potions you will brew for me, Severus. You have one month to complete this task. Should you fail, the consequences will be dire.” Said Voldemort in that eerily quiet voice.

Severus unrolled the parchment, his eyes quickly scanning the potions’ names. Healing and rejuvenating potions in large quantities, the strongest version of a pain potion, numbing potions and an unknown potion which Severus didn’t recognize.

“My Lord, this last potion is most unusual. Some of the ingredients will not be easily obtained.” Trying to keep the curiosity out of his voice, Severus subtly glanced around, memorizing the titles of books lying on the Dark Lord’s desk.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes and hissed angrily. “Are you questioning me, Severus? Doubting your lord?”

He pointed his yew wand at Severus who bowed his head in submission. “No, my Lord. I would never…”

He was interrupted by a hissed. “Legilimens!”

Gasping at the overwhelming presence in his mind, Severus pushed forth the feelings of genuine curiosity, his thirst for knowledge and the passion for brewing. He felt Voldemort withdraw after a while, exiting his mind in a slightly less violent manner than before.

“I see you appreciate the challenge I have set before you. You shan’t be punished for your professional curiosity, Severus. Serve me well and I will provide you with the world’s rarest ingredients, allow you to brew the most challenging potions.” Voldemort’s voice was quiet again, his temper seemingly soothed by whatever he saw in Severus’s mind.

Severus bowed even lower, kissing the hem of Voldemort’s robes. “Thank you, my Lord.” He said, infusing his voice with a false devotion.

 

“You may rise.” Voldemort stepped around him and walked to a black side table standing under the window.

Following him with his eyes, Severus noticed a rather large package.

Voldemort picked it up carefully, holding it out to Severus. “Here are your ingredients, my faithful servant. Use them well.”

“Thank you, my Lord. I will not fail you.” Severus took the package, schooling his face into an awed reverence.

He startled when a bony hand touched his bowed head. Suppressing the shivers of disgust, Severus stood quietly until the hand moved away.

“You may leave. You will bring the potions when I summon you next time.” Voldemort returned to his desk, not paying the astonished potions master any more attention.

Severus backed out of the room, silently closing the door and wondering about the Dark Lord’s unusually cordial behaviour.

 

Pleased he hasn’t been cursed this time, Severus swiftly made his way through the manor. He didn’t see any Death Eaters, not even Pettigrew and he soon reached the edge of the wards.

Glancing around himself before apparating, he noticed that the village of Little Hangleton was atypically dark, only a few lights flickering somewhere far away. Curious, Severus cast a disillusionment charm on himself and walked towards the village, the package with ingredients securely wedged under his left arm.

The closer he got to the village, the colder the air around him. His breath became visible, coming out in puffs of white mist and his fingers were quickly becoming numb from the biting cold.

Suddenly, a feeling of an overwhelming despair threatened to breach his occlumency shields and Severus became aware of the dark figures in hooded cloaks, gliding noiselessly through the streets. He could hear their rattling breaths, sucking in the air together with every good and happy feeling they could taste in their surroundings. Without hesitation, Severus promptly apparated away.

 

Back at Hogwarts, Severus stored the Dark Lord’s ingredients in his private lab, once again reading through the provided list. The regular potions could all be brewed within a few days, the unknown potion, however, had a brewing time of three weeks.

The recipe was neatly written in the Dark Lord’s cursive handwriting. The name of the potion was, on the other hand, unreadable.

Severus didn’t recognize the strangely coiled letters which appeared to be the variations of only one sign.

Taking the list with him, he left his rooms and made his way towards the headmaster’s office.

He still hasn’t forgiven Albus for his meddling tendencies even though Harry had tried to convince him to focus on their resulting relationship. The boy was too kind and Severus couldn’t help but appreciate his soft heart.

The heart that he had somehow won over, a fact that has repeatedly left Severus speechless.

He’s been vigorously studying the spell that would expel the Dark Lord’s soul shard from Harry’s mind and body, not allowing himself even the tiniest shred of doubt that it might not work. Harry was trusting him, in more than one way and Severus would give his last breath to fulfil the promise of never betraying that precious trust.

 

Knocking twice before opening the door, Severus entered the headmaster’s office and found himself face to face with the very object of his thoughts.

Harry was sitting on a visitor’s chair opposite of the headmaster’s desk, grinning at him happily.

“Ah, Severus. Come in, my boy. Tea?” Asked Albus, summoning a second chair for Severus.

“Albus. Harry.” Severus nodded to Albus and smiled softly at Harry, taking his hand as soon as he sat down.

Harry beamed at him, his cheeks flushing prettily. The headmaster handed him a teacup and refilled Harry’s as well.

“You look well, my boy. Any unfortunate consequences of your visit with Voldemort?” Albus asked, sitting back down behind his desk.

Severus felt Harry squeezing his hand tightly, a worried expression on the beautiful face. He caressed the boy’s palm with his thumb in a reassuring gesture and turned to Albus.

“No, the Dark Lord was in a rather peculiar mood today. He even patted my head.” Severus shuddered as he recalled that particular feeling and quickly recounted his meeting with the Dark Lord.

“I then decided to investigate the village because such dense darkness was surely not natural.” He continued with his story, having Harry’s and the headmaster’s full attention. “I have quickly discovered the cause, the village was infested with the Dementors. I have counted at least ten of them before apparating away.”

Harry grimaced, a visible shiver running through his body. “Ugh, I hate those.” He said.

Albus nodded at him understandingly and then his expression turned thoughtful. “That is most unexpected.” He responded to Severus. “Voldemort must realize they are near his manor which brings me to a conclusion that he has ordered them there. But for what reason?”

Severus set down the teacup and reached into his pocket, pulling out a rolled up parchment. “Your guess is as good as mine, Albus. Many of the potions the Dark Lord ordered me to brew can be used to nurse back to full health someone who had suffered an inordinately long exposure to the Dementors. He had required similar potions before the mass breakout from Azkaban last year.”

Albus took the potions list, reading it carefully and making notes on a spare parchment.

Harry was watching him with his head tilted slightly to the side, a gesture Severus thought was beyond endearing when he suddenly blurted out. “Maybe he wants to break out Lucius Malfoy! He probably misses the blond git.”

Severus turned to Harry with a small smirk on his lips, as always amused by the boy’s penchant for speaking his mind in a blunt manner. Harry shrugged his shoulders, grinning unapologetically.

“You know, my boy, you might be right. Lucius and his connections at the Ministry, even after his imprisonment, could prove vital to Voldemort’s cause.” Albus nodded at Harry, clearly impressed with the boy’s logic. “But what use could he have for this mysterious potion? What do you deduce from the ingredients, Severus?” He asked, handing the list back to Severus.

 

“It appears to be some kind of binding potion, the Ashwinder eggs are typically used in love potions though that particular effect is here negated by the dragon claw. My guess would be that upon a consummation of this potion the drinker would gain the ability to bind someone or something to him. It appears to be a one-way potion, possibly creating some sort of master and slave dynamic.” Severus explained, frowning at the parchment on his lap.

He was shaken out of his thoughts by a hissing sound coming out of Harry. Looking up at the teen, he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Harry blinked at him. “What?” He asked, glancing at the headmaster and then back at Severus.

Albus smiled, leaning forward in his chair. “My boy, you seemed to be speaking in Parseltongue. I’m afraid we didn’t understand a word you said.”

“Really? I was just reading from that parchment.” Harry said, waving his hand towards the list on Severus’s lap.

Severus suddenly understood why he didn’t recognize the strange squiggly letters. The name of the mysterious potion was written in Parselscript, a written version of Parseltongue.

“Harry, try reading it again and concentrate on saying the words in English.” Severus squeezed the teen’s hand excitedly, eager to find out the potion’s name and hopefully also its purpose.

Harry started hissing again, then closed his eyes and spoke slowly as if translating the words in his head first. “The Houngan Potion of Stealing Souls.”

 

Severus was staring at him, his mind sorting through all the information he has so far collected since Harry’s dream vision of the Dark Lord.

“Houngan was a high priest of the voodoo. His main role was to maintain the relationships between the spirits and the living. Some of the priests were corrupted by their powers to contact the spirits and turned evil, becoming the bokor sorcerers.” He said, thinking out loud. “It appears the Dark Lord has overcome the problem of having to carry the astral zombies’ objects with him by discovering this potion.”

Frowning, Severus recalled the books on the Dark Lord’s desk. “The Dark Lord has been studying the Dark Arts of Soul Energy Absorption as well as the Book of Bokor. I fear he is truly attempting to capture and enslave the souls of his victims.”

Albus was peering at him with a serious expression on his wrinkled face. “That is indeed extremely worrying. Soul magic is dangerous and to tamper with the soul enslavement only shows the great lengths Voldemort is willing to go to. Sadly, it is hardly surprising considering what he had done to his own soul.”

“Indeed.” Nodded Severus, glancing at Harry when he felt the teen fidget with his fingers.

Harry’s forehead was furrowed as if he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle. “But how does it work? And why would he want to enslave the souls of the dead people?” He asked bewildered.

The headmaster smoothed out the parchment on his desk, writing down some more notes and then looking up at Harry. “We can only guess at this point, my boy. As Severus explained, the potion would enable Voldemort to bind the souls to him. I assume he would need to use a spell or a ritual to actually make that happen.”

“That still seems a little too far-fetched but you are probably right, Albus.” Severus was once again contemplating everything he has learned about the voodoo. “Nevertheless, I cannot fathom how he would solve the problem of having to extract one soul at a time. To channel the multiple souls’ energy he would need to contain them somehow.”

“Indeed, my boy. We have to prepare for all the possibilities and try to stay one step ahead of him. If I’m correct in my calculations, two more Horcruxes remain apart from Harry. One of them is Voldemort’s snake and would have to be destroyed as last. Harry’s visions have confirmed this theory when he experienced Arthur Weasley’s attack through the snake’s eyes.”

 

Severus inclined his head in agreement, giving Albus his full attention. Once the Horcruxes were destroyed and the one in Harry expelled, the Dark Lord would finally be mortal again. Severus realized that according to the prophecy, Harry would have to be the one to deliver the killing blow. He couldn’t even imagine what kind of impact would such an evil act have on Harry’s gentle soul but he knew he would support the green-eyed teen all the way.

“And the other Horcrux?” He asked.

“Ah, that would be another of my theories that would perhaps soon be proven right. You see, taking in consideration Voldemort’s obvious obsession with Hogwarts, I believe he was trying to collect all of the relics of the Hogwarts’ founders. He succeeded in obtaining the locket of Slytherin, the diadem of Ravenclaw and I suspect also the cup created by Helga Hufflepuff.” Albus’s eyes were twinkling merrily as he winked at Harry.

“With Harry’s help, I was able to talk to Kreacher. The old house-elf is beyond loyal to the Black family, however, he seemed to have recently developed a soft spot for Harry and divulged that many years ago, Bellatrix Lestrange has been given a small golden cup for safekeeping. She had been apparently boasting in front of her family that she was the Dark Lord’s most loyal servant and he honoured her by entrusting her this priceless relic.”

Harry snorted, muttering under his breath. “The most loyal and the craziest for sure.” He grinned when Severus looked at him.

“Quite.” Replied Severus with a smirk of his own.

They were gazing into each other’s eyes, sitting so close together that their thighs touched whenever one of them moved.

Severus studied the green orbs, even hidden behind the glasses still utterly mesmerizing and felt the exciting tension starting to build between them. Harry licked his lips and suddenly all Severus could think about was wanting to chase that pink tongue with his own, to taste those delicious lips and make them part in a breathy moan.

Softly caressing Harry’s hand, he ran his fingers over the thin wrist, gently pressing against the pulse point. Harry’s heart was beating rapidly and Severus longed to kiss the boy’s throat and feel that fluttering heartbeat pulsing against his lips.

Completely lost in their own little world, they both startled when Albus cleared his throat delicately.

“Well then, I believe we shall end our meeting here. Harry, please come see me immediately when you hear from Kreacher. Hopefully, he’ll be able to find out what Bellatrix did with the cup.”

The headmaster stood up and walked to the door, holding them open. “I wish you both a pleasant evening.” He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling happily.

“Albus.” Severus inclined his head, letting Harry precede him out of the door, his hand gently touching the teen’s lower back.

“Bye, sir.” Smiling, Harry waved and stepped on the circular staircase outside the headmaster’s office.

They stood still as the moving staircase descended, Severus behind Harry and the potions master suddenly didn’t want the evening to end just yet.

Leaning closer, he whispered into Harry’s ear. “Come to my rooms with me, Harry. Just for a while.” He gently kissed the small ear, revelling in Harry’s quiet moan.

“Yes.” Murmured Harry as he rested his head against Severus’s shoulder.

He looked so tempting, so beautiful and Severus couldn’t wait to worship that beauty with his lips.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to end the chapter here but I will try to make it up to you in the next one :)
> 
> Thank you all for your support, lovely comments and kudos ♥ ♥ ♥


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, nothing really happens plotwise, just some slashy goodness :)
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it ♥

 

 

 

Severus led them through the castle’s hallways, walking slower than usual to make sure Harry, who was hidden under his invisibility cloak, could keep up.

There weren’t many students loitering around this late on Sunday evening and Severus and his invisible shadow soon reached the potions master’s private quarters. Severus held the door open for Harry, following him inside.

“Hi.” Smiled Harry after pulling the cloak off, his hair even more adorably messy.

Severus lay his robes over the back of an armchair and stepped closer, taking Harry’s hand and pulling him to sit down on the couch.

“Beautiful.” He murmured as he softly caressed the teen’s flushed cheeks, enjoying the warm skin under his fingertips.

Harry was looking at him, the green eyes shining like two emeralds in the half-lit room, the flames from the fireplace reflecting on the lenses of his glasses. Severus carefully took off the round spectacles, laying them on the coffee table before softly tracing the teen’s face with fluttering kisses.

He kissed Harry’s forehead first, lingering on the jagged scar and pressing his lips against the rougher skin repeatedly. Moving lower, he gently pecked both closed eyelids, admiring the long eyelashes that were fanned out against the flushed cheeks.

Severus worshipped Harry’s face with soft, barely there kisses and even after almost six months together he still felt astonished that Harry had chosen him of all people.

 

Finally pressing his lips against Harry’s, Severus’s left hand found its way to the teen’s messy hair while his right arm encircled the slim waist. Pulling Harry closer, Severus deepened the kiss and groaned at the sweet taste of chocolate that Harry has been munching on in the headmaster’s office.

His tongue explored every nook and cranny of that sweet mouth, pleasant little electric shocks running through his body whenever his and Harry’s tongues touched.

Suddenly, Severus could feel two hands touching him, running up and down his chest tentatively as if afraid he would slap them away. The thin material of his shirt was the only barrier that separated him from Harry’s warm hands and Severus groaned loudly when a finger lightly grazed against his nipple. Spurred on by his reaction, Harry became bolder and increased the pressure of his hands, one of them creeping suspiciously lower and lower.

Afraid he would lose his self-control if Harry touched his crotch, he lifted the teen’s leg and pushed him lightly until he was lying down. Kneeling between Harry’s legs, Severus carefully lowered himself to cover the teen with his own body, his long legs hanging over the edge of the sofa.

Harry moaned when their erections met, arching his back and wrapping his arms around Severus’s shoulders. They kissed again, more passionately this time and Harry lifted his hips to create some friction between them.

Leaning on one elbow to keep his weight off Harry, Severus used the other hand to explore the teen’s torso. His fingers easily slipped under the loose t-shirt, making Harry moan and arch into his touch, the messy haired head tilting slightly to the side and breaking their kiss.

Severus took this opportunity to worship the teen’s throat, pressing his lips against the fluttering pulse point just like he wanted to do earlier. Kissing his way down to the collarbone, licking the sensitive skin and eliciting wonderful little moans and whimpers from Harry was turning Severus into a wild animal. He could feel his arousal building steadily, thrumming through his veins like a storm and clouding his mind with passion.

 

Wanting more still, he pushed Harry’s t-shirt up, revealing the taut stomach and lean chest with two pink nipples hardened into little peaks. Severus scooted lower, feeling Harry’s erection pressing into his stomach and brushed his lips against one of the hardened nubs teasingly.

Harry shivered and bucked his hips and Severus repeated his action, this time placing little playful kisses all around the nipple area. Harry was moaning quietly, his hands tangled in Severus’s long hair and his hips thrusting up against his older lover.

Severus groaned excitedly and unable to stop himself, he slowly let his hand slide down Harry’s body.

Starting with a gentle caress of the beloved face, moving lower to brush against the Adam's apple, down the middle of the lean chest and muscled stomach, playfully dipping his finger in the belly button and eliciting a soft giggle from the messy haired teen.

Only to be turned into a lustful moan when Severus finally palmed Harry’s erection, rubbing it gently through the teen’s trousers. Harry’s hips bucked again as Severus explored the hard length with his fingers, squeezing and rubbing it teasingly until he felt Harry pulling on his hair.

“Please.” The teen whimpered, his whole body arching towards the other man.

Severus captured the luscious lips again, swallowing Harry’s moans when his deft fingers unbuttoned the teen’s trousers and slid inside his pants.

Severus nearly exploded himself when he touched the silky skin, so hot and hard against his palm. He could feel the tip slick with pre-come, rubbing his thumb around it in small circles. Harry was moaning continuously now, his legs subconsciously spreading further apart to let Severus closer.

The potions master was clinging to the last vestiges of self-control, wanting nothing more than to rip the teen’s clothes off, swallow him to the root and make him come, milk him dry to the last drop and then bury himself in the teen’s tight heat.

Groaning, he let his head drop against Harry’s chest, taking one nipple into his mouth and nibbling on it teasingly. His hand was flying up and down the teen’s silky arousal in a rapid rhythm, his own hips firmly pressed against the cushions he was lying on.

He felt Harry’s hands grip his shoulders tightly, the blunt nails biting through his shirt but the slight pain only increased Severus’s desire to experience Harry writhing underneath him as he claimed the teen’s most secret place.

 

Harry bucked his hips again and then stilled and Severus knew he was getting close. Lifting his head, he watched with fascination as Harry’s body arched in a taut bow, his face scrunching in pleasure and lips parting to let out a long, keening moan as he spilt himself all over Severus’s hand.

Severus held him close, his hand still moving to prolong Harry’s orgasm as much as possible. When the teen finally stilled, Severus gently withdrew his hand.

Harry was watching him with half-lidded eyes, looking completely relaxed as he lay there with a silly smile on his face. Holding the green eyes with his own, Severus slowly lifted the sticky hand to his mouth, licking his fingers off one by one.

Harry’s mouth fell open in wonder and he watched Severus avidly, the green eyes darkening with renewed passion.

Once his hand was clean again, Harry pulled him down to a passionate kiss, moaning when he tasted himself on Severus’s tongue. Severus startled when a hand fumbled with his fly.

He grabbed the teen’s wrist to stop him, murmuring softly. “You don’t have to.”

Harry was gazing at him intensely, his pupils dilated in desire. “Please, I want to touch you, too.” He whispered.

 

Severus was still rock hard and the whispered confession only caused more blood run towards his crotch. Releasing the teen’s wrist, he watched Harry’s face heatedly and groaned when the questing fingers reached his erection.

The first touches were tentative, gauging his reactions and Severus leaned his head closer, hiding his face in Harry’s hair and moaning softly into the teen’s ear.

He felt the small hand envelop him in a firmer hold, starting to pump him in a steady rhythm. Severus was already embarrassingly close, teetering on the edge of orgasm ever since he first touched Harry’s silky hardness, fitting so perfectly into his palm as if they were always meant to be together.

Harry wriggled under him, scooting a bit lower and Severus was about to ask if he was too heavy when he felt a second hand worming its way into his pants.

Leaning on his elbows and panting heavily, Severus felt the curious fingers softly graze against his balls, the blunt fingernails gently scratching and sending delicious shivers down his spine. Severus moaned louder, his hips rocking on their own accord and pushing his rock hard arousal through the circle of Harry’s hand, already completely wet from the copious amount of pre-come.

Severus groaned when the fingers pressed against his perineum, his heavy balls resting on the small palm and moved his head to kiss Harry again, his tongue imitating the rocking motion of his hips.

Harry moaned into the kiss, doubling his effort as he pumped Severus rapidly and soon Severus felt the tingling sensation that started in his belly and slowly spread itself through his whole body.

With a moaned ‘Harry!’ he came, shooting his load all over Harry’s hands as he kept thrusting his hips until the end. Only then, completely spent, did he stop moving and lifted his head to kiss Harry tenderly on the lips.

 

“Thank you.” He murmured, gently caressing the teen’s soft hair.

Harry smiled into the kiss, his eyes bright and shiny, watching Severus with a loving expression on his face.

“I love you, Severus.” He whispered and Severus’s heart soared again, filled with joy and happiness and most importantly with love.

His love for Harry.

“I love you, Harry.” He replied, pressing another kiss to those tempting lips.

After a few more gentle kisses, Severus cast a cleansing charm on them both but not before Harry licked his fingers tentatively, tasting the salty fluid.

Severus watched him hungrily, memorizing the image for later and smirked when the teen nodded his head approvingly.

 

Later, they lay on the sofa, facing each other and exchanging little kisses and gentle touches, huddled together under a blanket Severus had summoned to keep away the dungeon’s chill.

It wasn’t long before they both drifted off to sleep, never noticing the old house-elf that popped into the room and left a small golden cup in the middle of the coffee table.

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

 

 

Harry stirred when he felt a hand combing through his hair. Stretching out lazily like a cat, he blinked sleepily at Severus.

“Wake up, Harry. You need to return to your dormitory, it is well past your curfew.” Severus handed him the glasses and helped him sit up.

“Okay.” Mumbled Harry with a jaw-breaking yawn.

Blinking owlishly to clear the sleep out of his eyes, he took in the potions master’s unusually dishevelled state. The memory of their earlier activities flashed through Harry’s mind and he smiled, his heart bursting with love.

“Come, I will walk you to…” Severus turned away from the couch and froze, making Harry jump up in worry.

“What? What is it?”

He stood next to Severus, anxiously watching his face and then following his line of sight. He didn’t see anything suspicious at first but then his eyes fell on a small golden goblet in the middle of the coffee table.

“Is that…?” Scrunching up his face, Harry leaned closer and studied the engraved badger on the side of the cup. Two yellow gemstones replaced the badger’s eyes, glistening in the light of the fireplace and enhancing the overall golden look of the small goblet.

Humming softly, Severus also leaned closer. “Indeed, the cup of Helga Hufflepuff. Perhaps you should call your house-elf back, he appears to be more efficient than I would have suspected.” He quirked an eyebrow at Harry, making the teen chuckle.

 

“Kreacher!”

A soft pop announced the old house-elf even before Harry managed to pronounce his whole name.

“Master Harry.” The elf bowed and looked up with an indulgent expression on the wrinkled face.

Ever since Harry stood up for him, Kreacher has found a new purpose in life. Dressed in a clean, crisp white tea towel with a small emblem of the Black family on the left side of his chest, Kreacher was the picture of a pureblood family house-elf.

And even though his most beloved Master Regulus was dead, the old house-elf recognized many similarities between him and master Harry, thus deciding to adopt his new master and serve him well.

“Hello, Kreacher.” Harry smiled at him, seeing Severus subtly roll his eyes.

The potions master often commented on Harry’s unique friendship with all house-elves, making a quick visit to the Hogwarts’ kitchens virtually impossible because Harry would stop and talk to every one of them.

“Thank you for bringing the cup so quickly. Where did you find it?”

Kreacher sniffed slightly, bowing down to tie Harry’s shoelaces and muttering something under his breath.

Glancing at Severus with a puzzled look, Harry startled when Kreacher’s magic straightened his clothes. “Umm, sorry Kreacher, I didn’t understand what you said?”

 

Severus stepped closer to Harry, towering above the old house-elf in a distinctively menacing way until the teen took his hand, pleading with his eyes. He knew the potions master loved to cow others into submission but he had a feeling it would not work with Kreacher.

Rolling his eyes again, Severus sat down on the sofa with a huff.

The house-elf glared at the potions master’s feet before turning back to his master. “Kreacher has followed Mistress Bellatrix to her new home but the mistress is not having any important possessions there. All her valuables be locked in her vault in Gringotts.”

Harry gaped at him, astonished. “You broke into Gringotts? Wicked!”

“Don’t be absurd, Harry. Gringotts is heavily guarded and impossible to break into.” Scoffed Severus.

Harry looked at him with a righteous indignation. “Not impossible! Voldemort did it before my first year! He tried to steal the Philosopher’s Stone but Hagrid took it out of the vault earlier that day. I know it, I was there!” His temper flared up but died again just as quickly when Severus pulled him into a side hug.

“My apologies.” He whispered into the teen’s hair, pressing a soft kiss against his temple. “I stand corrected.”

Glancing to his left, Harry could see Severus was watching him with a small smirk, apparently more amused than upset by his reaction.

 

Harry blushed, looking back at Kreacher. “Sorry, Kreacher. You were saying?”

“Mistress Walburga was often bringing Kreacher to Gringotts and when she couldn’t walk anymore, she be sending Kreacher alone to pick up things for her. Master Harry is being the Head of the House Black now and all main vaults are open to him and the vault of Mistress Bellatrix is just next to one. Kreacher be popping in and out quickly until he be finding the cup for Master Harry.” The house-elf explained, all the while trying to polish Harry’s scuffed trainers.

Harry didn’t have the heart to tell him the muggle shoes were strangely resistant to magic.

“So a house-elf can just pop into Gringotts without any trouble? How come more people don’t use this to break in?” Harry asked, bewildered.

It was true that many wizards underestimated the house-elf magic but still, he would have thought somebody would have figured it out by now.

Severus shook his head, answering thoughtfully. “I don’t think that is quite how it works, Harry. I am fairly certain Kreacher had to be attuned to the Black family vault before he was able to enter it at will.”

Kreacher bowed when Harry looked at him questioningly. “Mistress Walburga had cut Kreacher’s hand and his blood was tied to the Black Family gold. Kreacher may only enter the vaults and take out money or items with his master’s permission. Without permission the blood curse kills Kreacher.”

“Oh.” Harry didn’t much like the sound of that. “So you can’t enter any other vaults? How did you get into Bellatrix’s then?”

“Kreacher can only enter the Black’s vaults of Master Harry but Kreacher was being in the vault of Mistress Bellatrix before when she was needing help bringing in many golds. Kreacher’s magic remembered the way and the blood curse be not activating there.” The house-elf looked quite pleased with himself.

Harry looked at him in horror. “You risked your life not knowing if the curse will or will not kill you?”

“Master Harry be needing the cup. Kreacher is getting the cup for Master Harry. Master Harry is happy?” The old house-elf seemed to be getting confused and Harry felt Severus squeeze his hand.

“Yes, Kreacher, your master is very happy you have found and brought the cup.” He said, nudging Harry slightly with his elbow.

Harry blinked and smiled at Kreacher again. “Yes, Kreacher, thank you! But next time, please come to me before you risk your life. I don’t want you getting hurt or worse.” He gently patted the surprised elf’s shoulder, dismissing him quickly before the poor creature had a heart attack from being handled as a wizard’s equal.

 

“Well, that went well.” Said Harry when Kreacher disappeared.

“Quite.” Smirking, Severus made them stand up and ushered Harry to the door, picking up his invisibility cloak on the way. “Hurry up to your dormitory, Harry. I will take the cup to Albus, he will make sure it’s dealt with quickly.”

Pressing a gentle kiss on the teen’s lips before throwing the cloak over his head, Severus opened the door to let Harry leave.

“Good night, Severus.” Whispered Harry and stepped into the drafty corridor.

Just before the door closed behind him, he heard a softly murmured. “Good night, beautiful.”

Harry raced towards the Gryffindor Tower with a silly grin on his face.

 

The next two weeks were fairly uneventful for Harry. He attended classes, visited Severus for his occlumency lessons and a little private together time afterwards and spent the rest of the time with his two best friends who were slowly driving him crazy.

Though Ron and Hermione were dating now, they were quite happy to include Harry whenever they were studying (which was a lot because Hermione wouldn’t let them slack) or just hanging around.

They kept badgering him about his secret boyfriend and his identity and Harry could already recite their arguments word by word.

“Come on, mate, why can’t you tell us? It’s been months already!” Ron would say, trying to sway Harry with a puppy-eyed look.

“You know we can keep a secret, Harry. It’s not like we are going to announce your relationship at the Great Hall during dinner or something.” Hermione tried to reason with him logically.

 

But Harry was unbreakable. As much as he loved his friends and wanted to share everything with them, he wouldn’t risk Severus’s life for his own selfish little needs. He was hoping that one day if he’d survive the last fight with Voldemort, he would tell them the whole truth.

He couldn’t even confide in them about the soul shard hidden inside of his own very soul for fear of that information somehow getting to Voldemort.

And so he put up with their questions, managing to distract them most of the time and enjoying the carefree conversations about Quidditch with Ron and accepting the help with homework from Hermione.

 

On a Saturday morning, almost two weeks after Kreacher brought him the Hufflepuff’s cup, Harry was on his way to Severus’s quarters.

The potions master had asked him to come down the previous evening when he once again spent almost an hour strengthening Harry’s occlumency shields and familiarizing himself further with the teen’s mind.

Harry knocked on the dark door, slipping inside as soon as it opened. Severus greeted him with a quick kiss and led him towards his private lab.

“Come, Harry. The potion is almost ready for your contribution.” The potions master’s long robe billowed behind him as he quickly entered the small lab.

He had several cauldrons set up and brewing, most of them the standard size or just a little bit bigger. One cauldron, in particular, captured Harry’s attention, standing on a side table and surrounded by a visible containment shield the potions masters used while brewing the most delicate or volatile potions. The cauldron was yellowish white and looked almost wooden and Harry was sure he has never seen such a strange cauldron before.

Severus must have noticed him looking because he stopped him from coming closer.

“That is the potion for the Dark Lord.” He said, glancing at Harry carefully.

“Oh.” Harry nodded, remembering the conversation in the headmaster’s office. “The soul stealing one? What kind of cauldron is that? I thought wooden cauldrons are not good for potion’s making?” He asked curiously.

Severus regarded him with an unreadable expression on his face, though his eyes softened when they met Harry’s. “Indeed, The Houngan Potion of Stealing Souls. The brewing process is extremely complicated and the potion requires a unique environment to ripen. Specifically, the human bone.” He watched the teen’s face closely.

Harry felt his eyes grow wide as he comprehended the words. “You mean, that cauldron is made of bones?” Just when he thought Voldemort couldn’t get any creepier.

“Yes, human bones, the cranium to be exact. Two skulls were merged together, ground and polished to create a bowl-like shape. Only the darkest of potions are brewed in these and even the possession of a skull cauldron is punishable by an extended stay in Azkaban.” Severus spoke in his lecturing voice but Harry wasn’t fooled, he could see how much it bothered the composed potions master.

“I hate Voldemort for making you do this. I wish we were rid of him already.” Harry hugged Severus tightly, breathing in the comforting scent of spicy oranges and dark chocolate.

Severus hugged him back, kissing the top of his head and then turning him towards the main table.

“This is the potion Albus will use during the soul separating ritual. You will need to add exactly seven drops of your blood when I tell you. Be very careful, the smallest mistake may alter the function of the potion entirely.”

Harry nodded, watching the dark brown potion bubble slowly as Severus adjusted the heat.

 

The potions master had already explained this potion was needed during the ritual which the headmaster would perform to separate Voldemort’s soul shard from Harry’s own soul.

The headmaster would drink the potion and enter some sort of meditative state, enabling him to see the astral plane while still staying inside his physical body. He would then perform the ritualistic separation of the souls, cleansing Harry’s soul of all parasitic influences.

Harry’s blood in the potion would ensure the right soul was being cleansed. As soon as the ritual was complete, the headmaster would signal Severus and the potions master would enter Harry’s mind, casting the expelling spell on the loose soul shard.

Dumbledore had explained to Harry he had already prepared a special ritual chamber for them to use, casting all sorts of shielding spells to prevent the expelled soul shard from latching on someone else.

Harry’s head was spinning by the time his two professors stopped talking, trying to understand all the information and not panic at the same time.

 

He startled out of his thoughts when Severus handed him a small silver dagger.

“Just a small cut will suffice. Remember, no more than seven drops.”

“Okay.” Wincing from the sharp cut, Harry held his left hand above the cauldron and counted out loud when the blood started dripping. “… five, six, seven!”

Quickly pulling his hand away, Harry watched fascinated as the potion changed from dark brown to bright red.

Severus kept stirring the potion, altering between clockwise and anti-clockwise until the colour changed again, this time to dark red. Lowering the flames, he covered the cauldron with a lid and stepped away from the work table.

“The potion needs to simmer for exactly seven days now. After that, it will be finished.” He said, taking Harry’s hand and healing the cut with a wave of his wand.

“Thank you.” Harry smiled, leaning his head against the black-clad chest. “So next week this time we will be ready for the ritual?”

“Indeed. The headmaster wishes to perform the ritual at sunset as it signifies the promise of a new beginning. The astral plane would also be the most accessible during that time.”

“Okay. Just one more week before I’m free.”

Harry turned around, burrowing his face into the dark robes as he hugged Severus again. He felt two strong arms embrace him, one of the hands gently carding through his hair. Severus didn’t speak but Harry guessed what he was thinking.

Until Voldemort was dead, neither of them were truly free.

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

 

Severus carefully sealed the small crate, making sure to apply an unbreakable charm on the vials as well as on the packaging. All the potions for the Dark Lord were now finished and ready to be delivered. Severus suspected he would be summoned sooner rather than later, but he hoped the Dark Lord would indeed wait the whole month before requiring the potions.

Glancing at the almost empty work table, Severus thoughtfully studied the three vials laying there. The dark red coloured potion reminded him too much of blood and he sighed, closing his eyes for a short moment.

Tonight Albus would perform the soul separating ritual and Severus would have the tremendous responsibility of expelling the Dark Lord’s soul from Harry’s body and mind. Thinking about the boy had filled his heart with joy and trepidation in equal measure. He was highly apprehensive about casting the difficult spell from within Harry’s mind, an ominous feeling of dread running through him ever since he woke up that morning.

 

Carefully picking up the three vials, Severus made his way to the headmaster’s office. Stalking through the hallways, he didn’t encounter many students as the majority was enjoying their free weekend in Hogsmeade.

Severus thought about Harry, probably holed up in the library again to allow his best friends the privacy on their date. Perhaps he would look for him after his talk with Albus, a quiet afternoon with Harry would certainly work miracles towards soothing his frazzled nerves.

Knocking on the door, he entered the headmaster’s office. Albus was sitting behind his desk, a large tome open in front of him with a stack of parchments next to it.

“Ah, Severus. I am reviewing the ritual one more time before tonight. I have already informed Minerva we will not be attending dinner at the Great Hall. If you would be so kind to retrieve Harry and meet me down in the ritual chamber at five o’clock. The ritual will start at five-thirty and shouldn’t take more than ten minutes if there aren’t any complications. Then it will be your turn.” Peering at him from above his spectacles, Albus’s face was kind yet serious at the same time.

Severus frowned. “Do you expect complications, Albus?”

“It is best to be prepared for every possibility, my boy. Harry has lived with a foreign soul entwined with his own for fifteen years, we can only guess how it will react to our attempts to remove it.” Replied Albus solemnly.

Inclining his head, Severus pulled out the vials. “Here is the ritual potion, Albus. You have two spare vials should they be required. All of them are unbreakable and charmed to open only to your or my magical signature.”

“I see, my boy. A necessary precaution?”

“The potion contains Harry’s blood as you are well aware. It would not be prudent to endanger his life by being needlessly careless.” Folding his arms across his chest, Severus stared at the headmaster with cold eyes.

Harry’s blood falling into the wrong hands would have disastrous consequences and Severus couldn’t help but feel extremely defensive. The feeling of dread seemed to be intensifying with every passing minute, putting his already frazzled nerves on edge.

Albus nodded, carefully placing the vials into his robe’s pocket. “Of course, I understand completely, dear boy.” He said, standing up and walking towards the door, beckoning Severus to follow. “We still have several hours before sunset, shall we go to the Great Hall for lunch?”

 

Severus spent the whole lunch staring at the Gryffindor table, waiting for the appearance of the messy haired head but Harry never showed up. Barely eating and occluding heavily, he tried in vain to push away the apprehension and the sense of foreboding that filled him every time he thought of Harry today.

Hissing in pain suddenly, he grabbed his left arm as the Dark Mark activated, burning through his skin like fire. He was about to inform Albus when Minerva’s Patronus reached the head table, galloping towards them in high speed.

 

 

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Harry woke up to something tickling his foot. Pulling it under the covers, he giggled when the tickler attacked his other foot instead. He tried to roll away but didn’t get a chance as his best friend suddenly plopped down on his bed.

“Wakey wakey, Harry! Come on, it’s a Hogsmeade day!” Ron called excitedly, stealing Harry’s pillow from under his head.

Harry laughed, trying to shove Ron off the bed. “Arrghh, get off, you beast! Don’t you have a date with Hermione?”

“Sure I do!” Replied the redhead, grinning at Harry’s feeble attempts to shake him off.

“Well, then, go! You don’t need me there, I’ll just hang around here and see you guys when you get back. Bring me some chocolate!” Harry finally managed to sit up and grab his glasses from the nightstand.

“Nope, no can do, mate. You have to come and get it yourself.” Standing up, Ron took Harry’s hand and pulled him upright. “Come on, chop chop! Go take a shower and get dressed, we’ll wait for you in the common room.”

Harry regarded him dubiously. “Are you sure, Ron? I don’t want to mess up your date. I don’t mind staying here, honestly.”

Stepping closer, Ron ruffled the already messy hair. “Of course I’m sure. Hermione and I might be dating but you are still our best friend, Harry. You said it yourself you can’t be seen with your mystery boyfriend yet and we don’t like the idea of you being here in the castle all alone. So come with us, we can hang around, do some shopping and if you want, you can return to the castle after lunch. That way I’ll still have a couple of hours alone with Mione. Alright?” He was watching Harry with a pleading look.

“Oh, alright then.” Harry nodded with a big smile, pleased that his friends would still find a way to include him in their relationship.

“Good! Now hurry up, I’m starving and the breakfast is almost over!” Ron shoved him towards the bathroom unceremoniously, laughing when the messy haired teen flipped him off.

 

The Hogsmeade Village was bustling with life. Hogwarts students were roaming the narrow streets, laughing and joking with their friends, many of them taking the advantage of the unseasonably warm spring day to occupy the benches spread around the small village square.

Harry, Ron and Hermione joined their fellow classmates and were soon caught up in a heated debate about which shop they should visit first. Harry and Ron finally overruled Hermione and dragged her along to the Honeydukes.

The little sweet shop was completely packed, forcing the trio of friends to slowly move with the crowd. Harry felt Ron pull on his sleeve.

“Look over there, Harry! They have the Exploding Bonbons again, do you want to get some?”

Harry nodded eagerly, remembering the dorm competition they had held last year. Whoever would fit the most of exploding bonbons into their mouth would win a large bag of the Honeydukes finest chocolate and sweets. The absolute winner was, in the end, Seamus whose experience with explosions gave him just enough advantage to not shy away from the food blowing up while he ate it. The other boys had crowned him a winner after the Irish boy fitted eight bonbons into his mouth, having to spend a whole weekend in the hospital wing while a grumbling Madam Pomfrey healed and repaired his taste buds.

Hermione was shaking her head as the boys grabbed several boxes of Exploding Bonbons, letting the crowd push them further into the shop. Harry picked up some Sugar Quills (always handy during a long study session), Chocolate Frogs and a bar of the Honeydukes Finest Dark Chocolate which was Severus’s favourite.

After spending almost an hour in the sweet shop, the three friends had decided to visit the Zonko’s next. Of course, the boys had to promise Hermione they would go to a bookstore after that.

The joke shop was only slightly less crowded and the friends had spent most of their time browsing the newest items.

 

Harry had suddenly had a feeling of being watched and looking around, he spied a small group of Slytherins on the other side of the shop. He recognized Pansy Parkinson and Theodore Nott but didn’t know the three older teens standing behind them.

Shaking off the strange feeling, he turned back to Ron and Hermione and was soon lost in their friendly banter.

Tomes and Scrolls, the Hogsmeade bookshop, offered them a small reprieve from the crowds, leaving Hermione ecstatic when she discovered the newest Arithmancy book. She spent some time perusing the books but agreed to join the boys for lunch after Ron pretended to faint from starvation.

“You had breakfast not even three hours ago, Ron.” She tutted, fondly rolling her eyes at the redhead.

Ron grinned, putting an arm around her shoulder. “I’m a growing boy, Mione. Besides, you said it yourself that we need to make sure Harry eats more.”

“Oi!” Harry exclaimed. “I eat enough! Just because I missed dinner a couple of times…” He grumbled under his breath and then squeaked when Ron suddenly picked him up like a toddler.

“You see? I could just carry you around and not even get tired.” Ron laughed and set Harry down once they were out of the shop.

Harry stuck his tongue at him. “That’s because you’re secretly a part giant. Or maybe a troll.” He ran away from the redhead’s reach, snickering.

 

All of a sudden, two arms grabbed him, pulling him into the dark alleyway between the shops. Before he could even reach for his wand, Harry found himself under the full body-bind curse. Unable to move yet still fully conscious, he could hear his friends shouting his name and then arguing with someone.

A crack of apparition sounded somewhere behind Harry, making the person that held him turn him around.

“Potter, this is your lucky day. You get to meet my father.” A voice whispered in his ear.

The dark-clad figure came closer, lowering the cloak’s hood. Harry was staring into a cruel face of an older man he didn’t recognize, that is until the man spoke.

“You have done well, Theodore. Return to the school to keep up appearances. I will take this mudblood off your hands.” He sneered at Harry, grabbing his arms and turning him roughly, his own arm pressed around Harry’s neck.

 

The wicked sneer on a gleeful face of Theo Nott Jr was the last thing Harry saw before his world went dark.

 

 

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Severus stood from his chair, staring at the silvery cat that raced towards the head table. As soon as it reached the headmaster, Minerva’s voice rang through the Great Hall.

_‘Harry Potter has been abducted from Hogsmeade. Suspected Death Eater activity. I am returning to Hogwarts with the rest of the students.’_

Severus felt as if the ground fell from under his feet. No, not Harry! Turning to Albus, he spoke through the gritted teeth due to the increasing pain in his marked arm.

“I am being summoned Albus, I fear the worst.”

The headmaster’s solemn face mirrored his. “Go, Severus. I will gather the Order and follow you.” He said, quickly casting a tracking charm on one of Severus’s buttons. “I will do everything in my power to save Harry, I promise you that.”

The blue eyes regarded him seriously, trying to convey the sincerity of that statement.

Severus nodded, unable to find his voice as his heart constricted in pain. He had to save Harry, had to make sure the boy would get out of this mess alive even if Severus had to die to make it happen. Using the castle’s shortcuts, he hurried to his quarters to pick up his cloak and the potions for the Dark Lord and then raced towards the Forbidden Forest, apparating as soon as he left the wards.

Concentrating on his dark mark, he apparated to the Dark Lord’s current location, all the while praying that Harry was still alive.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for reading, commenting and kudos ♥ ♥ ♥


	28. Chapter 28

 

 

Severus landed in a large clearing surrounded by seemingly dense woods though upon a closer inspection he noticed the dark figures hovering amongst the tall trees. The Dark Lord was standing on the right side of the clearing, the few members of his inner circle who were not dead or imprisoned humbly waiting for his orders.

The gleaming red eyes turned to Severus and he fell down on his knees as soon as he was just a few feet away.

“My Lord.” Bowing his head, he quickly scanned the clearing for any sign of Harry.

“Severus.” The Dark Lord hissed his name angrily. “Have you come empty-handed?”

Cautiously reaching into his robes’ pocket, Severus took out the enchanted crate. “No, my Lord. I have brewed the required potions, my Lord.” He held the crate in front of his face, eyes not lifting from their downcast position.

“Good. You may rise.” The red eyes watched him unnervingly as he offered the crate to the Dark Lord and then joined the rest of the Death Eaters.

 

They were not wearing masks today though Severus would have known their identities even if they were. The cackling Bellatrix Lestrange was impossible to miss as well as the cowering Peter Pettigrew.

The Carrow siblings were wearing identical expressions of worship whenever they looked at the Dark Lord and disdain whenever they looked at anyone else. And finally, the towering presence of Thorfinn Rowle, an enormous, muscled blond, could hardly ever be overlooked.

The Dark Lord was inspecting the contents of the crate, picking up the vials one by one and observing them closely as if judging their quality. Severus sneered mentally, he was not the youngest potions master for nothing. All of his potions were of superior quality.

He was getting restless, where was Harry? It seemed that the Dark Lord didn’t have him after all but then, where could he be? He knew the Dark Lord would take a great pleasure in gloating and torturing the boy if he ever captured him; something that Severus had always hoped to prevent.

He was startled out of his worries by a high-pitched, gleeful voice. “My friends, today shall be marked in history as a day of great significance for the Dark Side. Not only will we free our imprisoned brethren from Azkaban, but today, your Lord will become the greatest sorcerer of all times!”

Bellatrix flung herself at the Dark Lord’s feet, reverently kissing the hem of his robes. “My Lord, you are the greatest! The greatest of them all!”

The lipless mouth stretched in a parody of a smile, the bony hand patting Bellatrix’s wild hair twice. “Yes, my dear Bella, the greatest of them all.” With a wave of his hand, he beckoned Bellatrix back to her place. “Today, you will be privileged to witness your Lord’s ascension to power for your Lord is the only one willing to exploit the very darkest of magic, to push the boundaries no one has ever dared to cross before. And today, the Light Side has provided me with the ultimate sacrifice.” Cackling maniacally, he pointed his wand and with the slightest motion lifted the invisibility spell he had apparently cast before.

 

There, precisely in the middle of the clearing, stood a small, stone altar. Not much larger than a regular coffee table but high enough to be comfortably used while standing, the sides of the altar decorated with a number of carved runes.

Yet that was not the reason why Severus’s blood suddenly froze in his veins. In front of the altar lay an unmoving body of Harry Potter, his unruly hair fanned out on the dewy grass. Standing above him, a wand pointed at the boy’s head, was Thaddeus Nott, the face twisted into a cruel sneer.

“Rejoice in the triumph of the Dark, my friends! Today I shall fulfil the prophecy and become undefeatable!” The Dark Lord walked towards the altar nonchalantly, rolling the yew wand between his bony fingers.

Nott didn’t move from his guarding position but acknowledged his master by a deep bow, earning himself a pat from the skeletal hand.

“You and your son shall be justly rewarded, Thaddeus. You have served me well.”

“My Lord.” Presenting his master with a wand, presumably one belonging to the boy he captured, Nott bowed again and retreated to join the rest of the Death Eaters standing on the side.

 

Severus was watching the proceedings with an impassive face yet his insides were a raging inferno of emotions. Pushing the mind-numbing fear behind the occlumency shields, he scanned the whole area once again, rapidly assessing his options.

First of all, he needed to get closer to Harry. The altar was standing at least fifty feet away and right now the Dark Lord was blocking the boy’s body with his own. Severus realized he wouldn’t stand a chance in an outright fight. The Dark Lord was a master duelist, not to mention Severus would be severely outnumbered. He could only wait and hope that Albus and the Order would arrive soon.

“Harry Potter.” The high-pitched voice carried across the clearing. “The Chosen One. You will not thwart my plans today.” He cackled menacingly, laying the boy’s wand on the stone altar along with something else.

Even from afar, Severus recognized one of his potion’s vials. The Dark Lord must have lifted the body-bind curse from Harry because suddenly the boy’s legs twitched, his body rolling to the side in an attempt to sit up.

Bellatrix clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Wakey, wakey, Potty baby!” She laughed, her eyes wild and crazy as she hopped towards the altar.

The rest of them followed her, unwilling to miss the show or in Severus’s case, wanting to get closer to Harry.

 

The Dark Lord seemed undisturbed, walking around the altar as if he’d just decided it would be a perfect time for a little leisurely stroll. He hissed something in Parseltongue and the tall grass under the trees started moving, slowly revealing his slithering familiar. Nagini glided forward almost noiselessly, her dark scales shimmering in the afternoon sun.

Having walked a whole circle around the altar, the Dark Lord finally stopped in front of Harry, looking down at the boy who was stiffly trying to stand up. Just as he pushed himself to his feet, a cold voice hissed viciously.

“Crucio!”

Alarmed, Severus watched Harry’s body twist under the curse, falling back down on the ground when his feet slipped on the damp grass. Bellatrix was jumping up and down gleefully, cackling like the mad woman she truly was. The other Death Eaters were standing by with wands in their hands, perhaps hoping they too would be allowed to torture the famous Boy Who Lived.

Lifting the curse, the Dark Lord observed Harry with gleaming red eyes, his lipless mouth stretched into a sneer.

“Behold the Saviour of the Light!” He said in a mocking tone, clearly enjoying Bella’s cackling laughter that followed his words. “The Chosen One laying at my feet at last.”

“Only because you’re a coward! Attacking me when I don’t have a wand!” Harry shouted, making the Dark Lord’s eyes narrow dangerously.

If Severus wasn’t consumed by the mind-numbing fear of losing the boy, he would have admired his courage to stand up to the Dark Lord.

Scrambling to his feet, Harry tried to stand up again only to be hit by a leg-locking curse coming from one of the Death Eaters. Stumbling, he fell down on his back, his head missing the sharp corner of the stone altar only by a miracle.

 

The Death Eaters howled with laughter and Severus had to hold himself back with all his might, wanting to kill them all and make sure no one could hurt his Harry ever again.

The Dark Lord, however, was not amused, hissing a cruciatus at Rowle. “Harry Potter is mine! You are not to touch him! I will be the one to kill him when he’s served his purpose!”

Falling to his knees and bowing low, Rowle’s forehead touched the ground. “Forgive me, my Lord.”

 

A sudden flash of red light interrupted whatever was to be said next, narrowly missing the older Carrow sibling. As one the Death Eaters turned towards the trees where the spell came from, their wands ready to fight. Another spell hit its target but unfortunately, Nott was already protected by a shield charm and the spell dissipated harmlessly.

The Dark Lord lifted his hand, making a strange, round waving motion and the shadowed forms hovering in the woods glided forwards, covering their surroundings in darkness.

The Dementors, realized Severus as they moved along the edges of the clearing, looking for the victims they could rob of their happiness. Someone screamed and many shouts were heard and Severus used the current distraction to get closer to Harry.

He was still several feet away when the Dementors returned, a white, blurry shapes chasing after them.

“The pesky Order with their pesky light spells! Alecto, your arm!” Hissed the Dark Lord, pressing his wand into her dark mark and summoning the lower ranking Death Eaters. Soon, the clearing was full of dark cloaked, white-masked figures.

“Go! Kill them all!” He ordered, hissing something to his familiar.

The Death Eaters broke into smaller groups, some already duelling with the Order members hidden behind the trees, some following the others deeper into the woods. The Dementors glided after them, momentarily hindered by the Patronus spell only to pursue their chosen victims as soon as the spell ended.

Severus pretended to fight as well, firing non-lethal spells towards the trees and all the while slowly inching back to Harry. He was suddenly stopped by a loud hissing sound, the Dark Lord’s snake baring its poisonous fangs at him, ready to strike.

The Dark Lord turned his wand at Severus when Albus appeared on the edge of the clearing, a strong shield charm around him deflecting all the curses from the Death Eaters.

“Tom!” He called. “It is me you want to kill, let the boy go!”

“Dumbledore.” The snake-faced man sneered. “You are too late. The prophecy shall be fulfilled today.” With a wave of his bony hand, he summoned one of the Dementors to the altar, running his wand along the carved runes.

 

A dark blue beam rose from the stone table, slowly spreading and covering the middle of the clearing in a shimmering, dome-like shield.

Severus, unable to get to Harry because of Nagini, flicked his wand to cancel the leg-binding curse. “Harry! Run away! Quickly!” He shouted, hoping Harry would be fast enough to escape the shield before it touched the ground.

Harry tried to roll away from the altar but Nagini was faster, pinning him down with her vast weight and hissing angrily.

The blue shield closed down, effectively silencing the world around them and shutting off the sounds of the ongoing battle. Severus and Harry were trapped; the Dark Lord, his snake and the sole Dementor their only company.

 

Dodging the first two curses that the Dark Lord fired at him, Severus cast a shield charm around himself only to have it shattered by a strong blasting curse. The backlash from the curse disrupted his balance, making him stagger backwards into the shimmering barrier behind him. The next curse hit Severus square in the chest.

“Crucio! You traitor, I have always suspected you, Severus. Now Dumbledore can watch both of his pets die tonight!” He cast the spell, again and again until Severus felt like his whole body was on fire, his limbs shaking uncontrollably.

Severus registered Harry calling his name but was unable to answer him, his jaw clenched shut to prevent himself from screaming. He must have fallen unconscious at some point because when he awoke next, the Dark Lord had moved behind the altar; Harry laying on the ground in front of him like an offering.

Harry was breathing heavily, his arms and legs twitching and Severus realized the boy has also been subjected to the cruciatus curse. It pained him to see Harry like this and the sheer helplessness of the situation was driving him to madness.

Concentrating on moving the right arm, he was hoping to feel his wand that had fallen out of his hand during the last bout of cruciatus but it was all in vain. His limbs were still too affected by the extremely painful curse.

 

Not paying him any attention, the Dark Lord started to talk to Harry in a quiet, pleased voice. “Harry Potter. You were once the cause of my downfall but today you will help me achieve an unimaginable greatness!”

“You will never be great. Just evil.” Said Harry, his voice hoarse and quiet.

Baring his sharp teeth, the Dark Lord sneered. “No, Harry. I once told you, there is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it. I am not weak and I have always sought new sources of power and at last, I have discovered the ancient secrets of the voodoo.” He beckoned the Dementor closer before he continued. “You are familiar with the Dementors, aren’t you, Harry? Did you know they were originally created by a dark sorcerer to serve as a torturing device, rendering his victims unable to flee or fight back? I have studied them diligently, such fascinating creatures.” The Dark Lord petted the slimy-looking, scabbed hand of the hovering Dementor and Severus shuddered in disgust.

“I have discovered that the souls of their victims stay trapped within the Dementors’ bodies, making them the perfect containers of an unused soul energy! My next quest was to find a way to harvest that energy and turn it into a pure power; a power so great, none in this world can compare to. You see, Harry, you will add to that power exponentially, such pure, light and strong soul.” Cackling menacingly, he picked up the potion vial, showing it to Harry.

“With this potion, I will become the master of the Dementors. Their dark affinity makes them susceptible to the commands of the dark wizards, however, only their true master will be able to extract the souls stored within their bodies. And yours, Harry, will be the first I will harvest.”

“No…” Coughing, Severus willed his arm to move, blindly patting the ground and searching for his wand. Every few seconds, his body would seize up, followed by violent tremors, making moving in a coordinated fashion virtually impossible.

Harry wasn’t fairing any better though he turned his head to look at Severus.

“Severus.” He whispered, tears running down his cheeks. “I love you.”

 

The dark, hooded figure of the Dementor floated above Harry, gradually descending until it all but covered the teen’s body with its black cloak. The glistening, scabbed hands slowly lowered the hood, revealing a gaping, large hole where the mouth should be.

Severus could hear the ominous sound of the rattling breath as the Dementor leaned closer to Harry.

“No! Harry! Nooo! I love you!” Severus screamed, fighting his own body as the tremors hit him again, managing to roll on his side.

He felt the hard edge of his wand digging into his palm and gripped it tightly, uncaring of the pain that burned through him like fire. Thinking about all the times he spent with Harry, cherishing him, admiring him and loving him, he managed to move his wrist far enough to point his wand in Harry’s direction.

“Expecto Patronum!”

A silver doe sprang to life, galloping towards Harry to chase away the Dementor. But the foul creature was already pulling its hood back up, seemingly satiated for the moment and the Dark Lord cackled maniacally, uncorking the vial in preparation for the ritual. He started chanting in some unknown language, making the Dementor retreat to the back of the shield dome.

 

Severus watched his Patronus stand guard above Harry, its nose nuzzling the boy’s cheek. Harry lay there unmovingly, his spectacles reflecting the silver light as the doe leaned closer, preventing Severus from seeing the boy’s eyes.

When the doe finally moved away, Severus’s heart froze in his chest. The beautiful face of his beloved Harry was blank, his mesmerizing green eyes dull and devoid of any emotion. Severus was unwilling to comprehend what it meant, paralyzed completely by the utter horror he was feeling.

“Harry…” He whispered brokenly, his eyes filling with tears for the first time since he was a child.

 

The softly murmured “Severus.” must have been a figment of his imagination.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under the desk* 
> 
> I'm sorry, the cliffhangers just seem to happen :O  
> Don't worry, the next chapter is coming soon! 
> 
> ♥ ♥ ♥


	29. Chapter 29

 

 

Harry opened his eyes, otherwise unable to move. All he could see was a portion of a cloudy sky and a tall man standing above him, pointing a wand at his face.

Harry suddenly remembered everything, a panic seizing his heart. He was taken from Hogsmeade, pulled into a dark alleyway by one of the Slytherins. Theo Nott had somehow contacted his father and the suspected Death Eater had abducted Harry.

Listening closely to anything that could help him figure out his situation, Harry finally registered voices somewhere farther away. After a while, he was sure he recognized the hissing, high-pitched voice of Voldemort. Even through his panic he scoffed to himself; suspected Death Eater, my arse. Nott Sr was most definitely a Death Eater, one that had delivered Harry to Voldemort on a silver platter.

 

Unable to do anything but lay still, Harry thought about his friends, desperately hoping he was the only one abducted. And Severus! Oh, Merlin, he would probably be summoned with the rest of the Death Eaters. Voldemort would surely want to kill Harry in front of his followers to prove he was the superior wizard.

Harry didn’t want Severus having to watch his death or worse, get himself killed for trying to save Harry. He could only hope that Voldemort would want to finish him quickly.

The dark wizard’s voice was suddenly becoming louder and Harry realized he was coming closer. The scar on his forehead prickling painfully, Harry squinted his eyes, seeing Nott Sr take a deep bow and then disappear from his line of sight.

“Harry Potter. The Chosen One. You will not thwart my plans today.” Voldemort’s cold voice and menacing cackle made Harry’s hair stand on end, covering his body with unpleasant goosebumps.

All of a sudden, he felt the body-bind lift, his muscles stiff for having to endure the curse for so long. Rolling to the side, Harry tried to sit up and push himself to his feet, anger coursing through his veins when he heard the mocking voice of Bellatrix Lestrange.

“Wakey, wakey, Potty baby!”

Voldemort was walking around the strange stone table, hissing under his breath. _“’Nagini, my dear, come see our most honoured guest.’”_

_“’Yes, master.’”_

 

Harry was almost standing up when the cruciatus hit him, the overwhelming pain consuming his body like fire. He slipped and fell, biting his tongue in the process.

“Behold the Saviour of the Light!” Said Voldemort in a mocking tone. “The Chosen One laying at my feet at last.”

“Only because you’re a coward! Attacking me when I don’t have a wand!” Harry shouted at him angrily, his temper briefly overruling the fear for his life.

Scrambling to his feet again, he was suddenly hit by a leg-locking curse. Harry fell down hard on his back, getting the wind knocked out of him and panicking when he couldn’t breathe. He hardly registered one of the Death Eaters getting punished, Voldemort hissing to his familiar to guard the prisoner and the battle starting somewhere around him.

Remembering his lessons with Severus, Harry tried to concentrate only on his breathing and slowly managed to take still deeper breaths. The panic subsiding slightly, he lifted his head, looking around.

 

Many people were fighting along the tree line, the black cloaks of the Death Eaters swirling with their movements, making them look like some great blackbirds. One of them was edging backwards to Harry, firing spells all the time and not looking where he was going, almost stepping on Nagini that was coiled on the ground around Harry.

Her hissing alerted the man as well as Voldemort and Harry felt his heart jump when the man turned around. It was Severus! Severus was here!

Harry’s eyes widened in terror when Voldemort turned his wand to Severus but luckily he was interrupted by Dumbledore’s voice, calling to him from far away.

“Tom! It is me you want to kill, let the boy go!”

“Dumbledore.” The snake-faced man sneered. “You are too late. The prophecy shall be fulfilled today.”

Waving his hand and pressing the wand against the stone altar, he activated a shield barrier that was now forming all around the centre of the clearing. Harry watched the shimmering blue shield slowly close around them and startled when he heard Severus yell.

“Harry! Run away! Quickly!”

Severus must have lifted the leg-locking curse and Harry tried to roll away from under the forming shield but the great snake was faster, slithering onto Harry’s legs as quickly as a lightning, pinning him down and immobilizing him with its coils wrapped around his body. Harry couldn’t move anything but his head, desperately trying to free himself from the big snake.

The shield dome was now completely closed, shutting out the sounds of the outside world. Harry could still hear the whooshing sounds of spells being fired and he realized Severus was duelling with Voldemort.

“Crucio! You traitor, I have always suspected you, Severus. Now Dumbledore can watch both of his pets die tonight!” Voldemort hissed angrily.

 

Lifting his head, Harry’s heart constricted in pain and filled with terror when he saw the snake-faced man fire the Unforgivable curse at Severus over and over again, making the potions master writhe on the ground in agony.

“No! Stop it! Nooo, Severus! Severus!” He shouted, tears running down his face as he was forced to watch Severus endure all that pain.

Pushing against the great snake lying on top of him with all his strength, he somehow freed one of his hands, starting to beat the dark scales furiously.

“Nooo, let me go! Severus! Severus!”

_“’Nagini, move aside.’”_ Voldemort hissed suddenly.

The snake obeyed at once and Harry was about to roll around to get to Severus when the pain hit him.

“Crucio! I wonder, was it your doing that Severus betrayed me… You are disrupting my plans wherever you go, don’t you, Harry? Crucio! But not today, not today.” Voldemort was talking more to himself than to Harry, seemingly not caring that the teen was screaming at the top of his lungs.

 

The pain was excruciating. Harry felt as if his body was being penetrated by thousands of tiny, burning hot needles, attacking all his nerve endings one by one. When the pain finally stopped, he couldn’t do anything but pant heavily, his arms and legs twitching on their own accord.

Using the levitation charm, Voldemort placed him in front of the stone altar. “Harry Potter. You were once the cause of my downfall but today you will help me achieve an unimaginable greatness!”

“You will never be great. Just evil.” Said Harry, his voice hoarse and quiet.

Turning his head, he looked at Severus who was lying close to the shimmering shield barrier, his body seizing up in an obviously painful way. Harry’s heart was hurting for Severus, he had always suspected that he would not survive his confrontations with Voldemort but he was hoping at least Severus would make it out alive.

Voldemort kept talking, telling Harry about the power he sought and the Dementors he studied. Harry shivered when the Dementor floated closer, the feelings of despair and unhappiness multiplying rapidly.

“With this potion, I will become the master of the Dementors. Their dark affinity makes them susceptible to the commands of the dark wizards, however, only their true master will be able to extract the souls stored within their bodies. And yours, Harry, will be the first I will harvest.” Voldemort cackled as he waved his hand, sending the Dementor towards Harry.

“No…” Coughed Severus, his body still twitching from the aftershocks of cruciatus and Harry watched him with tears in his eyes.

 

“Severus. I love you.” He whispered just as the dark, hooded Dementor descended upon him.

Harry could hear his mother screaming, the green light flashing before his eyes, his body completely numb with cold.

And then the overwhelming feeling of a pitch black darkness, wanting to swallow him whole. Harry was fighting it with all his strength, he couldn’t leave Severus all alone with Voldemort!

As long as he was alive, Voldemort would focus on him and not pay attention to Severus. He had to be strong for Severus!

Harry retreated to the very edge of his mind until he felt the familiar warmth of Severus’s occlumency shields. The echo of Severus’s presence was still there, warming Harry, guiding him, protecting him. Clinging to the shields, hugging himself to them as he would to Severus, he suddenly felt the evil presence that lived in the back of his mind move.

Voldemort’s soul shard, Harry realized. The shard was moving towards the swallowing darkness, trying to pull Harry away from the shields but Harry clung to them desperately, trusting they would protect him. The shard was moving faster and faster, its hold on Harry diminishing by the second and all of a sudden it was gone, the swallowing darkness receding as well.

 

Harry could feel his body warming up again, an overwhelming feeling of pure love filling him, chasing away the despair and unhappiness. Slowly letting go of the occlumency shields, Harry drifted back to consciousness.

A blinding white light met his eyes, making him squint until he could see. It was a doe, Severus’s Patronus. Harry moved his fingers and the doe nuzzled his hand.

“Severus.” He whispered, looking at the potions master who was laying on his side, his neck bent in an uncomfortable position.

Severus didn’t seem to hear him, his eyes closed and cheeks stained with tears.

 

Harry realized Voldemort was chanting some kind of spell and he sat up cautiously, looking at the snake-faced man. The red eyes were closed in concentration, a vial of potion in one hand and a wand, pointing at the Dementor, in the other. Nagini was on the ground next to him, seemingly in some kind of trance just like her master.

Harry got up on his knees, carefully reaching towards the altar. When Voldemort didn’t move, he quickly grabbed his wand that was lying there and shuffled backwards awkwardly, ducking his head in the process.

But Voldemort kept chanting, gradually lifting the potion’s vial to his mouth.

Harry hurriedly crawled to Severus, not paying much attention to his still sore muscles.

“Severus.” He whispered, petting the man’s wet cheeks. “Severus, can you hear me?”

The dark eyes opened and watched him impassively for a second before widening in astonishment.

“Harry?” Severus croaked, the tone of his voice unbelieving.

“Severus, can you move? We need to get out of here.” Harry helped him sit up, supporting his weight as much as he could.

Severus touched Harry’s cheek with a trembling hand, an expression of utter amazement on his normally stoic face. “Harry, it’s really you!” All of a sudden, he pulled Harry into a bone-crushing hug. “I thought I had lost you, my love! My heart! My everything!”

Harry could feel him sobbing into his hair and hugged him back just as tightly. “I’m still here, Severus. I will never leave you, I promise! I love you!” He said, his heart aching with the overwhelming love.

“I love you, Harry.” Severus moved back slightly to press a kiss to Harry’s lips.

 

Their little moment was over when Voldemort drank the potion, the ground around them suddenly shaking as the shield dome started to dissipate.

“We need to get out of here!” Shouted Harry, getting up and trying to pull Severus to his feet. Severus was still too affected by the cruciatus and his knees gave out as soon as he stood up, groaning when he hit the ground again.

A loud hissing voice had Harry turn around. _“’Kill the intruder! Must guard the prisoner! Kill the intruder!’”_

Nagini was rapidly slithering closer, launching herself towards Severus with her mouth open, displaying the deadly fangs.

“Severus! Watch out!” Harry yelled as he threw himself on top of Severus, trying to shield him with his body.

Nagini hit something and fell to the ground, dazed. When Harry looked up, he saw an about three feet tall solid brick wall between them and the snake. Blinking in astonishment, he noticed the shimmering shield was now completely gone and Dumbledore was standing above them with a wand in one hand and a sword of Gryffindor in the other.

“Alright, my boys?” He asked pleasantly, vanishing the brick wall with a wave of his hand.

Nagini hissed, ready to strike again but before Harry could shout out his warning, the snake’s head fell into his lap, her blood staining the blue jeans rapidly. Harry looked up at the headmaster with wide eyes and the old man had the audacity to chuckle.

“Ah, terribly sorry for the mess, my boy.” He said, wiping the bloody sword with his cloak.

“What…” Severus started to say but was interrupted by an inhuman scream.

 

As one they turned to look at Voldemort who was still standing behind the stone altar. The dark wizard seemed to be draining the Dementor, its whole essence disappearing into Voldemort’s wand. At last, the spell had stopped, the Dementor having vanished into the thin air.

Harry gasped when Voldemort shifted his position. The pale skin had turned dark grey, the thinness of his skeletal hands was even more pronounced and the glimmering red eyes were shining like two bloody beacons.

“Dumbledore.” He hissed, his high-pitched voice resonating strangely as if creating an echo. “Witness the great power of Lord Voldemort!”

He cast a spell, sending a wave of fire to their location. Dumbledore dispelled it with a waterfall spell and the fight was on.

Harry had tried to help Severus move out of the way, both of them dodging the stray spells.

“Harry.” Severus pushed Harry behind the stone altar. “Stay here, don’t leave the cover!”

He pulled a small crate from behind the stone table, quickly downing several potions and handing one to Harry as well. “Drink this, it will help you recover. Stay here, I’m going to help Albus.” He said, not waiting for an answer.

Harry drank the potion, shuddering at the taste and gripped his wand tightly. He was not going to hide away while Severus was out there, risking his life!

 

Peeking from around the altar, he could see that Voldemort clearly had the upper hand. Whatever he had done during that ritual with the Dementor had increased his power exponentially and Harry’s insides filled with fear.

Voldemort was easily duelling Dumbledore and Severus at the same time, hissing insults at both of them and speeding up his attacks. When the green beam of the killing curse only narrowly missed Severus, Harry instantly abandoned his cover and sprinted towards him.

He had to do something before Severus got himself killed. Frantically looking around, trying to find some way to distract Voldemort, Harry saw the dark, hooded figures of the Dementors chasing someone along the tree line.

Suddenly, he had a crazy idea. Voldemort told him he would become the master of the Dementors. What if he had somehow become one of them? He certainly looked similar to them now.

Not thinking too much about his reasoning, Harry looked at Severus, let his heart and soul be filled with the overwhelming love he felt for this man and cast the spell.

“Expecto Patronum!”

 

An enormous silver stag erupted from his wand, galloping to Voldemort at full speed. Voldemort slashed his wand, creating a shield but the Patronus was not deterred. Kicking through the shield easily, the stag pushed the dark wizard to the ground, attacking him in a way that Harry has never seen a Patronus behave.

Voldemort screamed whenever the stag touched him, the bright light of the Patronus burning his darkened skin, causing large blisters to appear and burst open at the slightest touch. Harry watched him with wide eyes, the snake-like face slowly turning skeletal as the skin burned away, the whole body melting until only the dark robes remained, smouldering in the late afternoon sun.

The stag kicked his front hooves up in some kind of victory dance before trotting towards Harry and nuzzling his hair in an affectionate gesture.

“Thank you, Prongs.” He murmured softly, petting the shiny stag’s head. The Patronus bowed and disappeared.

Severus was next to him in a flash, hugging him tightly and pressing little kisses in his messy hair. “I love you. I love you.” He repeated in whispers, pulling back to take Harry’s face in his hands and kiss him passionately.

Harry laughed happily when they parted for air. “I love you, too!”

Severus kissed him again and then took his hand, leading him to Dumbledore who was standing above the smouldering remains of Lord Voldemort.

 

“He’s really gone this time, right, sir?” Harry asked, gazing at the headmaster.

Dumbledore smiled, but there was an underlying sadness when he spoke. “Yes, my boy. He is really gone. He was a great wizard and could have changed the world for the better if he hadn’t been so obsessed with power and immortality.” Sighing, he picked up Voldemort’s wand. “Lord Voldemort was the downfall of Tom Riddle.”

Severus watched him with a frown. “Albus, what about Harry? We never had the time to perform the soul-separating ritual and the expelling spell. What if the Dark Lord tries to return using the Horcrux?”

Harry opened his mouth to argue he wasn’t the Horcrux anymore when Dumbledore pulled three vials out of his pocket. Two were full of some blood red potion but the third one was empty.

“When Voldemort summoned the Dementor and cast the shield dome around you, I had suspected he was going to use the creature on either you or Harry. As he was always exceptionally obsessed with Harry, I had guessed he would try to somehow use the boy’s soul. There was no way for me to penetrate the shield’s defences and bring it down from the outside but the potion you had created would allow me to step into the astral plane where the physical barrier wouldn’t work. After I drank the potion, my physical body stayed safely behind the shield but my spiritual body was able to step through and observe Voldemort closely. I had started the soul-separating ritual as soon as I understood his motives and when the Dementor attempted to suck out Harry’s soul, the Horcrux was extracted instead. I confess I had feared the worst but Harry was holding on to his body admirably well.” Dumbledore gently patted Harry’s shoulder.

 

Severus looked at Harry in astonishment. “How?” He asked.

“I was holding on to the shields you have built in my mind. They made me feel safe and protected and I trusted them to keep the darkness away. And they did. You did.” Harry gazed at him lovingly, losing himself in the intensity of those dark eyes.

“Harry.” Severus breathed out, a single tear spilling and running down his face. “I don’t deserve you. But as long as I live, I will make sure you live a long and happy life.”

Leaning closer, he kissed Harry softly on the lips before hugging him again, gently petting the unruly hair.

“As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.” Replied Harry, squeezing Severus tightly and burrowing his face into the black robes.

 

They could hear Dumbledore speaking to the Order members, people cheering and shouting, asking questions and even crying but Harry and Severus didn’t pay them any attention.

They stood together in a tight embrace, their hearts beating as one and both of them cherished the feeling of being able to hold their beloved one in their arms. And Harry knew that after surviving Voldemort, there was no power in this world that could keep them apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then, you didn't think I would let Harry die, did you?
> 
> I'm a sucker for happy endings :) 
> 
> Thank you again for reading, comments and kudos ♥ ♥ ♥


	30. Chapter 30

 

 

 

When Harry, Severus and Dumbledore finally returned to Hogwarts, the dinner in the Great Hall was almost over.

As soon as Voldemort fell, most of the Death Eaters tried to flee and apparate away, abandoning their companions in order to save themselves. However, the wards Dumbledore had set up when the Order arrived prevented them from getting away, enabling people to apparate in but not out of the area. The aurors showed up a moment later, helping the Order members catch and incapacitate the remaining Death Eaters.

 

  
Minister Scrimgeour appeared with a gaggle of reporters in tow but luckily Dumbledore prevented them from questioning Harry, although that didn’t stop them from shouting their opinions at him in hope of a reaction.  
After a lengthy investigation, the Minister gave out an official statement about Voldemort’s death and Harry’s role in the dark wizard’s demise. Harry insisted that he wouldn’t have succeeded without the enormous help from Severus and professor Dumbledore and so all three of them were hailed the heroes by the Minister. Scrimgeour told the reporters that an official celebration would be held sometime next week to honour the three wizards as well as award them The Order of Merlin, First Class.

 

After searching the entire area thoroughly, the aurors determined that five Death Eaters were killed in combat as well as three Order members (Harry didn’t know any of them but still felt really bad about their deaths). One of the dead was Peter Pettigrew and the Minister had promised Harry that Sirius’s name would be cleared posthumously. A few injured Order members had to be shipped to St. Mungo’s and the captured Death Eaters were all taken to the Ministry where they would receive fair trials.

 

The most peculiar was the absence of the Dementors. The dark, hooded creatures had seemingly disappeared and Dumbledore had warned the Minister they could very well have been vanquished together with Voldemort. Scrimgeour’s face became pale, calling for the aurors and promptly sending them to Azkaban to make sure the prisoners were still guarded properly.

 

Despite the potion Severus gave him earlier, Harry was aching all over his body, wanting nothing more than to crawl to his bed and sleep for a few days. Preferably with Severus lying next to him, holding him tightly and carding the long fingers through his hair.

During the whole investigation, Severus stayed close to Harry, always touching him in some way. An arm around his waist, an arm around his shoulder and when the Minister wanted to talk to Harry privately, Severus sent him a murderous glare, casting a silencing bubble around himself while still holding Harry’s hand.

Harry beamed at Severus happily, playing with his long fingers the whole time he spoke to the disgruntled Minister.

 

Finally, they were allowed to leave and Dumbledore used his rights as a headmaster, apparating all three of them straight to Hogwarts, landing them on the steps just outside. They took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the lit up castle which they always regarded as their only true home.  
Leaning against Severus, Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly. “Any chance we can just sneak in before anyone sees us?” He asked, glancing at the headmaster.

Dumbledore chuckled quietly and patted his shoulder, smiling when Severus tightened his arms around the teen’s waist.  
“I’m afraid not, my boy. I’m sure by now many owls have brought the news of Voldemort’s defeat and everyone is impatiently awaiting our return. You wouldn’t want to deprive your friends of a chance to congratulate you, would you, Harry?” The blue eyes were twinkling happily when Harry groaned.

  
He wouldn’t mind talking to his friends but the Great Hall was surely completely full and Harry was not happy to be in the centre of attention. And then there was Severus. Should they still pretend to dislike each other? Harry finally wanted to tell his friends the whole truth, let them know how important Severus was to him and how wonderful he was when not hiding behind the cranky professor persona.

  
Turning around to face Severus, Harry peeked at him from under his eyelashes. “Do you mind if I tell my friends about us?” He mumbled quietly against the man’s chest.

A long finger gently lifted his chin. “Harry, I understand how difficult it has been for you to keep our relationship hidden from your friends. I will not object if you wish to inform them now.” Severus said, softly caressing Harry’s cheek.  
“Regardless, I am not letting you leave my sight for the foreseeable future.” He added, gazing at Harry in a way that made his knees go weak as he leaned closer to press a kiss on his lips.

“Mmm…” Hummed Harry happily before remembering they were not alone.

  
Severus was watching him with a small smile, the dark eyes shining with so much affection that Harry felt his heart stutter, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering excitedly in a way he hadn’t felt since the beginning of their relationship.

“Okay.” He nodded. “I will tell Ron and Hermione and warn them not to talk about it with anyone else.”

Carding a hand through Harry’s messy hair, a strange emotion flashed through Severus’s eyes.  
“You may tell whomever you like, Harry, I do not wish to hide my love for you any longer. Unless you don’t want to…”

  
“No! I mean yes!” Harry interrupted him. “I don’t want to hide anymore either. But won’t you get in trouble for being in a relationship with a student? Or are you planning on leaving Hogwarts now that Voldemort is dead? I will go with you, I mean, I was hoping to finish school and get my N.E.W.T.s but I don’t want to be away from you for so long and…” Harry was rambling on, totally missing the amused expressions on both Severus’s and Dumbledore’s faces.

Finally, Severus stopped him by pressing a finger against his lips, a soft chuckle escaping him when Harry blinked at him bewildered.

“Sweetheart, breathe.” He said with a smile.  
Harry felt himself blush furiously at the affectionate nickname, never expecting such a word to be a part of Severus’s vocabulary. He was secretly longing to be called by some sweet pet name, having spent his childhood being addressed by nothing else than a freak or boy. For Severus to fulfil his wish without being asked, made Harry love him even more (a feat he didn’t think possible).

The headmaster had suddenly appeared in Harry’s line of sight, patting his and Severus’s arms at the same time. “There is absolutely nothing to worry about, my dear boy. The Hogwarts rules allow the teacher-student relationship as long as the student is above the age of consent, both parties are willing and the exams are conducted and marked by someone else.”

Harry was aware he was staring but he couldn’t help himself. He had been allowed to date Severus all this time? Of course, they couldn’t have gone public anyway because of Voldemort, but still, the mere thought that it was possible baffled Harry’s mind.  
“You forgot to mention that the same rules don’t apply if the parties are of the opposite sex.” Severus quirked his eyebrow at Dumbledore when the old wizard chuckled merrily.

  
“Ah, that. Yes, those rules have been changed at the last School Board meeting. I may have proposed a few changes at the end of the meeting when all the members were in a hurry to get home. Nobody was willing to discuss the need to liven up the colours of the school uniforms and they all signed the new rules without even reading through them. I have followed the proper procedure to the letter.” Dumbledore smiled innocently, his blue eyes twinkling above the half-moon spectacles.

Severus suddenly laughed, looking more carefree than ever. “You should have been a Slytherin, Albus. None of the Board Members would dare to admit they didn’t know what they were signing.”  
“Precisely. Your relationship will cause less negative reactions when the school rules clearly state that teacher-student relationships, regardless of the gender, are allowed under certain circumstances.”

Harry was gaping at the headmaster, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that not only had Dumbledore obviously supported them, he had even gone through the trouble of changing the school rules for them.  
“So then, we won’t hide anymore?” Harry asked at last, smiling when Severus kissed the top of his head.  
“No, no more hiding. Let them all see you are mine!”

Blinking at the sudden possessiveness in Severus’s voice, the messy haired teen felt himself blush when the strong arms tightened their embrace around him. He cherished the feeling of being so wanted, so loved by Severus.  
Dumbledore was watching them with a soft smile, his blue eyes twinkling madly as he took the few steps towards the entrance door.

“Come along, my boys. It is getting late, we better go inside and face the masses.” He winked at Harry, chuckling when the teen groaned again.

 

  
They walked together through the Entrance Hall, Severus with his arm firmly around Harry’s waist. The headmaster stopped briefly before opening the heavy double door, glancing at the dark-haired duo next to him.  
“Ready, my boys?” He asked quietly. Upon receiving two simultaneous nods, he pushed the door open.

  
The Great Hall fell silent immediately and all heads turned towards them, the faces showing various degrees of shock and astonishment.  
Dumbledore was the first one to move, slowly starting to walk away from the door and along the house tables. All eyes were on him, some watching him curiously and others anxiously but all giving him the same rapt attention.  
Finally, he stood on the dais in front of the head table, turning to face the student body and raising his hands in a victorious gesture.

  
“Today, the Light has defeated the Darkness and it was once again proven that love conquers all! Lord Voldemort is dead!”

  
A mere second later the Great Hall erupted in a cacophony of cheers, shouts and cries, loud bangs from goblets being thumped again and again and feet being stamped. The headmaster watched them all with a happy smile, noticing Harry and Severus slipping out of the Great Hall again closely followed by Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. Knowing his two favourite boys deserved their peace and privacy, he prepared himself for a long evening of answering questions of the curious students as well as his colleagues.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to update, the real life got the better of me somehow. The next chapter featuring Ron and Hermione will be coming soon as well :)  
> My love and thanks to all of you who read and like my story ♥ ♥ ♥


	31. Chapter 31

 

 

 

While the headmaster walked through the Great Hall, Harry quickly scanned the Gryffindor table, looking for his best friends. He spotted Hermione at the same time she turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide with apparent surprise yet her face lit with a relieved smile. At Harry’s nod, she stood up and hurried towards him, tugging Ron along.

“Perhaps we should take the upcoming conversation somewhere more private?” Murmured Severus into Harry’s ear just as the hall erupted in the loud cheers.  
“Good idea. Maybe we could go to your quarters?” Harry looked up with a shy smile. “Maybe I could stay with you for a while after we tell my friends?”  
Severus pulled Harry closer to his body, bending down to whisper into the teen’s ear again. “There is no maybe, love. You will be staying with me for as long as you want. Forever, if I have anything to say about the matter.”  
Slightly stunned by that declaration, Harry only managed a breathless “I want to!” before Severus led him out of the hall.

As soon as Ron and Hermione reached them, Severus held up a hand. “Ms Granger, Mr Weasley. I am sure you have many questions for your friend, however, the situation at hand requires a little more privacy than the frequented hallway can provide. Follow us, please.” With those words he turned around, taking Harry with him as his arm was still tightly wrapped around the messy haired teen’s waist and led their way into the Hogwarts’ dungeons.

  
Harry looked around his shoulder, grinning sheepishly at Ron’s gobsmacked expression and Hermione’s raised eyebrows. Glancing back at Severus, Harry saw the potion master’s lips twitch and curl into a small smirk. He was clearly enjoying shocking the Gryffindor couple and didn’t seem worried about their possible negative reactions.

Harry, on the other hand, couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. He was waiting for this day when he could finally tell his friends about the relationship with Severus without having to worry about repercussions. He wanted them to get to know the amazing, brave man he had come to love so much, hoping they would be able to look beyond his snarky professor persona and accept their relationship. Harry knew he couldn’t live without Severus anymore, just the thought of not being around him every day made his heart twinge in a very painful way.  
As if aware of his gloomy thoughts, Severus tightened the hold on Harry’s waist reassuringly, pulling the teen closer to his side.

Finally, they reached the dark corridor that led them to Severus’s private quarters and entered the potion master’s cosy sitting room.  
Ron and Hermione followed them inside, closing the door with a gentle click. For a few seconds, nobody moved and then suddenly Harry felt an impact. Hermione threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him so hard his already sore muscles screamed in protest.  
”Oh, Harry! We were so worried about you! What happened? Is Voldemort truly gone? Are you alright?” She stepped back and loosened her hold on Harry when his next breath came out as a wheeze.  
”I’m fine, Mione, just a bit sore. We should probably sit down, this will be a long story.” Harry turned to Severus who was watching him with worried eyes.

  
”You are in pain.” Touching a hand to Harry’s cheek, Severus gently brushed away a lone tear that had spilt from the green eyes. ”You should have told me sooner. Here, drink this.” Severus pulled a small vial out of his pocket, handing it to Harry.  
”Thank you, Severus.” The potion worked immediately and Harry happily sagged against the tall man as the soreness left his body.  
Guiding him towards the nearest armchair, Severus spoke above Harry’s head. “Ms Granger, Mr Weasley, take a seat and we will explain everything. Though I require your wizard’s oath that none of the information about the Dark Lord will ever leave this room.”

  
He sounded so serious that Harry couldn’t help but ask. “Is that really necessary, Severus? I mean, Voldemort is dead and not coming back this time.”  
The potions master perched himself on the arm of Harry’s chair, his hand gently petting the teen’s neck in a manner that eased away the last of his tension.  
“The Dark Lord may be gone for good but not all of his followers have been apprehended or exposed as such. There will always be one more fool who would endeavour to continue his legacy and I rather not have another Dementor Lord raining terror on the world.”  
Harry nodded in agreement. Seeing how powerful had Voldemort become after the ritual was truly frightening.  
“Yeah, you’re right. We were really lucky that the Patronus worked at all.”  
Severus smiled at him, visibly shocking Ron judging by the choking sound coming from the sofa.  
“Ah, the famous Potter luck. I confess I was never more grateful for your penchant for escaping the lethal situations relatively unscathed than I was after your encounter with the dementor.”  
Framing Harry’s face with both his hands, Severus leaned closer with an intense look. “I thought I had lost you forever.”  
“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Harry whispered, his heart almost bursting with all the love he felt for this amazing man. “I am here to stay.”  
He was rewarded with a quick peck on his lips and another soft smile. Harry loved that smile so much, in his eyes, nothing was more beautiful than that.

Turning to face his friends once more, Harry chuckled at the sight before him. Ron was literally gaping at him with an open mouth, eyes widened in terror. Hermione, on the other hand, was regarding Severus with a pinched look on her face.  
”Umm, so yeah, as you already probably guessed, Severus and I are together.” Smiling sheepishly, Harry took hold of Severus’s hand, nervously playing with the long fingers.  
He expected Hermione to start firing questions at him but it was Ron who broke the silence first.  
”This is your mysterious boyfriend? The Great Bat of the Dungeons? The git that landed you in the hospital at the beginning of the year? Harry, mate, have you gone completely mental?”

  
”Hey!” Exclaimed Harry, getting ready to defend Severus when a warm hand settled at the back of his neck again.  
”Mr Weasley, I understand my relationship with Harry may seem unusual to you but I assure you our mutual animosity displayed in the classroom was purely an act for the benefit of those reporting to the Dark Lord at the time. Furthermore, I deeply regret harming Harry and I assure you I will never, ever, physically or mentally hurt him again. I will rather end my own life than let any harm come to him.”  
The chosen words and the serious tone of his voice left no doubt that the potions master was sincere in his proclamation.

Lifting the hand he was holding to his lips, Harry kissed it and then pressed his cheek against the large palm, glancing at Severus through his eyelashes.  
“You love him.”  
Harry looked at Hermione when she spoke but she wasn’t talking to him. Her eyes were locked on Severus.  
“Indeed, Ms Granger. I do, with all my heart.” Replied Severus solemnly.

Harry suddenly realized how difficult this whole situation must be for Severus. He was an incredibly private person and to lay his feeling bare in front of his students, even if they were close to Harry, was an astonishing gesture.  
Truly, whenever Harry thought he couldn’t possibly love Severus any more than this, the wonderful man would surprise him yet again, revealing yet another layer of his complex personality.

“What about the school rules? You are a teacher and Harry is still a student. Surely that can’t be allowed. Or do you plan to keep Harry your dirty little secret?” Hermione’s voice was unusually cold.  
Harry snorted a laugh at her choice of words. “You make me sound like some kept mistress from a bad romance novel.”  
She bristled but Harry continued with a pleading voice. “Mione, please, it isn’t like that. We had to hide before because of Voldemort, we just couldn’t risk even a small piece of information getting to that snake-faced git. But now we can be out in the open and it would mean the world to me if I knew my two best friends supported us. Please?” Harry was not above begging at this point.

  
“Aargh stop it!” Groaned Ron all of a sudden. “You know I can’t resist those puppy eyes. Fine, you can keep him. But really, Harry, did you have to choose the most Slytherin of all the Slytherins? Why couldn’t you have picked Zabini? He’s good-looking, right? Plus he isn’t that much of a git. And I heard his family is loaded. They have houses in Italy, that would mean free vacations every summer, mate! Can’t you reconsider?” Ron was looking at him with such a pitiful expression that Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing out loud.  
“I’m sorry, Ron. This is the only Slytherin I want. The only one I love.” Harry smiled at Severus before facing Ron again. “But it sounds like you might fancy Zabini yourself. Should Mione be worried?”  
Spluttering with indignation, Ron turned to his girlfriend. “I didn’t mean… I don’t… “  
Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry and patted Ron’s hand. “I know you didn’t mean that, Ron. After all, you would never fancy a Slytherin.” She laughed when the redhead spluttered once again.  
“You know I only fancy girls!”  
“Oh, so you would fancy a Slytherin girl then?” Hermione asked him, sending a sly wink to Harry.  
“Well I… I mean if she was… I mean… “ Ron was clearly not having much luck trying to figure out the right thing to say.

  
“Perhaps you should stop while you are still ahead, Mr Weasley.” Said Severus, sounding amused. “As for your other concerns Ms Granger, we were informed by the headmaster himself that the Hogwarts rules permit a teacher-student relationship as long as the student is above the age of consent, both parties are willing and the exams are conducted and marked by someone else.”  
“Oh.” Hermione sat back on the sofa, thoughtfully observing the dark-haired duo across from her.  
“Are you happy, Harry? Is this what you really want?” She finally asked.  
“Yes, Mione.” Nodded Harry with a beaming smile. “Severus is who I want. And I’m very happy.”  
“Then I’m happy for you. And you have our support. Right, Ron?” She nudged the redhead with her elbow when he didn’t answer quickly enough.  
“Ow, right! I said so already, didn’t I? Did you have to jab my ribs like that?” Massaging his side exaggeratedly, Ron grumbled under his breath. “I said he could keep the git… better him than me.”

Harry snickered when he felt Severus bend over and huff a laugh into his hair. A feeling of intense happiness spread all throughout his body. Voldemort was gone for good, his friends were all safe, Ron and Hermione have accepted his relationship with Severus and above all, he was in love with the most amazing man who loved him back.  
“Thank you.” Smiling warmly at his best friends, he entwined his fingers with Severus’ and took a deep breath. “Now, about Voldemort. If you think you know what a monster he really was, well… you don’t know the half of it… “ Harry launched into the story of Lord Voldemort, the Horcruxes, the ancient voodoo rituals and the dementors.

  
By the time he was finished, his voice was hoarse from talking and his friends were staring at him with wide eyes, deeply shocked and shaken.  
“Oh, Harry. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”  
Harry once again found himself with his arms full of Hermione and his face full of hair. Soothingly patting her back, he startled when she pulled him out of the chair and dragged him into a group hug with Ron.  
“I’m glad you’re alright, mate.” Said the redhead once they finally released him, all three of them teary-eyed but smiling.  
“Yeah. I’m just glad the snake-faced bastard is completely gone. Not a moment too soon if you ask me.” Walking back to Severus, Harry smiled when the potions master reached out and took his hand.  
“Indeed. Fortunately, all of the summoned Death Eaters have been captured or killed as well and the rest of them is still in Azkaban. I do not expect any of them causing trouble any time soon.”  
“But what about their children? Some of them are still in Hogwarts, I mean, I probably wouldn’t have been kidnapped if not for Nott Jr.” Asked Harry, thinking back to the malicious sneer on Nott’s face.

He startled when Ron rushed towards him and lifted him off his feet in a bear hug.  
“I’m so sorry, it was all my fault!”  
Harry’s face was squashed against his best mate’s chest yet somehow he managed to look up.  
“How was it your fault, Ron?”  
Loosening his hold on Harry, Ron stood before him with slumped shoulders. “It was my fault you ran away from us, straight into the Death Eater’s trap. I shouldn’t have been making fun of you.”  
He was looking so miserable that Harry couldn’t help but hug him again. “Of course it wasn’t your fault, Ron. None of us expected any danger in Hogsmeade. And certainly not from a fellow student. Which brings me back to my question, what if Nott tries something again?”

  
“He won’t.” Replied Hermione. “The moment we realized you were taken, professor McGonagall sent a Patronus to the castle and then cast a tether spell on Nott and his friends to make sure they could not get away. Nott was stupid enough to brag to his friends that he and his father were the ones to deliver the famous Harry Potter to the Dark Lord. I don’t think I’ve ever seen professor McGonagall so angry.”  
“Yeah, she was practically spitting when she ordered everyone back to Hogwarts. You could see why her animagus is a cat.” Ron grinned at Harry, obviously feeling much better than a moment ago.  
“You better hope she never catches you talking about her like that.” Hermione responded, glaring at her boyfriend fiercely. “And she had every right to be upset, what with Harry gone missing and Nott spouting that Death Eater propaganda.” Pushing a lock of her hair behind one ear, she grabbed Harry’s hand. “We were so worried about you, Harry. I’m really happy you’re alright.”

  
Harry squeezed her hand in an affectionate gesture. “Thanks, Mione. I promise I will try to never worry you like that again.” He said, then turned his head to Severus and added. “Neither of you.”  
Severus only silently nodded at him but the emotions and love burning in the dark eyes told Harry all he needed to know.

  
Hermione watched them with a pleased smile, winking at her messy haired friend when he looked back at her. “You better not. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about Nott anymore. Halfway through the dinner, a couple of Aurors showed up and arrested Nott, Parkinson and the three seventh years that helped him in Hogsmeade. They were all taken to the Ministry and as Nott has essentially confessed in front of witnesses, he won’t be walking free any time soon.”  
“Indeed.” Severus confirmed. “Unfortunately for Nott Jr, he has turned seventeen last week which means he will be tried as an adult. He is facing at least several years in Azkaban as well as expulsion from Hogwarts.”  
“Well, I won’t complain if I never see him again.” Harry shuffled over to Severus wearily, his muscles beginning to ache again. The events of today finally catching up with him, he didn’t protest when Severus made him sit down and handed him another potion.

  
“Thank you.”  
“You are welcome. You need to eat something, these muscle relaxants should not be taken on an empty stomach. I shall request our dinner from the house-elves.” Cupping Harry’s face between his hands, Severus leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead. Straightening again, he addressed Harry’s friends. “Ms Granger, Mr Weasley. I believe we have answered all of your pressing concerns. You are welcome to visit Harry again tomorrow but right now I will ask you to leave.”

  
“You’re staying here then, mate?” The redhead asked, though from the tone of his voice it was apparent he already knew the answer.  
“Yeah.” Nodded Harry. “I’ll ask Dobby to bring me some clean clothes and other things I might need. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, alright? Though not too early, I feel like I could sleep for a week.”  
“Of course, Harry.” Hermione walked to Harry’s armchair and leaned in for a hug, murmuring softly in his ear. “Should I send you that book on gay sex, too? There are some very useful spells in there. You never know when you might need them.” Pulling back from the hug, she had the gall to wink at him as he blushed and spluttered, not knowing what to say.

Waving his friends goodbye, Harry watched Severus floo call the kitchens. The potions master kneeled down at the hearth, pushing his long hair away from his face. He glanced at Harry with that beautiful soft smile and the teen has all but melted in his chair. And all of a sudden, all thoughts of food and rest flew Harry’s mind. What he needed now was Severus.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone ♥ ♥ ♥


	32. Chapter 32

 

 

 

Turning to lie on his side, Severus quietly studied the sleeping teen next to him. His face wasn’t as pale and tired as it has been last night. The dark hair was ever so messy but his cheeks now had a healthy, rosy sheen and the skin around his eyes was once again without dark circles.

After Harry’s friends left, Severus coerced Harry to eat some dinner, even though the teen had other ideas. Not that Severus protested when he suddenly found himself with a lap full of very affectionate young man, but his worry for Harry’s health superseded his own growing arousal.  
In the end, Harry has agreed to eat as long as he didn’t have to leave Severus’s embrace and the potions master was more than happy with that solution.  
When an overenthusiastic house-elf showed up with Harry’s belongings, the teen was already almost dozing off. Rousing himself awake enough to take a quick shower and put some pyjamas on, Harry was fast asleep by the time Severus was finished with his own bathroom routine.

Sliding under the sheets next to Harry, taking him in his arms, Severus has never found his own bed more comfortable. For a moment he just lay there, running his hand through the teen’s messy hair and listened to his quiet breathing. Then the memories of the day flooded his mind and Severus couldn’t help but hug Harry tightly as if wanting to reassure himself that the teen was indeed safe.

Though for a long time he was aware that he loved Harry, he only recognized precisely how deep his love was at that horrific moment of watching the foul creature seemingly succeed in stealing Harry’s precious soul. The despair and horror he felt was nothing compared to the black void that was threatening to rip his heart apart. And Severus now realized he would not be able to survive should Harry ever precede him in death.

After sorting through his emotions and memories, the potions master buried his face in the messy black hair and inhaling the familiar scent of his beloved he finally managed to fall asleep.

He awoke hours later to a soft pop. Turning his head to the side, he spied a small scroll lying next to his wand on the nightstand. The quiet, regular breathing told him Harry was still asleep, his slender form pressed against the right side of Severus’s body.  
Carefully moving to a half-sitting position, Severus picked up the scroll. It was a message from Albus, informing him the classes have been cancelled for the coming week in celebration of Voldemort’s demise. The headmaster has also notified the students and teachers alike that Severus and Harry were in dire need of private recuperation time and were not to be disturbed. Both of them were, however, expected at the official Ministry Celebration Ball on Friday.

Discarding the scroll, Severus scooted down on the bed and turned to watch the sleeping teen. Even after everything they have been through, he still sometimes found it difficult to believe Harry was truly his. His to keep, to protect, to love.  
Lifting his hand, he lightly caressed the famous lightning bolt like scar. It was already much less pronounced than a mere day ago and appeared to be healing ever since the Horcrux left Harry’s body.  
A soft sigh left the teen’s mouth and Severus was overcome with a sudden need to kiss him. Leaning closer, he pressed his lips on Harry’s luscious ones, trying to coax them open as he licked along the seam. A slight puckering was the teen’s response and Severus tried again, gently nibbling on the fuller lower lip. Harry was starting to respond to his kisses yet his eyes were still closed as he seemed to be caught in that pleasant, half-awake state of mind.

Carding one hand through the messy hair, Severus pulled the blanket off Harry, stroking the lean torso and muscled legs in the process. His lips, in the meantime, were leaving a slightly wet trail of kisses along the teen’s jaw in their quest for Harry’s ultimate erogenous zone, his ear.  
A few licks along the earlobe and Harry was moaning beautifully, igniting Severus’s arousal.  
“Mmm.”  
“Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?” Murmured Severus as the green eyes fluttered open.  
“Mmhmm, definitely the best sleep I ever had. And you?” The shy smile on Harry’s face was melting the potions master’s heart all over again. Having long ago lost his inner battle about behaving like a lovesick Hufflepuff, Severus smiled back.  
“The same, without a doubt. Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast if you’d like.”  
“Umm, maybe later. Can we stay in bed a bit longer?” Harry was looking at him from under his eyelashes, biting his lower lip. Severus was aware it was a subconscious gesture on Harry’s part but that didn’t make it any less seductive.  
“I wholly approve of this plan.” He purred into Harry’s ear, resuming his exploration of that particular body part.

A low moan was his reward. “Mmm, Severus…”  
Doubling his efforts, Severus slowly licked along the rim of the ear, teasing Harry with his warm breath and too gentle touches. Laying one hand on Harry’s chest, he could feel him shaking with subtle shivers and the nipple under Severus’s palm was even through the pyjama top noticeably hard.  
Severus shifted his hips to accommodate his growing erection, pulling Harry closer and surprising the teen by suddenly dipping his tongue inside the ear.  
Letting out a lustful moan, Harry arched his back off the bed, the shivers running through his body even more pronounced. With one last nibble on the sensitive earlobe, Severus moved to capture Harry’s delicious lips in a passionate kiss. Their tongues danced and battled together, playfully fighting for dominance until Severus sucked Harry’s tongue in his mouth, an action that always rendered Harry practically boneless.  
In one swift move, Severus covered the smaller body with his own, carefully lowering himself down but keeping the most of his weight off of Harry. Soon he felt two slender hands roaming all over him, sneakily pulling up his nightshirt. Breaking off the kiss, Severus gazed down at the younger man.

The teen looked absolutely delectable like this, his hair mussed up more than usual, his lips red and puffy, slightly open and shiny from the wet kisses. But his eyes were the most alluring, for once not obscured by the customary spectacles. Their green colour appeared even more vibrant in contrast with Harry’s light skin, the pupils dark and wide, forming a black centre that only enhanced the beautiful colour surrounding them.  
“What do you want, Harry?” Murmured Severus, his eyes locked on Harry’s.  
“I want…” Harry hesitated, distracting himself by running his hand through Severus’s long hair.  
“What, Harry?” Leaning closer, he gently pecked the teen’s nose. “Anything you want, if it’s in my power I will grant your wish.”  
A delightful blush coloured Harry’s cheeks as he blurted out. “I want to feel you inside me, Severus. I want to go all the way.”

Severus groaned, feeling himself harden impossibly. Just the idea of being inside Harry, claiming his most secret place, was enough to almost lose control over his body.  
“Are you sure, Harry?” He felt he had to ask now before his libido took over and he has reached the point of no return.  
“Yes, I’m ready, Severus. I want.. I want to be yours in every way. You already have my heart and my soul, now you can have my body, too.”  
Harry’s words and his honest tone were doing peculiar things to Severus’s insides. Love and desire for this extraordinary young man filled him in equal measure, leaving him almost breathless.  
”Harry…” He whispered before claiming Harry’s mouth in another kiss, this time a more possessive one.

Reaching in between them, Severus started to unbutton Harry’s pyjama top, peppering little kisses along the newly exposed throat and then down the lightly muscled chest. Stopping to pay attention to each nipple, Severus revelled in the soft moans he was able to elicit from Harry.  
Moving further still, he playfully nibbled on Harry’s bellybutton, making him squirm and giggle as Severus knew he would. Harry lifted his torso and wiggled out of the pyjama shirt, carelessly throwing it somewhere across the room. Grinning at Severus’s raised eyebrow, he obediently lied down again.  
Severus paused when his hand touched the waistband of Harry’s pyjama pants. Looking up, he scanned his lover’s face for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. Finding only excited grin and twinkly eyes, he pulled the pants lower and buried his nose in the soft, curly hair of Harry’s crotch.  
The teen whimpered but didn’t move and Severus kept inhaling the musky aroma of aroused Harry. Finally, he decided he needed to taste as well as smell and removed the pyjama pants completely. Harry was now lying before him naked and Severus’s mouth watered from such a proffered feast.

He was simply stunning. Though he’d never be tall, his body was exquisite. Years of playing Quidditch provided him with just the right amount of muscles and his skin looked so smooth it was practically begging to be kissed.  
Harry’s cheeks were flushed, from arousal or embarrassment, or perhaps both and his breaths were coming out in pants. Severus licked his lips as his eyes focussed on the lovely erection in front of him. Flushed with almost the same colour as Harry’s cheeks and lying flat against his belly, it was a wonderful sight indeed.

Just as he was leaning in for a taste, a hand on his head stopped him.  
”Wait, please. Can I…? I want to see you, too.” Harry was biting his lip again, looking a bit nervous as if expecting Severus to refuse his plea.  
Severus kneeled on the bed between Harry’s legs and reached to gently stroke his face. ”Anything, love. You only need to ask.”  
Taking off his nightshirt was an easy task and he forced himself to remain still while Harry looked him over. Far from being beautiful, Severus was nevertheless proud of his body. The daily duelling exercises and light weight lifting kept him fit and firm and the few lovers he’s had all commented on how well endowed he was.

”Wow…” Said Harry, sounding a little breathless. ”You look… wow.”  
Severus chuckled, quirking one eyebrow in an amused gesture. ”I take that as a compliment. Now, may I continue?”  
Harry nodded, looking a bit wide-eyed yet more excited than nervous.  
Severus made himself comfortable between his legs and finally reached for his prize. Licking the bead of pre-come off the swollen head provoked a startled gasp from Harry and when Severus kissed his way down the hard length to nuzzle the lightly furred balls, Harry spread his legs wider and let out a throaty moan.  
Wanting to explore even further, Severus grabbed one of the pillows and positioned it under Harry’s hips. Pressing little licks and kisses everywhere he could reach and massaging Harry’s buttcheeks at the same time, Severus was leisurely making his way to the most hidden place on his lover’s body.

The first lick against the tightly furled hole had Harry jerking his hips in surprise. “Severus? What are you… ooooh…” The rest of his sentence was consumed by a low moan as Severus pressed his nose against Harry’s perineum and slowly pushed his tongue inside the virgin hole.  
The tight heat and the musky taste of Harry’s secret cavern were driving Severus wild with desire. Longing to be buried deep inside his lover but unwilling to cause him any pain, he slowly started to stretch the tight hole open. When his tongue fit in comfortably, a nonverbal wandless Accio had the bottle of his self-made lubricant flying into his outstretched hand without having to interrupt the delightful activity that was currently occupying his mouth.  
By the time his fingers were coated in the slippery substance and pressing inside, Harry’s low moans turned into loud cries of ‘oh my god’, ‘oh Merlin’ and ‘more!!’.

Severus has never been more aroused in his life. Before their final confrontation with the Dark Lord, he had sworn to himself he would not take Harry’s innocence until the teen was ready and then preferably only once he was already officially an adult. Now, however, after coming so close to actually losing him, Severus couldn’t refuse Harry anything and was more than willing to give in to his own selfish desires.

Looking up from the mesmerising sight of his three fingers disappearing into the wet heat of his lover’s body, Severus was met with an incredibly provoking image of wanton Harry. His legs splayed wide apart, his erection hard and leaking, hips rocking in a steady rhythm as he impaled himself on Severus’s fingers and his face caught up in the rapture of pleasure, he couldn’t make a more enticing picture.  
Using his left hand to gingerly coat his own hard member in lubricant, Severus leaned over Harry and purred in his ear. “Are you ready, love? Will you let me claim your most secret place, let me stretch you open and make you mine?”

Harry moaned and bucked his hips, then let out a quiet whine when Severus removed his fingers. Severus shushed him with a kiss and gradually started to push his erection into the stretched hole. Harry tensed in his arms and Severus paused, watching the green eyes scrunch up in pain.  
“Try to relax your muscles, Harry. The pain should ease in a moment.” Peppering Harry’s face with soothing kisses helped Severus maintain the hold on his control which was threatening to break the moment he entered that wonderfully tight heat.  
Harry nodded and took a deep breath, then another one and another one and soon his body melted into the bed underneath him. Severus rewarded him with gentle nips on his earlobe as he resumed the penetration.

Once fully seated he paused again, this time as much for his sake as for Harry’s. The intense urge to chase his own pleasure and pound the teen into the mattress was nearly overwhelming. Distracting himself with kissing and licking the delectable throat in front of him, he waited for Harry to adjust to this newest intrusion upon his body.  
Harry turned his head, meeting Severus’s questing mouth in a sweet kiss before whispering. “I’m fine now. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”

Severus kissed him again, feeling guilty for causing Harry pain even if it couldn’t have been avoided. First times were always painful and Severus could only hope he would be able to make it up to Harry by giving him pleasure as well.  
Starting to rock his hips in shallow thrusts, he observed him for any further signs of pain. Harry’s eyes were fixated on his and Severus witnessed the exact moment his lover felt the amazing sensation of having his prostate stimulated. Harry’s pupils widened almost impossibly, his hips jerked up in response to the intense pleasure and his mouth opened in such a sinful moan, Severus was certain he would remember it for the rest of his life.  
Making sure to angle his hips to keep hitting his lover’s prostate, Severus started to thrust harder, pushing Harry’s knees almost to his chest to ensure deep penetration. Beads of sweat were gathering on his forehead as he pounded into the pliant body underneath him, the lustful moans of his lover music to his ears.

“Sev… Sev’rus.. Sev…” Harry panted, chanting his name and Severus reached in between them, wanting to increase Harry’s pleasure to the maximum. Stroking the teen’s erection in time with his thrusts, it wasn’t long before Harry arched his back and came all over himself, long white stripes covering his stomach and chest.  
The heavenly contractions of Harry’s inner walls were squeezing Severus in a way that was driving him mad with want and he only managed a few more thrusts before erupting and shooting his come deep inside Harry.  
“Mine!” Growling like an animal, he pulled Harry into a tight embrace as they both rode out the waves of their orgasms.

After a while, Harry stirred and Severus pulled away slightly to look at him. Two shiny green eyes, flushed cheeks and a big grin, that was his Harry. Severus kissed him languidly and when he felt himself soften and slip out of his messy haired lover, he reached for the wand and cleaned them both with a quick Scourgify.

  
Lying down on his back, he let Harry use his chest as a pillow before pulling the blanket over them both.  
“Wow.” Said Harry. “That was amazing. Thank you, Severus.” Lifting his head, he looked up.  
Severus carded his fingers through the messy locks. “No, Harry, thank you. You gave me the most precious gift of allowing me to love you in every way. I shall always cherish you as my greatest treasure.”  
Blushing fetchingly, Harry smiled and lay his head down again. His fingers were drawing random patterns all over Severus’s chest and the potions master was nearly lulled to sleep by those soothing touches.

“Severus?”  
Roused by Harry’s voice, Severus mumbled. “Mmh?”  
“Do you think the headmaster will let me spend some nights here with you?” Harry asked.  
Severus blinked his eyes open and resumed petting the unruly hair. “I am certain he will and should he have any objections I intend to remind him of his own scheming to encourage our relationship.”  
Harry was quiet for a moment and then laughed suddenly. “You are going to blackmail him, aren’t you?”  
Severus smirked. “I won’t need to if he behaves.” He said and Harry giggled, shifting until they were lying face to face.

“I love you, Severus.”  
“I love you, too, Harry. With all my heart, such as it is.” Severus replied.  
“Forever?” Harry was looking at him with such intensity that his eyes appeared to be glowing.  
“Forever and always. Will you always be mine, Harry?” Severus leaned closer and cupped Harry’s face in his hands.  
“Always.” Breathed Harry and Severus claimed his lips possessively, pouring all his love, passion and desire into the kiss. He realized that his fear of tainting Harry with his darkness was unnecessary. On the contrary, it was Harry’s pure soul and his love that have cleansed Severus, changing him in a way he would never believe possible. And given him hope for better future. Future with Harry.

 

 

The End

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end, my friends :) 
> 
> Thank you once again for lovely comments and many kudo's ♥ ♥ ♥  
> I hope the last chapter didn't disappoint :)


End file.
